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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to lie to friend about her illustrations?

67 replies

JemimaPyjamas · 13/04/2020 21:22

A friend is an illustrator, but in my opinion, not a very good or talented one - her drawings, usually of animals in clothes, are quite flat and extremely twee. She has mentioned previously that her business isn't doing well but she is determined to make it work regardless (and I think her parents are helping out a bit with the finances.) In the five years I have known her, she has been doing the same style but has now written a children's book, also in the same style...

I have been sent a copy to read, and also some cards that are in the same style and, very excited, she wants me to say what I think.

I like her a lot but we are not super close, and I am not a fellow illustrator or anything that would qualify me, in her view, to give an informed opinion (I do have 'a' level art though but she doesn't know that!!) I suspect she wants reassurance and praise rather than anything else.

I'm going to have to lie and say something bland like it's 'nice' aren't I...?

AIBU to lie and say what she wants to hear (or at least along those lines)

ANBU to tell her that it's not very good

OP posts:

Zaphodsotherhead · 13/04/2020 22:01

I'm an author. An incredible number of people send me their writing to 'critique'. They don't want 'critique', they want to be told how brilliant their stuff is.

Unless someone is paying me for an indepth assessment of their work, they will get a 'well, it's not my sort of thing so I'm not really qualified to comment on it but you've clearly put a lot of work into it and should be proud of yourself for your achievement.' Then, if I feel like it, or the stuff isn't too crap I recommend somewhere they can send their work to be properly critiqued.

Therollockingrogue · 13/04/2020 22:04

You shouldn’t really say it because actually illustrating isn’t much to do with talent/
style only, and in the current climate this is truer than ever. Increasingly, ability to work with tech to produce flawless well produced images, ability to network, work to tight deadlines etc etc are all more important. Lots of people might have said Quentin Blake was a bit of a scribbly illustrator at first. Anyway , she’s an illustrator... so a freelancer and if she isn’t earning much then she’s almost certainly in the shit now and will probably realise she’s better off on benefits.

Therollockingrogue · 13/04/2020 22:07

Also she’s an illustrator who has illustrated a whole book and is hoping for it to be published. So she is probably aware it’s not going very well.
If it was going well, she’s be illustrating a book that had already been commissioned and therefore wouldn’t need your opinion. She’s probably earning approx zero . So just be kind 😊

scoobydoo1971 · 13/04/2020 22:08

The kindest option would be to say you are not qualified to critique. Why not suggest your friend gets involved with a local art network? This will involve professionals who can give her constructive feedback on her technique and presentation style. Perhaps, in time, this illustrator could improve and develop into a successful art producer? Lets face it, art is a hugely subjective area...what is liked by one will be loathed by another. I suspect that is half the joy of art tbh.

DrManhattan · 13/04/2020 22:11

I'd tell her that they are not your cup of tea and if shes looking for feedback to find someone who is more up on illustrations than you are.

Nothing2doooooo · 13/04/2020 22:17

Always bring a solution when critiquing, otherwise say nothing. Unless it's absolutely necessary.

If it's not good, why and what does she need to change? That's better than just saying it's not good. Doesn't help her.

PyongyangKipperbang · 13/04/2020 22:17

I find a sort of change of subject, on the subject is ok.

"Oh I so wish I had a natural talent like you do, I am hopeless at art! You must be so proud of this! Have you sent it to any agents to see if they can get it published?!"

Be all enthusiastic and she (hopefully) wont notice you didnt actually give an opinion.

Victoria6386 · 13/04/2020 22:21

Im an artist and people have been coming to me for opinions about their art for years. If it's shit, i tell them. Hence most of my friends can appropriate im one of the few people who will give them honest advice, while everyone else just smiles and allows them to make further mistakes. So yeah, i think you should tell her, she might not love you for it, but she might improve as a result.

