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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Can people say thanks when I run into the road for them?

306 replies

Fizzysours · 15/04/2020 11:25

I am a runner and going out once a day. I try to choose a quieter time. I ALWAYS run into the road to give pedestrians of any age plenty of safe space. It's usually really obvious to see that I have done this as our area is fairly quiet. A quarter of people say thanks or a cheery morning. By 'thanks' I mean a smile, a raised hand or ANYTHING. It would be nice if more people could manage the tiny pleasantries that make everyone's day a bit friendlier, especially when we are all so divided?

OP posts:

MotherofDragons48 · 17/04/2020 06:29

@onestepsideways OP already said that she tries to run at quiet times? As for being selfish for running on pavements what do want her to do ? Runners are pedestrians so actually the entitlement thing applies here in that runners are entitled to use it! I normally say 'excuse me' then move out on to the road if necessary to pass walkers and don't run up behind them but when they wearing headphones and in a world of their own what are you expected to do , ask for an invitation? Thank you for doing what you do . People that exercise are trying to ease your burden.

Mummadeeze · 17/04/2020 06:33

I run around people and don’t expect any acknowledgement or even want any. I just want to get on with my run. I think I would actually find it weird if someone thanked me but I probably wouldn’t notice or hear when I am listening to loud music and in the zone.

verybritishproblems · 17/04/2020 06:38

I end up stepping out the way for the majority of joggers and think I’ve only had a couple nods or acknowledgements. I don’t expect it but it’s just common curtesy and I do the same for everyone who moves for me.

Rubyupbeat · 17/04/2020 07:18

The majority of runners don't thank me for getting my dogs to sit and wait, rather than chase them.I
As for the arrogance of

'I am enjoying the idea that runners annoy people. How irritating that those that are able to, are keeping their fitness up!! Of course, we're less likely to use healthcare resources... '

What about the 35% of runners that attend the physio because of ones injuries due to running?...that was from 4 years ago, so probably more now!

Rubyupbeat · 17/04/2020 07:19

Should say nhs physio

BrownStripePJ · 17/04/2020 07:24

We don't thank joggers because they always have headphones in and seem really focused! So Don't want to out them off their stride.

And ..

definitely do not want them to say anything back to us incase they breathe or spittal on us

Mominatrix · 17/04/2020 07:35

YABU, a thank you is nice, but certainly should not be expected. Reminds me of something my middle school physics teacher told us - do not exptect to be congratulated for doing what is expected of you.

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/04/2020 07:36

I think both parties should move out of the way to pass and show common curtusy. I hate it when I'm stuck trying to step into the road or cross it when cars are coming with my slow walking toddler because ignorant groups of people who have met up with dogs make no effort to move to their side of the pavement and stay in the middle on their track. I rarely go now and luckily have a garden.

skyblu · 17/04/2020 07:56

You could also just cross the road....instead of running IN the road.
OR
You could actually also just stop running for a couple of seconds to allow the other person time to move completely out of YOUR way or cross the street.

Stopping running may be a pain to you, but your running pace is slightly less important than potential spread of this disease.
It’s horrible having some heavy breathing jogger coming thundering at you and no time to get yourself out of the way.
You may think you’re being a big hero by running in the road....but the other person may think that you are a) still not far enough over, b) a knobhead for putting yourself in the road/danger c) selfish for not just stopping for a couple of seconds to allow the ‘pass’ to be safe & sensible.
Just a thought.....

FuckPolitenessSSDGM · 17/04/2020 08:09

YABU. I wouldn't say thank you. I would assume you had earphones in so wouldn't hear me if I did. To be irritated that others aren't thanking you for getting our of the way is just as bad as those who are irritated by runners. Get over yourself.

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/04/2020 08:12

I hate it as well when cyclists use the pedestrian foot path and then ring their bell behind you so you jump and have to dive out way.

9ofpentangles · 17/04/2020 08:16

I've often wondered if it would be better for people to run somewhere quieter than a busy street with cars and pedestrians. The amount of times I've seen a jogger nearly get run over because they don't want to lose momentum waiting for cars before they cross is unreal

Abreadsandwich · 17/04/2020 08:39

I've often wondered if it would be better for people to run somewhere quieter than a busy street with cars and pedestrians
I love running on quiet footpaths, fields and farms (where there is a path obviously bot just randomly through a farm!) and am actively seeking our quiet places to run at the moment.....but I dont live on a footpath or farm. So unfortunately its necessary for me to run at least half to 1 mile in residential or busier areas to get there.

daisypond · 17/04/2020 08:44

So unfortunately its necessary for me to run at least half to 1 mile in residential or busier areas to get there.
It’s not necessary to run. You could walk that bit.

smallchildhelp · 17/04/2020 08:47

If I run into the road, it’s just as much to protect myself as to protect the other person. I certainty don’t expect a thank you.

