Keeping kids at their main home

[unoriginalusernamehere]

Apologies in advance if this subject has been over done, I can't find anything specific on here so I'll try and keep this concise.

I have 2 DSs, aged 9 and 7, their dad aka my exH lives 5 hours drive away in Scotland while we live in England.
I also have a DS aged 4 months with my DH.

There's no formal contact usual arrangement in place for DSs and their dad, it's generally been they see him alternate weekends. It's a bit of another issue that I've never believed they should travel that far on a Friday after school and come back Sunday lunchtime but for now, that's not the issue.

ExH has 2 step children aged 8 and 17 who live with him half the time. These children also live half the time at their own dads. Their own dad has step 4 similar aged step children. Who then also have step siblings.

I do not believe that at the moment my children should be travelling to their father. To me lock down is lock down for health reasons. He sees no issue and says as long as no one has any covid symptoms everything is fine (it's just like a holiday, he's bought a big swimming pool etc). He is also quoting the whole 'the government says it's fine for kids to go between houses'.

To add as a side note, my 4 month old and I spent Christmas in hospital with a virus and it was so, so scary.

I've had an (expensive) in-depth discussion with my solicitor who has advised that as there's no formal contact order in place, it's my discretion as the primary carer whether I believe it's in the boys best interests to travel etc. Solicitor advises if exH believes he should have contact he would have to apply for a court order and at the moment that could take months.

DSs don't want to go, they say they want to stay here until it's safer to travel. ExH says this is me manipulating them etc.

My concerns are the mix of children coming and going between all the households to me is just one big unnecessary melting pot of possible contamination.

I've offered exH unlimited FaceTime, calls etc but he rarely does. My sons have their own iPads with restrictions on which means they can take FaceTime calls and text their dad whenever they want.

So in a nutshell my question to you all is, while legally I believe I am ok to say to my exH that physical travel contact shouldn't take place until the lockdown is lifted or at least the peak is over?

Thanks in advance x

I thought I would update.

Obviously their dad says he has no concerns about the mixture of kids between houses and he says if I stop him from taking them he will apply to court.

What is really messing my head up more is the boys really don't want to go. So either way I end up being the bad one. If I don't send them I'll end up in court with a massive legal bill. If I do send them I honestly believe my sons will lose trust in me.

Let him apply.
You've got very good reasons for what you are doing.
Act in person. You don't need to run up bills. Use all the arguments I've given you. If you are nervous, write out a plan of what you are going to say and what documents/messages you want to refer to. Lots of people act in person these days.

Make sure you are making them available to speak to him on Skype/Zoom/FaceTime daily.
Tell him that as soon as this is all over he can have them for an extended period. Reassure him this is not about limiting his contact, but is about the safety and well-being if quite a large number of people, including your own household and the other household(s) of any other DCs/Step DCs. This is the primary point to get across to the court if it ends up there.

By the time this gets to court the lockdown may well have been relaxed. This will not be treated as urgent.

If he applies, the issue of travelling time and alternate weekends and what is a sensible regime going forward may also be dealt with, killing 2 birds.