MerryDeath · 13/04/2020 22:23

these people who are blessed with nothing but perseverance and blind confidence are the ones that seem to succeed at their aims, at least in my circles.

littleeasterbonnet · 13/04/2020 22:23

^ What Kipperbang said.

recrudescence · 13/04/2020 22:23

I think I’d find all this tiptoeing around the truth a bit wearing and end up saying what I really thought.

whirlwinds · 13/04/2020 22:28

I am working artistically in a sense and when/if I ask for an opinion I want the good, the OK and the bad along with solutions. Constructive criticism is something to take and learn from. If you don't have anything that could help her work it probably is better to declare ignorance.

squirrelsbizaar · 13/04/2020 22:28

I think I would stick to not qualified to comment, or words to that effect.
No good will come of honest feedback here - she's not going to stop doing something she's invested so much time, money and energy into on one persons say so, you'll just upset her and likely lose a friend.
I would leave her to work it out for herself, the business is not making any money, she's tried and it didn't work out. One of life's lessons unfortunately.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 13/04/2020 22:30

following on from a creative writing class, I am in a small group where we exchange and workshop each others writing - there's a tendency to "be nice" - but because not a particular friendship group, easier to be constructive.

Not sure if similar groups exist for illustrators?

Justamassivefart · 13/04/2020 22:40

I think - in between saying you like them (shit sandwich) you should tell her to think about her audience and suggest a few audiences who might like them

muckycat · 13/04/2020 22:40

I shouldn't get involved, if I were you. just be vague and platitudinous.

I've been here (more about music than art amongst people I know), offering honest non-expert feedback when asked, only for the person to start defending their position and getting quite arsey.

if she can't take on board low sales and low interest as feedback, she certainly won't hear any tactful suggestions you make and being blunt would risk souring the friendship. I suspect this stint as an illustrator will just last until her parents stop bankrolling her anyway.

steppemum · 13/04/2020 22:43

I think I woudl go against the grain here, and say something.

for example: they are not really my style, I prefer something more modern.

AvalancheKit · 13/04/2020 22:43

There are millions of art critics, all of whom are quite correct. If this is a business rather than a lifestyle, your friend needs to find an agent.

Oakmaiden · 13/04/2020 22:45

She doesn't want to know what you think - she wants you to be impressed by what she has done.

If you like her, tell her that they are great - you would never in a million years be able to do anything like that.

Crinkle77 · 13/04/2020 22:51

I'd just lie. There is a lady in my work who draws and paints but isn't very good. She's tried selling some of her stuff at craft fairs and can't understand why it doesn't sell. I couldn't break her heart by telling the truth.

FiveFootTwoEyesOfBlue · 13/04/2020 22:59

If it's horribly twee pictures of animals in clothes they'll probably sell well as birthday cards, the kind with rhymes inside - look at all the twee crap in the shops. There are lots of people with bad taste out there!

BlankTimes · 13/04/2020 23:02

Are there any similar styles on Etsy?
Can you direct her there "for market research" ?

nettie434 · 13/04/2020 23:02

Ultimately whether they sell or not will depend on others’ opinions, not yours. In the days when you could go to little cafes in touristy towns which had a selection of paintings by local artists for sale, I often used to be amazed at some of the prices a not very good (in my view) picture of the local harbour could command. However, that might work for an amateur artist but not for someone seeking to make a business. If pushed, I’d focus on the amount of work required to do well and the importance of having a back up career.

SarahAndQuack · 13/04/2020 23:05

It's shitty to lie to a friend, and patronising too.

If you feel you can't tell her the truth because, as a non-expert, you don't know how to phrase it, fair enough. I would be right there with you.

But please don't pretend you like them, because that is making youfeel better.

People who say 'ooh, I couldn't hurt my friend by telling her her work was bad' get on my nerves. What they mean is 'I couldn't risk me getting hurt'. They are quite happy to see that friend continue to be hurt, after all. They just want to pretend they have nothing to do with it.

SarahAndQuack · 13/04/2020 23:06

In the days when you could go to little cafes in touristy towns which had a selection of paintings by local artists for sale, I often used to be amazed at some of the prices a not very good (in my view) picture of the local harbour could command.

The price that is printed on a little card beside a painting is a hopeful invitation. It's not what the painting actually goes for!

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