To ask posters who have done drugs

[WaterOffADucksCrack]

What they will tell/have told their children when they reach/reached the age when they're curious?

Mine aren't anywhere near that age yet but I'm curious because they will ask about it one day. My dad told me he'd done cannibas for around a year. He had fun tines but that it made him so lazy that he stopped as he was in college.

My story is different, I've tried all drugs. Ended up with a ketamine addiction. However with something like cannabis I'm more leaning towards telling the children of the good and the bad as I believe being ridiculously against is as bad as being ridiculously for it. Thanks.

DS is 11, autistic, and about to go to secondary.
I've told him about alcohol and drunkenness and how while it can be a bit fun, there's hangovers but more importantly it impairs your judgement (so you might get run over) and the judgement of the people drinking with you (so they might think it's a great idea to shave your eyebrows off when you fall asleep - that was the best example I could think of, because I didn't want to suggest sexual or other assault). He's well aware that me and Dad used to drink a fair bit together but not since we had kids.to.look after, because.the booze shelves full of whisky and liqueurs are dusty now, they're touched so infrequently.

Got into discussing other drugs thanks to Pratchett and the trolls getting addicted to 'slab', and tried to explain how people try them either just for fun, or because they aren't happy and hope the drug will make them feel happy. And that if drugs were legal and you knew what was in them, a bit of cannabis or E might be ok, but as they are currently illegal, they may have all sorts of toxic stuff in them or be unexpectedly strong and could be really bad, eg strong cannabis making you paranoid.

I suggested that if friends at school are using cannabis or other drugs, it may be time to focus on other friends.

We shall see. I'm not sure there's ever a time to talk about people I knew dying, but examples of ones self-medicating for bipolar or anxiety abound in the family, including one suicide which will have to be mentioned at some point.

I come from an ambitious family. I was clever. My parents primed me for success and overachievement. My life was work, work, work, comply, comply comply from an early age

I was a child of the sixties and our parents had gone through the depression, a world war and rationing. They were understandably materialist and we equally understandably rebelled against that.

I fully expect my children to experiment but would be horrified too

It is not inevitable that they will experiment, but we have to arm them so that, if they do, they know what they are getting into.

So I do think children need some spirituality in their lives, not just a work ethic, which is good, and being surrounded by acquisitiveness. If we don't give them some sense of life being much more than the material, we risk them taking drugs as a false door to another dimension.

I will be honest
I had some great times, some not so great but overall the good outweighed the bad. Im happy to tell her the good, bad and ugly of the scene
Id hope if she looking to try she will have the confidence and trust in me to tell me knowing i wont judge.

Like anything else I'll probably decide what to mention or disclose as and when it's required. If I'm in a situation when kid is thinking of this stuff and it's important to disclose that I understand (or why I understand) then I might. Otherwise no, I won't mention any of it. If they ever ask me directly I'll give an honest answer but temper the detail accordingly.

It'll be driven more by importance of delivering credible opinion or commentary rather than a need to divulge my own experiences, if that makes sense.

I understand why you're thinking of it though. It's a funny one. Finding that parenting balance.

My DS is 23. I told him. I didn't want to be a liar or a hypocrite and the "just say no" messages is completely ineffective anyway! I told him what I had done and explained my experience. We also went through all the risks and benefits.

1. Keep it legal - there are plenty of places you can sample drugs legally, there’s no need to take any risks.

1. Source ethically. By and large the drug trade is cruel and provides a very variable quality of product.

1. It’s really not worth it ime. Either I’m better at achieving my brains full potential than other people or my brain has less potential than most people but one way or the other I’ve never experienced anything on drugs that can’t be achieved through a bit of mental contortion. Mind you I’ve never tried LSD/a lot of things so maybe it’s just that the less hardcore drugs like weed etc are just not very potent.

I went clubbing a lot when I was at uni and did most of the stuff that came with it. Had a great time but wouldn't ever go back to it. Used to make me feel so awful the week after. I don't think I could ever tell my kids about everything I did. I knew some one who was left permanently schizophrenic after taking weed and acid so that might be a good warning story. Also know several people who didn't finish their degrees and one or two with severe depression which I'm pretty sure was triggered by drug use.

Difficult one OP. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer. My dd is 14 and I don't plan on telling her about my 5 years of heroin addiction in my early 20's, or my addiction to codeine in later years. She would be worried sick. It would become a burden for her to bear.
We've always openly discussed the physical and mental effects of any/all drugs, the problems of long-term addiction, and why people might want to do it anyway.
Nobody drinks in our house, I don't smoke at all, but dh smokes cannabis, dd is aware and just finds it vaguely distasteful. She has a grandma with a chronic pain condition who bakes herself cannabis casseroles, she is OK with that. I think it's a the act of tobacco smoking she's more horrified by!

