To be so frustrated at the supermarket

[MinnieAnonyMouse]

I'm just so fed up. We've been observing lockdown really carefully but going to the supermarket just makes me despair.

DH is a nurse but I work from home so to try and keep delivery slots for those who really need them I go and shop once a week. There are so many people either trying to cheat the system or just ignoring it completely. A shop assistant was periodically shouting that only one person could come in per trolley / household but so many couples / families were there. These people then stood separately, got two trollies and walked round together. I completely understand about single parents etc. but there was a family behind me with both parents and three kids. Why on earth would you drag your kids round? There was also a woman who had apparently arranged to meet a friend or family member - they got out of their cars and queued up together for a good old natter. No thought to distance.

Likewise, the shop has put a one way system in place with arrows but the vast majority seemed to ignore totally, wander where they want and if you were where they wanted to be, no matter, just lean across you rather than wait.

I'm worried about DH given his work and this total lack of thought just makes me so cross.

I know IABU for being angry about something I can do nothing about but AIBU to hope that people would have more bloody sense

@LondonJax Oh God i'm guilty of dithering too! The more you know you need to keep moving smoothly the more you get brain freeze.

My tip (and i know it might seem very obvious and probably everyone is doing it already anyway) is to write your shopping list in very precise order of the shop you're going to and maybe add notes about what to get if something isn't in stock. Alternative meal plans.

When you're sitting at home it's easy to say ''well dur, if there's no mince when you get to the meat aisle just grab some bloody pork chops instead and don't buy spaghetti and do buy potatoes . BUT when i'm in the middle of trying to concentrate on:

• not touching my face,
• not touching products unless i'm buying,
• not going too near anyone,
• reading 2 or 3 lists and sorting substitutes for other people,
• not turning the wrong way up the aisles
• and not backtracking

meal planing on the hoof goes out the window!! One time i came out of Tesco with a right mish mash of food and when i got home DH was like about why i'd not managed a logical shopping trip. (he hasn't been since lock down ....).

YANBU -one person per household is fine. Even if one adult can't drive, one waits in the car while the other shops. It's not hard.

Can you stick to smaller shops? I haven't graced an asda or tesco for nearly 5 weeks now. I always use a small, independent butcher for meat so I am still going there. He has no more than 2 people in the shop at a time. Everyone queues, safely distanced outside. The queue is never very long.

I have also been using our village co op. One way system in place, crosses to show where to queue and generally well stocked. I haven't had to queue outside there although I think they do if it's busy.

Lidl was also good. Not been for a while but when I went, there were only 6 people queuing. Waited about 5 mins. Fully stocked. My mum has been on different days to me and said the same.

Every time I drive past asda it's queued all around the car park.

In even larger towns/cities it must be a bloody nightmare. YANBU.

Actually where I live in London it’s fine. Loads of small shops so no need to go to a supermarket. The small shops aren’t great at enforcing distance like the big chains but there’s so many of them that if I look in and think it’s too busy to keep my distance I just try another. And of course the number of people passing through these shops each day is far lower than big supermarkets which means fewer hands on the beans!

I think it’s the burbs that have the biggest problems - big populations but all the shopping is at big supermarkets and needs cars.

Felt a bit stressed today because about half the people were wearing masks (not like last time) and made me wonder should I? Also used self check out and took quite a while a lot of items and it was in a position where people had to pass close to me on their way out....won't do that again! Reading pps about staff shouting and regimenting, this store operates one out one in so not too crowded but once in a bit too free and easy. Agree with pp about staff standing round gossiping and staff not great at 2-metering either. Had a good wash when I got home.

Here the shopping hours have reduced again, now 9-3 weekdays, 9-12 sat and closed Sunday. Two were 6am-11pm before and one 24hr.

Now everyone's expected to go during those hours, or get someone else to go with staff doing shelf stacking as well.

It's getting even harder to get things now as well as limited hours.

Not allowed to drive so no way to go anywhere else, no deliveries before and I can spend over an hour going around a one way system in the larger shop due to mobility issues.

My supermarket is marvellous. The staff have got it all incredibly well organised and are always excellent anyway. The customers are remarkably compliant although I gather one or two have been ratbags to the lovely staff. We queued to get in yesterday and then queued nicely for the meat aisle.

I think it would be great if shopping stayed more like it is now than previously.

Sainsbury's, Kiln Lane. Hope someone from mgt sees because your staff and the organisation are exceptional.

