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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For telling dp about friend who works for him she is leaving then find out i have called her bluff? Long

43 replies

IcingOnTheCake · 13/09/2007 12:24

I used to work along side this girl in my dp's bakery doing shop work; serving etc until i left to have dd. We have always had one of those on/off friendships because she can be quite moody at times and she has been saying for the past two years now that she is leaving and getting another job and seems to think if she leaves the whole place will close down. I know she doesn't like the job but stays because it's quite good pay,good holidays,bank holidays off and Mon-Fri. She doesn't like my dp either and your probably thinking what i am, why not just leave if your that unhappy?

Yesterday i had a txt from her saying she was handing in her notice on Friday to which i replied 'why are you telling me?' (because i am the bosses fiance). She got the arse and said 'fuck you then' blah blah blah.

I got worried then because dp has booked and payed for a 3 day trip to Paris for us in two weeks meaning if she hands in her notice on Friday she would leave next Friday. So if she did hand her notice in this would mean we wouldn't be able to go because he would be either training a new member of staff or i would be working to cover. I did explain this but i got a reply of 'i aint changing my life plans for no one.' So i had to tell my dp what she told me because i didn't want him to lose his money for the Paris trip. I wouldn't expect her to say no to job so i could go on a trip but her 'i aint changing my life plans' response was nasty and spiteful.

That is the only reason i told him, i didn't do it for the sake of it. Anyway so i told her that i had to tell him because of the trip and she has completly gone mad about it saying i can't call myself a friend etc and she then said she probably won't take the job she has applyed for because it is less money

So AIBU for telling him for the reason given? Or is she just very angry because i called her bluff? What do you think?

OP posts:
prettybird · 13/09/2007 12:28

YANBU - and yes, she is just angry becaseu you called her bluff.

She knows your relationship with her dp and she must have known you wold have to tell him.

She doesn't sound much of a friend and you are well rid.

LoveMyGirls · 13/09/2007 12:29

I think he should sack her. I don't know about the legalities of it so he would have to find out but her attitude is disgusting and i wouldn't want someone like her working me esp not in chagre while i was off. She sounds like a piece of work though so he will have to get a concrete reason to sack her.

NAB3 · 13/09/2007 12:30

Go on your break and then give her notice when you get back.

fishiapankhurst · 13/09/2007 12:30

how peculiar that she seems to expect you to put her before your dp. i love your name now i know the context!

tissy · 13/09/2007 12:30

Unless she specified that her text was confidential, she couldn't really expect you to keep it from your fiance, her boss...

Tortington · 13/09/2007 12:30

if your dp - is a long term dp then he outranks her fuckwitted selfish friendship anyway - shes a fucking tossbag

lornaloo · 13/09/2007 12:30

She sounds like a complete idiot imo. Of course your going to tell your fiance. How ridiculous of her to expect you to hide it from him. Seems like very odd behaviour to me. What did she want you to do? Have a laugh behind your dps back knowing she's leaving and he doesn't know yet. Crazy woman.

Original poster
IcingOnTheCake · 13/09/2007 12:31

When my and dp got engaged in May she was so nasty saying 'i was only in it for the money' That was so hurtful and not true.

OP posts:
GoodGollyMissMolly · 13/09/2007 12:31

Sounds like your DP would be better off without her. Tell him and re book the Paris trip for a couple of weeks after.

She sounds very spitefull, what did she think, that you wouldn't tell your DP

She not much of a friend.

Enjoy Paris

TotalChaos · 13/09/2007 12:32

No. YANBU. She went out of her way to stir by texting you like that. Maybe she hoped that dp would say - oh my god, how can you leave, have an instant pay rise...

tiredemma · 13/09/2007 12:32

she sounds like a twat

beansprout · 13/09/2007 12:32

Unless she has told you in confidence, YANBU. Where does she think your loyalties are going to lay?!!

lornaloo · 13/09/2007 12:32

Are you sure she isnt after your dp? Sounds like a case of the green eyed monster to me.

RosaLuxembourg · 13/09/2007 12:34

She sounds awful.
However, summarily sacking her is likely to lead to tribunal case and a whopping payout. Sacking her as a friend is definitely called for however.

Original poster
IcingOnTheCake · 13/09/2007 12:35

She said she told me 'as a mate' and told her the only times she ever txts me is to tell me a)she is leavin b)how much she hates my dp or c)how much she hates the shop (bakery).

OP posts:
lornaloo · 13/09/2007 12:38

Just ignore her from now on. You don't need her, she sounds incredibly irritating.

LoveMyGirls · 13/09/2007 12:40

How often do you see her?

Original poster
IcingOnTheCake · 13/09/2007 12:41

If i go down to the bakery then i see her. Other than that i don't.

OP posts:
madamez · 13/09/2007 12:42

Yes, ignore the silly bitch. She seems to be behaving like this purely to wind you up (and may well be jealous of your relationship with your DP). WHat, by the way does your DP thnk of her as an employee (quite aside from her consta moanng to you, which is not really what one expects from a loyal staff member anyway).

Original poster
IcingOnTheCake · 13/09/2007 12:44

Dp could sack her easily because she mouths him off all the time and tells him to fuck off. If he asked her to do something she she whines 'whhhyyyy?' and say 'i don't wanna do that' etc. She is a complete bitch when i think about it. I think dp is scared to sack her because he always ends up with nutters coming for the interviews when he needs to replace someone! Anyone want a job

OP posts:
Original poster
IcingOnTheCake · 13/09/2007 12:46

She is 23 by the way.

OP posts:
fishiapankhurst · 13/09/2007 12:47

go to paris, sack her when get back. hard for replacement to be worse.

Original poster
IcingOnTheCake · 13/09/2007 12:50

She gives young girls a bad name. This is why employers don't wanna employ young girls because they think they are all like her!

OP posts:
Carmenere · 13/09/2007 12:51

So she is rude, disloyal, bitchy, lazy and constantly threatens to leave. She is having a laugh at your dp I'm afraid

And without being rude, it is a fairly low-skill job, serving in a bakery, isn't it?
There are plenty of decent hardworking people who would like that job.
Go to Paris, give her notice when you come back. And ignore any further texts.

Lorayn · 13/09/2007 12:57

ugh, If my so-called friend was going to mess my DP's business around then of course I would tell him, sod her.
YANBU