I don’t understand how people are bingeing bidders etc.

[Nee35]

I don’t understand where I’m going wrong. I have literally not got a moment to myself. From the moment I get up it’s just rush rush getting breakfast, snacks, lunch then think of dinner for kids. Cleaning up their messes, doing an activity if I get time with them otherwise they running around living room amusing themselves. I plan but doesn’t go well - e.g. today I planned after breakfast we will go for a walk but my 4 year old had a tantrum that she wants to stay home and it’s too cold outside!

I just don’t get how people have time to binge watch box sets, clear out cupboards, find old photos and other stuff I keep hearing about. I keep getting “motivational” things on WhatsApp with people saying this is what you should do today (I.e. in terms of organising). By 7pm I’m shattered and in bed by 9 to start another day! Where am I going wrong? Kids are all under 5. Youngest just turned 1. The motivational things are from my mum friends do they have same pressures so I am lost how they getting do much time to do stuff.

Oops sorry typo on my heading, see I’m trying to type whilst holding down the kids and stopping them fighting lol!

Heading should read: “don’t understand how people are bingeing boxsets etc.”

Are you a single mum?

Having young kids is a frantic time, but if you have literally no time to yourself you will burn out.

In the evening when they go to bed perhaps? I have four DC ranging in ages between one and ten, I’m also 25 weeks pregnant. Definitely have the energy to watch TV in the evening and definitely have a tidy home 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I do have a husband but he is still working. Very long hours. He doesn’t help out at all and to be honest with his job and current state at the moment I can understand the hours. He will finish work at 8pm by which time the kids are in bed.

We must both be going wrong, because I'm permanently exhausted with two under-5s and no time to do all the motivational extras! Planning is hit and miss here, too. DC1 has asd so we use a visual timetable, but even that's a struggle because of all the changes lately.

I think we're doing pretty averagely. We painted eggs yesterday and they were heavily abstract, yet other 3 year olds in preschool are apparently correctly painting chicks and flowers on their eggs

Best to just smile, nod and carry on

@Umnoway what’s your typical day like? Is there a routine or something you do at certain times?

I've just always made time for myself, when my kids were 4 and 1 baby would sit/sleep and watch tv with me and 4 year would entertain themselves. I do remember the cooking and clearing up after was pretty relentless, it still is now with older children, but never to the extent it got in the way of time to myself. I don't think kids need or should have constant stimulation, that said 1 year olds are tricky but do they not nap?

People bingeing box sets don't have kids under 5. Mine are teens and are currently still in bed. When they are up they'll be hunting for food then most likely back in their rooms. So I have plenty of time to binge box sets, clear out cupboards, read books etc.

@ExchangedCat that’s a good idea having a visual timetable. My kids are not reading at the moment so that would help.

You have young kids, not everyone does. Parents of teenagers or even pre-teens have a bit more time to themselves. Our eldest children went through their teens practically in solitary confinement and if we'd had the lockdown then I'd have been online, er I mean tidying up, non-stop.

Don't try to do what everyone else does. Just do what works best for you and your kids.

Some people have older, more independent children (or none at all).

Some people have been furloughed or work p/t so have time that would’ve been spent working or commuting is now available for other things.

Because they have different family or work situations than you? Because they watch boxsets when the dc are in bed? People with older children or people who aren't working and whose partners aren't either will have much more time.

Maybe their version of “binge watching” is “watching 1-2 episodes a night”? For example, if your DH finished at 8pm, then you sat on the sofa and watched 2 episodes, then that will take you to 10pm and bedtime.

Also some children entertain themselves better and don’t need to be hovered around, so more time that way as well.

Keep in mind you’re only seeing a snapshot of their day on social media as well - their house might be a shit-tip; they’re run ragged, but they came across some old photos in the ONE drawer they managed to sort that evening?

