Can people say thanks when I run into the road for them?

[Fizzysours]

I am a runner and going out once a day. I try to choose a quieter time. I ALWAYS run into the road to give pedestrians of any age plenty of safe space. It's usually really obvious to see that I have done this as our area is fairly quiet. A quarter of people say thanks or a cheery morning. By 'thanks' I mean a smile, a raised hand or ANYTHING. It would be nice if more people could manage the tiny pleasantries that make everyone's day a bit friendlier, especially when we are all so divided?

A few years ago I was just walking down a hill to where I was living and a man came up behind me, he was running and I accidentally panicked. It was a visceral reaction.

I actually was thinking just yesterday to start a thread about this.
I’m very annoyed when our family is moving out for a runner to go past and he (or she) moves his head in our direction to say “thank you”.
I don’t want your “thank you”, I move out to protect myself and my family! I want you to go past as soon as possible especially because my DD has additional needs and not good at keeping social distancing.
So obviously I’m not saying “thank you” to people who move out for me, I presume that they feel the same.

I’m really grateful to everyone who keep social distancing and follow rules, I wish them well in my heart!

I'd certainly do a paddington bear hard stare at one that didn't ....

Just why?!

I’m all for manners. But this is so OTT!

I don't care about this. Where i am i sometimes go in the road sometimes the other person does. Usually we smile and say hello, not thank you. It's like not one person holding a door open for another.

Well somebody has to move. So it is 50/50 if I should or they should. So...nice to say thanks, no? FGS? Not really difficult is it.

YABU, whilst someone has to move:

It should always favour both the person most able to do it, so the fit active person already primed for exercise.

It should always favour the person using the facilities less for the designed role - so on a running track, the pedestrian moves, on a pavement, the runner moves.

And in any case, there's absolutely no reason to expect thanks for something you acknowledge you've chosen to do.

Equally as part of normal social interaction its good to acknowledge people when they're in your environment, even if they do what's expected of them, it's nothing to be annoyed about if they don't though, you never know if they have the same social conventions as you, or if they're hugely distracted or anything, just carry on.

Interesting greenlynx, it just shows what a minefield it is, the runner's thank you is well intentioned, so is your reason for not doing so. Whilst we have new rules, no one gave us the book on etiquette so can't we just carry on assuming the vast majority of people are decent, mean no one any harm and are just getting by the best they can?

There are too many crowds, too much hurrying, too much pushing and shoving. Maybe we should all get into these new habits a little more

In which case, pedestrians are going to need a lot more space. We can't keep walking in the road if there are more cars around. And we need to sort out pavement parking. Even now you find you can't walk down a road in peace because there are vans parked.

I just run down the middle of the road. It's quite liberating!

It's everyone's responsibility to create enough space between people - so just think of it as 100% your responsibility (also 100% theirs but, as you've moved already, there isn't a 'too closeness' for them to deal with).

No one owes you thanks or attention, how weird that you feel entitled to it. I can’t stand it when members of the public feel entitled to demand attention from me as I’m going about my day and clearly sending out basic cues that I do not want to interact with them (no eye contact, earphones in), I don’t find it ‘friendly’, why not just do your run and listen to an audio book so you’re not expecting other people to provide chat or praise to you?

It should always favour both the person most able to do it, so the fit active person already primed for exercise

To a extent, but I see no reason why families and couples out for an amble can't go single file. I will still go in the road, but I don't have to go as far into the road and if a car is coming I still have space to pass.

I can’t stand it when members of the public feel entitled to demand attention from me

Me neither - actually I think that's a bit of a runner thing. Every so often in the Run Mummy Run forum on Facebook you get angry women moaning about "rude" runners who don't say hello to them when they pass. Their argument is that you are sharing a hobby so you should be sociable. If people want to say hi or wave, that's fine and I will always reciprocate, but I don't get annoyed if people are in the zone and ignore me.

I'm the same OP, I step out on the road often and I never get a thanks but I guess it's made aware when someone does the same for me and I always show gratitude.

I think it's just nice to say thank you to anyone who moves out of the way or stops to let you past, not just runners. It doesn't cost anything even my 5yo has the manner to thank people.

I always say thank you but tbh it's rare I need to as most people don't move! Many couple's walking won't let go of each other's hands on narrow paths to allow others to pass. Many runners don't want to veer of their specific path by even an inch. Many parents don't stop their kids scooting/running into other people. On the whole I think more people don't have manners than do!

Heck, is it raining where you all are? That can be the only explanation for a lot of the nastiness and rudeness on here to OP. It is politeness, in the same way that you say thank you if someone keeps a door open for you or steps to one side when shopping. Life is harsh at the minute. Surely a smile is worth doing to cheer everyone up a but.

OP, no YANBU

I’m grateful when people run around me but I’m usually trying to get the baby to nap in the sling when I’m out so I’d rather people didn’t say good morning or thank you to me! They do anyway, which is nice but annoying when it wakes her up I don’t always smile if I’m half asleep or thinking of something else but thank you for being considerate, OP!

Thank you for not charging straight through me and knocking me down. Why would I quickly move when someone is running towards me? If I can see someone from a distance walking, yes. If your running it’s on you.

The only thing I find tricky when running, is people making assumptions about where I'm about to go and moving pre-emptively, so we end up doing a bit of a dance. Sometimes they move directly into my way (e.g. stepping 'back' into a gateway I was about to go through). Sometimes I feel I want to do hand signals! Likewise, sometimes I move into the road to avoid them, then it turns out they were about to cross the road, or had already decided to do so to avoid me.

Running down the middle of the road is much easier (at the moment)!

I wouldn't care if you ran close to me so l wouldn't say thank you.

Really! You wouldn't care? That's quite worrying.

OP I'm with you. Regardless of whether it's on you (as the runner) or the other person, the fact is you have moved to benefit you both and therefore a thank you would be nice. Round here I'd say the thank you / acknowledgement rate is about 30%.

be prepared to slow down, or even stop to allow others that are slower and caught unaware, to move over. Yes this as well. So many runners and cyclists don't seem to want to do that, they'd rather barge past than slow down or stop which is pathetic and dangerous. And it goes for drivers too, I always leave a car width and slow down to overtake cyclists or runners but so many drivers don't want to slow down and end up clipping handlebars etc. Equally pathetic and dangerous!

Thank you for not charging straight through me and knocking me down. Why would I quickly move when someone is running towards me

Why do you have to "quickly" move? If I see you from 100m away, why can't you see me from 100m away?

You've moved for the purpose of continuing your run. (You could just stop and walk slowly behind the other person / go around each other at walking pace, if you didn't care about your own running).

No-one has to say thank you for not being run over.

The only thing I find tricky when running, is people making assumptions about where I'm about to go and moving pre-emptively, so we end up doing a bit of a dance yes I've had that too and also if I am on my bike and come up behind someone and say excuse me, they jump all over the place and panic! But I am sure if I dinged my bell they'd panic even more. I don't really know what to do on shared use paths at times (and this is in normal times, I've not been out on my bike outside since lockdown started).

Thank you? You should get a bloody medal, what a hero!

if I can I walk into the road with 2 dogs, never bothered me if people say thanks or not, I always thank if others move before I have chance to though.

@Fizzysours you remind me of my mother. Always complaining that people wouldn't even 'bid you the time of day'. But she was ignorant as fuck and wouldn't even look people in the eye.
Do you give a little wave to the people you're avoiding?