I've only been to the supermarket twice since lockdown and quite frankly it's not good for my blood pressure! Why can't people just grab what they need and move on. I stood a distance behind a woman in the fruit and veg aisle the other day waiting for her to get what she wanted and move on so that i could pick up some peppers which were next to where she was standing. After about 2 mins when she hadn't picked up anything I'm afraid i asked her to move - at which point she decided she needed peppers. I also encountered a chap who stood on one side of the aisle to look at things on the other side. I politely asked him to stand one side or the other so that i could get past at a distance. He did so but 3 aisles later he was doing the same thing again. Then there was the woman who kept parking her trolley and walking backwards and forwards in the aisles making it difficult to keep 2m away and the elderly couple who stood at the end of an aisle to wait for a free place at the checkout making it impossible to get around the end of the aisle and up the next one ( although in fairness to them no one had actually told them that you had to queue for the tills in the last aisle only). I was losing the will to live by the time i got out of there and won't be in a hurry to go back.

Re the dithering. I’m finding that the supermarkets are still quite poorly stocked where I am so I’m having to think of and look for alternatives as I shop so it’s taking twice as long, and the longer it takes the more panicky I get and the more my mind goes blank.
Taking a list of what I want to get is pretty hopeless, my till receipt compared to it usually reads like a list of really odd home delivery substitutions.

I mentioned earlier that I’d been to the Co-op yesterday, but that was following an unsuccessful walk to a little Tesco Express where there was no fruit and veg apart from a few sorry looking bags of kale, no milk, butter or cheese, very little in the way of meat products and no bread, just pancakes on the bakery section.

I've had to go to a couple of our local supermarkets I've the last couple of weeks, Asda was an absolute nightmare- letting everyone in, I saw a family of 6 and then a family of 7, both 2 parents and the rest kids with only one trolley- lots of couple and couples with a kid. Lady on the checkout said it depends which security guard is on whether they let them in or not.

Tesco on the other hand were so efficient yesterday, constantly moving stream of one in one out and one que at the far end of the shop which led to all checkouts, enough staff on hand to organise it properly and it was fast. Not many groups, in fact I don't think I saw any so I'm assuming they had rules in place.

@Madein1995 I had no idea it wasn’t law. I always strap the 3 year old in the buggy when we go round a shop now to keep her from getting too close. It was a local Sainsburys. I didn’t want to be “that person” but my pleas of “but he’s disabled” fell on deaf ears with the security guard.

Babs1937. You absolutely don't need to go shopping as a couple. Two people shopping at once should be absolutely as last resort and one should wait outside of at all possible.

More people than necessary going shopping puts supermarket staff at risk.

We are lucky enough that I can WFH. OH is a supply teacher and doesn't get paid. I have stayed home with the DC and OH has done 100% of the shopping. He gets stuff for two neighbours and his uncle too. We limit visits to once per week.

Got to love all this moaning about supermarkets and staff lately but most of you forgot these workers are putting there lives at risk so you can get food etc.
We dont want all these people in the store at once and we tell people to keep there distance. We get abused daily and people still moan.

Customers don't see how stressed we are or staff crying in the staff room. How about thanking staff members not moaning. We could easily go on strike and then no one gets any food.

Femail, I've already said this isn't a rant about staff, most of whom are doing the best they can. It's a rant about the general public who cannot seem to follow the rules

I tried it the first week and could only manage two lots of shopping.

So send your husband. He seems to be managing the shopping for all the elderly neighbours and in laws.

Trying to keep things separate is not easy but hey ho I'm doing my best.

Bags for life. The ones that cost about £1. Open them up and set them in the trolley. Should be able to fit 3 or 4. And one on the trolley hook if necessary. Each bag is for a different persons shopping. You said before you and your DH had a basket each for all of the shopping so a trolley should be more than enough.

There really is no excuse for you both to be there.

I'm making a point to some of the posters who are moaning about it

I have managed to get a delivery slot with Tesco. I've ordered what I'll need at the time: turkey, stuffing, mince pies, brandy butter and cranberry sauce.

Moonmelodies literally rolling my eyes at the suggestion supermarkets should be open 24 hours.It is unnecessary at the best of times especially now. You do know why they are shutting early right? It's to clean and restock the store. Perhaps they shouldn't bother!

femail

Tough. Staff don't get to ignore the rules about distancing whilst mocking me for putting their lives at risk whilst they are putting mine at risk, multiple times.