No kids don’t nap. To be honest my 1 year old is the problem. He is very adventurous - he will climb sofa and jump off. I’ve cleared everything to make baby proof but he just jumps off anything. I have him under one arm whilst I cook. Whilst I’ve been typing this he got hold of my iPad and hit my 4 year old on head. They are fighting! Obviously I’m watching them before anyone gets “worried”

@Dyrne some good ideas. Thanks. I need to make lunch now so please keep ideas coming I’ll read later. Thank you

@Nee35

Neither are reading here, although the eldest is trying to, so this definitely helps.

I've decided to mainly ignore stories of what everyone else is doing - you never know how much support others have or their challenges.

We're both working from home but I've taken leave this week to try and settle things a bit as it's been a crazy juggling act since this all started, which isn't helping the kids at all.

Good luck with the visual timetable

Having toddlers/ very young children is always going to be more full on than having older children. I’m a single parent to 2 primary aged DDs. They are, for the most part, able to spend a significant portion of each day amusing themselves and playing together. Which leaves me time to cook, read etc. We have a routine going consisting of a long walk or run first thing (we are all members of an athletic club and running is our family hobby) then breakfast, then some school work, a bit of free time, lunch, free time, yoga on YouTube, free time then dinner.

I’ve thought several times that lockdown would be a hell of a lot harder if they were both at the needy toddler/Preschooler stage. You’re doing great OP. You just have young children and they’re demanding.

I literally cannot function without time to myself. I only have one child who is five months so it isn't as hard as it might be for others. I put him in the carrier and do an hour or so of cleaning a day while he sleeps. Often less. I batch cook simple food - we eat a lot of soup and we often eat the same thing every day for three lunches or whatever.

Its going to be difficult because of their age. Try doing things at teh same time every day, same order and give them a "name" that they recognise. Repeatedly remind them what is coming next and don't spring surprises. Children don't want to go for a walk if they are engrossed in playing - you are likely to get a lot of backlash. Go for walk every day after breakfast, for example.

. I keep getting “motivational” things on WhatsApp with people saying this is what you should do today (I.e. in terms of organising).

Just because they are sharing it doesn't mean they are doing it! They might just be passing on ideas in case it is useful or even hoping it will inspire them...

Furloughed pre dc I would have been able to do so much (but would probably just have slept a lot!). As it is I am busier than usual in the week. Weekends are slightly better as we aren't going on day trips so can do house stuff (but only if we take it turns to do child or house)

I just think either they have a cage they lock the little darlings in or they have those "well behaved" children I'm told exist

I told my children to play outside while I cleaned up the small space infront of the tv within a couple of minutes ds1 kicked ds2 who smashed a racket into ds1 HEAD he now has a 4/5 inch bruise on his face

My small space is still a fucking mess

Both DP and I are working from home (full time jobs) with our 5 yr old DD also at home. No free time for any of that here either - in fact I have far less ‘me’ time than I normally would. Without my daily commute, my kids various clubs and my own there’s very little down time at all. Trying to juggle a full days work whilst keeping DD entertained has been extremely stressful and I just feel guilty that I’m not doing either very well all the time. Can’t wait for things to get back to normal :(

I had to mute DDs class WhatsApp group as it’s the same as you describe - endless fun things they’re doing with their children. They mean well and it’s obviously good to share ideas for those who have that kind of time but it was just making me feel worse.

Cant you watch tv between 7 and 9pm. I've never watched tv during the day and I've got/had young kids

when my kids were that age, I was SAHM, so really not any different to lock down, (except we coudl go to the park)

I was like you. Busy days, tired evenings. No time for extra cleanouts or box sets.

Now, I am also wondering how people have time.
I have 3 teens. No need to supervise, but I am also WFH, and supporting 4 families who are on the shielding list with shoppign and prescriptions etc.
I am really busy. More so than usual. And my youngest really needs more support and structure with school, so when they go back next week I will be needing to fit that in too.

I am not over stretched (yet) but I certainly am not doing wonderful extra craft projects or watching box sets