To think it's not doing our children any harm to experience not being able to eat exactly what they want/have what they want?

[SoapIsYourFriend]

I'm really interested to see our children accept that actually, no, we can't have xyz. I don't think this aspect is doing them any harm at all (all other things being equal and no immediate emergencies).

Not wishing to tempt fate, but... dd2 who is notoriously fussy and would eat junk food all day every day, given the choice, has now had all avenues closed to her due to her being unable to sneak off to the corner shop on her way back from school. She is now eating a proper meal every evening as she’s actually hungry these days! 😊

@RoseLalique fingers crossed for you that this is a new normal!

I think I've been struggling more with not getting what I want! We have good eaters anyway, but having a more chilled out timetable and being able to involve them in prep and cooking has been great, rather than 'quick, eat up and let's go' in the morning etc.

My teens are just eating more of everything...

Must be very difficult for those with a genuine restricted diet rather than only fussy/picky it's irritating that 2 are vegetarian so we are still doing different meals.

We're not really having to compromise about what we eat (except having an ordinary chicken today rather than a free range one).

However, ds being at home all the time means he can't go out and buy rubbish while at college, so he's eating better. He had a few spots, they've gone.

Yanbu I have got a fussy one

She's Much less fussy lately !!

I choose to view this as a positive thing.
Since lockdown started, I have seen the children eat more slices of apples and increase their fruit tolerance levels overall. DS is prone to bad constipation so I'm very mindful of that. I limit his rice consumption and make sure that he has two or three cups of water each day too with his meals.
They both eat lots of fruit and vegetables each week. When they are bored in between meals I ask if they want to do art instead. I only permit them to have one treat each week. Today at the park, I got both of them exercising. No exercise no dessert is my rule. Even if it is only ten minutes it counts. I don't like to do fad diets at all. Rather I try to eat healthily and drink lots of water.

I think we have far too much choice generally, and it's no bad thing to have some of it removed. I also think it's a huge positive step to be using more local produce and planning meals based on availability rather than just convenience and desire.

But there has to be a balance somewhere as a little of what we love keeps us content.

I also don't think it's limited to children.

I have to admit I’m using it to my advantage. They have seen the news and pictures of the shops so understand that they can’t moan about the food served.
They are now eating so much more than before and actually enjoying the food.

It'll be doing spoilt children the world of good.
The rest? No, I don't think this is a good situation for them.

Children in the U.K. are ridiculously indulged. Re Meals - there is always a choice : “Eat or be Hungry”.

I hear so many friends “Isobel only eats Crisps and Cheddar”/ “James only eats Elbow Pasta and Watermelon”

They’re playing you like a fiddle! It’s farcical.

Oh I’ve never once asked my kids what they want to eat! Should I be?

Such a smug head tilt type question

Such a smug asshole reply.

You're just trying to show that you're a better parent than all the ones pandering to their child's tastes, by pretending that you've never even considered doing such a thing.

Children in the U.K. are ridiculously indulged. Re Meals - there is always a choice : “Eat or be Hungry”.

I was convinced this would work too!... until I had a picky eater who just picks 'be hungry'. So now am left in slightly awkward position of "cater to fussy child or allow child to not eat", neither of which are brilliant options long-term.

No exercise no dessert is my rule. Even if it is only ten minutes it counts

@dyscalculicgal96 are they aware that this is your ‘rule’. Doesn’t really sound like a very healthy mindset to pass onto young children to be honest. Fair enough don’t have too many puddings, eat well and keep active, but to directly tie being able to eat a treat to ‘have you done your exercise?’ doesn’t sound very healthy to me.

I have been overly indulgent of my children in the past and have stopped. They were just a bit fussy though rather than having genuine food issues.

I have an incredibly fussy eater. She is now genuinely going hungry instead of eating what's put in front of her. We've tried making accommodations to be as close to her food groups as possible but she's really struggling.

She understands we are doing our best, she's a teenager so not being petulant for the sake of it and she does try to eat what we give her but it's not working out very well.

Hopefully on our next shopping run I can stock up on her safe foods...and honestly if I can't I'll go to more than one supermarket because she needs food.

Anyone spouting "a child won't starve themselves" is talking shit! Every person is different, for some the difference is that food is a constant battle rather than something to be enjoyed.

Thankfully my other daughter is really getting onto the creative aspect to our meal planning and giving everything a serious try so there's one less worry.

Oh I’ve never once asked my kids what they want to eat! Should I be?

Well, whatever works for your family I guess. We've always treated DS as an equal member of the family and given him a say in what we do and what we eat. We're all foodies and he loves helping with meal planning. Maybe this might not work with less mature children though?

I was convinced this would work too!... until I had a picky eater who just picks 'be hungry'. I was a picky eater who chose not to eat - I was incredibly skinny - never knew what hunger felt like - had no idea what people meant when they said they were hungry - so if I didn't get the foods I liked it didn't matter. Think I was nearly 12 years old before I even recognised the feeling of hunger. I eat everything now.

I never thought mine were spoiled - but actually the youngest used to complain a lot about the food (often before he’d tried it) as he would always prefer something different. He’s largely stopped that. And they both now appreciate getting out of the house and the range of games and toys we have.

While when growing up we ate what was put in front of us that doesn't seem to be the way it is now.
But as all the usual foods are in stock we're eating the same as usual just maybe planning better to minimise trips to the shops. I am using up cupboard staples but they were part of our menu anyway.

Oh I’ve never once asked my kids what they want to eat! Should I be? You didn't want an answer to that question did you 😂and whatever works for you and your family is none of anyone else's business.

Agree. It's been so good for my fussy eating 4 year old. We have all been eating meals together and he's not always been able to have his same old favourites.

I often ask dd what she wants to eat as she is a full on meat eater and im veggie. Tbh life is too short for food battles so whatever works for the family. Dd generally eats like a horse and hasn't stopped during lockdown but i know she hates some foods that i love so i adapt.