Makeitgoaway · 17/04/2020 08:48

I hoping the forecast for rain this afternoon is correct so I can have the woods to myself. I might have to share with the occasional runner but I bet there are no hand in hand couples or families across the whole path

OneStepSideways · 17/04/2020 09:20

OP already said that she tries to run at quiet times? As for being selfish for running on pavements what do want her to do ? Runners are pedestrians so actually the entitlement thing applies here in that runners are entitled to use it! I normally say 'excuse me' then move out on to the road if necessary to pass walkers and don't run up behind them but when they wearing headphones and in a world of their own what are you expected to do , ask for an invitation? Thank you for doing what you do . People that exercise are trying to ease your burden.

I appreciate people are trying to stay healthy with exercise, but the more people who exercise in crowded areas, where one must give way, serves only to spread the virus. Thanks for appreciating what I do. The NHS is on its knees right now, we have limited PPE and I’ve had no sleep so I might’ve come across grumpy.

I’d expect her to run on wide tracks or fields or broad pavements where she can easily pass people without going into the road or running up from behind. Or a run around the park.

I’m a bit irritable as I’m constantly dodging joggers and cyclists on my commute (I have a 30 min walk to get from station to hospital) as do many other nurses, doctors andhcps I work with. I’m always having to stop and squish into the hedge to let joggers and cyclists pass. And they frequently ding their bell or call out ‘excuse me’ when they run/cycle up from behind. I feel like saying why not WALK past instead of asking me to move into hedge/mud so they can keep up their speed.
I never walk with headphones in, I walk briskly and am now often late to work due to this (once deserted) path being so busy.

Walking on normal pavements when I get off the train after work there are numerous joggers and it means one of us must divert our course to keep distance. With walkers it’s like a dance, with runners it’s this sudden fright. It makes me jump when runners come up behind me or around corners so it wouldn’t occur to me to thank them for going around instead of colliding!

Abreadsandwich · 17/04/2020 11:30

I’d expect her to run on wide tracks or fields or broad pavements where she can easily pass people without going into the road or running up from behind. Or a run around the park.

I've been avoiding parks like the plague (excuse the pun) because I expect the world and his wife to be there out for a walk, or walking their dog. Problem is most people dont live in fields or footpaths so do have to get to them.
A PP suggests walking until you get there.i run in the road and generally do leave a 2m gap, or wait at a safe distance for other pedestrians to pass if there isnt space to pass safely.
There seems a common assumption that all runners are rude, wont slow down or break stride for anyone because they must run at x pace. Whilst I dont walk to get to quieter places, I am quite amenable to stopping, moving out of the way, waiting, deviating. It's not a race. I'm lucky that I can still do my preferred choice of exercise.

Inkpaperstars · 17/04/2020 11:33

I agree onestep. When other people are nearby runners should slow to a walk and cyclists should dismount and walk, that way they can actually take part in social distancing or at the very least allow others a decent chance to escape from them. Running and cycling just aren't appropriate activities for busier areas right now. Quieter areas probably doable.

rosedrop · 17/04/2020 13:20

If I see a runner coming towards me it depends who is facing the oncoming traffic. I go for power walk at 7 in morning so the roads are extra quiet. I will signal that I will walk on road as I can see what is coming if I am facing that way. 99% of the time I put my hand up as thanks if they go on the road and they do the same or smile. Having said that it works both ways whether running, walking or the bloody morons on bikes that just keep heading straight for you. If I have to take unwarranted evasive action and being a bit outspoken they get the sound of my tongue in no uncertain terms when we have passed each other

MandalaYogaTapestry · 17/04/2020 15:44

OP you are avoiding contact for your own benefit, not for theirs. No gratitude is due.

Abreadsandwich · 17/04/2020 17:46

OP you are avoiding contact for your own benefit, not for theirs. No gratitude is due.
I imagine there would be (even) more runner hate if we all passed with a 20cm gap rather than running in the road for our own benefit

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 19/04/2020 13:22

I just ran in the road to avoid an old man and the idiot actually swerved to move towards me on the grass verge - WTF is that all about?!

puffinandkoala · 19/04/2020 13:41

The majority of runners don't thank me for getting my dogs to sit and wait, rather than chase them

Not sure runners should feel grateful to a dog owner acting responsibly as it's what is supposed to happen. Especially now when we are supposed to be protecting the NHS - so make sure your dogs don't bite people or knock them over.

My mum and I disagree on a related issue. I always thank someone if they stop for me at a zebra crossing but I don't thank someone if they stop at a pelican/toucan crossing. She thinks I should but I think there's a difference between someone stepping onto a crossing and there being a clear red light for traffic.

puffinandkoala · 19/04/2020 13:44

Running and cycling just aren't appropriate activities for busier areas right now

Cycling should be on the roads, in which case no problem.

Running is not an issue as people are running solo, ambling along taking up the whole pavement with your other half, or the rest of your family/household, is an issue.

But actually the issue is that we are still giving cars all the room.

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