Some who are meant to be shielding can't. Some of us need food and have zero help, no deliveries, nothing. So must go get it and be subject to staff thinking because they get to complain about being front line it's ok to ignore the rules and put my life in danger. I've been told I won't get a ventilator. I've lost my medical treatment and am being left to die anyway. I'm supposed to be shielding but can't. I very much doubt someone fit enough to work in a supermarket has been told the same thing.

I should not be manipulated because I'm already struggling with MH as well into brushing past a member of staff who mocked me for asking them to move, yet moved for the man behind me, and, moved by brushing past me again mocking me for having a panic attack.

Nor should I be forced to walk past four staff members standing close together having a go about being "forced to open". Now should I have staff leaning over me to access shelves.

It's not difficult.

2m from another person. Any other person.

Your shop doesn't have 2m between shelves? YOU MOVE OUT OF THAT SECTION.

They should do it automatically, instead they stand in groups together whining about "risk".

Yes I've complained and will continue to.

Before times were so limited I could go at quiet times and more safely get food. Now I can't.

It's interesting in our local village everyone is v. well behaved, waiting patiently at tiny co-op, butchers and bakers attempting to shop local to keep businesses going, v. dependent on tourist trade normally. Big Tesco in the nearest city everyone queues properly but not following rules inside.

I wonder if there's an anonymity in the bigger places that encourages people to let out their inner wazzock?

denty I'm sorry that happened to you. It certainly isn't law or even the rules in various brands (supermarkets can of course set their own rules but it seems very inconsistent). It sounds very ignorant of the security guard I have to say and I doubt its actually a policy in sainsburys. More like he's got his wires crossed. Guaranteed if you'd asked to see a manager things might have gone differently although it's not easy to do that at the time.

I'd ignore people saying send your son in etx. You did nothing wrong. The shop did, and you've no reason to change your behaviour. You might have better luck in a superstore. Alternatively I know tesco, asda and waitrose aren't doing this nonsense

becca you're right. Let's not get drawn into the trap that supermarket workers are doing their job purely to keep the country in food. They're doing it for a wage, in a job they chose to do. I worked in a supermarket so I know all about shitty customers. As a customer Ive also encountered, particularly recently, judginess from staff on fb about contents of trolleys, calls to ban all kids from supermarkets and the chatting to their mates in aisles is a big one. Or taking their sweet time unpacking a cage. Are we meant to wait while they unpack their cage ever so slowly, could they not move to let us through?

I'm sorry that supermarket workers get abused, and that isn't right. Although that happens anyway, which again doesn't make it right. Remember that people could be shopping for big families so 2 packs of bacon prob won't be enough for a week, and with job loss and financial security in the balance they might well have frayed nerves and snap. Human nature.

I think the main issue is certain people making their own rules up. Like security not allowing children in the store and behaving in a disablist manner. Like shop workers sneering at people on fb for buying wine and chocolate or taking photos with a caption 'hardly essential'. Or posting on fb how they hate customers and we need a proper lockdown and army on the streets. Or decreeing that anyone out for more than half hour deserves all the punishment imaginable. Its also brought out the martyrs in some many people. Interestingly its neve nurses or drs I see posting rants and swearing and messages of hatred. They seem able to conduct themselves like adults

That sounds so stressful. In the small supermarket I use people were all observing the rules. The corner shop tho I've stopped using, as everyone ignores the 2m, pays cash & are being way more chatty than normal, as being London, usually they don't even make eye contact :leaning over the counter to show the staff pictures etc of their 'genius' lockdown activity or a 'good film to watch in lockdown' etc. (honestly gobsmacked that she let them, one couple were literally 3 inches away from her face showing her this great clip & all were unmasked ).

Our local Waitrose has been brilliant. Staff on the door, disinfected trollies handed out, one in one out, mostly sensible people keeping to the rules. Always a few you have to dodge, wandering about like they’ve forgotten what’s going on.

I was behind what was clearly a couple as I was queuing to get in. They were having a conversation about the plants on display. He picked one up and looked at and then put it back. The queue moved on and she picked up the same pot and then went to put it back. I piped up at this point and said maybe you ought to have that one seeing as you’ve both touched it. She said oh yes and put it in her trolley. I heard the husband mumble that he’d forgotten not to touch things. 🙄

I went to my local Tesco extra and was surprised that the whole shop including the clothes part was open and not just the food part. There were people browsing the clothes and home wares.

Oohnicevase

Yes your well within your rights to ask them to step back from you. I work in a store and ask people to step back specially when they like to get in your face to ask a question