We're honestly totally winging it and doing what we think is right, time will tell.

My dh is in recovery. Cocaine addiction along with weed. He went to rehab and goes to NA meetings 3/4 evenings a week. He is now very successful and owner of a large business. Our children (3 & 6 months) will br told the truth as he doesnt feel there will be any good in hiding his past. The 3 year old knows daddy goes to meetings obviously not sure why but would be pretty hard to hide when children are older. & why should he hes done very well and im very proud

I don't have children.

Drugs were always discussed quite openly, in a sense of we'd rather you didn't, but we accept that you may dabble. My dad has never touched a drug in his life. My mum experimented a little. My older siblings experimented more.

As a result, I was always mindful of the safest ways of dabbling whenever I chose to.

I'd take the same approach if I had kids.

I think it's important to explain how drugs have changed since our younger years too.

I think it's important to explain how drugs have changed since our younger years too.

I dunno, to me that to me would come off as it was OK I'm my day.

I know what you mean though. When I stopped taking pills they had got shit. Cut up will all that "legal high" shit. You couldn't get a pill with a proper (if any) dose of mdma for love nor money. Even the so called Mdma powder was cut with all sorts of crap.

I'm not a weed smoker but I heard that's mixed with weird chemicals too now. Not to mention that spice stuff.

Keep it legal - there are plenty of places you can sample drugs legally, there’s no need to take any risks.

What? Where?

I think how honest you are probably depends on your personal experience.

I wouldn't be honest about my drug use, because I was one of the people that took it too far and couldn't keep my use just to the weekends/nightclubs. My dhs experience however is probably a good example. He took pills for a year, basically threw that year of his life away to getting high and clubbing, and not that it harmed his future career and he was only 18
Then OD and never took them again out of fear.

@Daisychainsandglitter
I dabbled recreationally as a teen. Would have been a a lot better if we'd been able to dabble professionally . Getting paid would have been the icing on the cake. Great word..dabbled.

2 or 3 grams a day? Thats a hell of a lot actually. I hope you're on a better track now and I hope you dont have any long standing health issues because of it.

3 grams a day of ketamine? And you worked?

Absolutely fucking bollocks.

Legal doesn't mean safe, far from it. It just means it isn't under control. Spice used to be legal.

When I say about changes in drugs I meant more in relation to things like some drugs being much stronger now than they were - like cannabis as an example as solid resin is nothing like the strength of the bud smoked today.

And things like pills back in the day were more of a happy trippy sort of drug vs the more commonly used coke today, which has a very different effect.

It isn't about saying it was OK for us but not for them, it's about explaining what's changed that elevates risk.

Im realtively open about cannabis use, but I dont really want to talk to them about the other stuff, unless I thought that there was a real need to divulge. I certainly dont want to glamorise it or normalise it.
Ive talked to my nephew about it, because when I was discussing some of the bad stuff and shit people he was hanging around with, I wanted him to know that I wasnt moralising about taking drugs, but that even amongst drug users and circles, there is shit you just dont want to get involved with, and stuff thats not as bad, and that I wasnt telling him that he needed to be a bloody saint, but that it was one thing smoking a bit of weed, or taking the occasional E, and still holding down a job or leading a relatively normal life, and another thing entirely to be hanging around with people who were on crack or smack.

Yes, I react badly to bloody everything.. almost, seriously I can’t even hack codeine without feeling grim and dizzy. But I was a big ballsy teen, who developed a seizure disorder, cptsd and seriously cannot remember 14-18.. and 19-22 is patchy. If I could go back I don’t think I’d touch as much as a menthol cigarette.

I also lost my dad to the long term affects of addiction. And witnessed the strangest ever reaction to weed, ex developed Cyclic vomiting syndrome that lasted months any time he touched it..

Obviously not everything was bad but I can’t ever remember being told why drugs were bad.. just they were and that was that, coming from my dm who barely drinks so it never meant much.

Hell no would I tell my kids. They don't need to know mummy was a hardcore raver from Thursday - Sunday 🙈

I would be honest about drugs in general but never let them know how much/what I took.

@DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou sorry i worked at the beginning of my addiction and it progressed because I enjoyed the disassociative feeling as it stopped me having flashbacks to all the rapes. I wasn't clear but don't let that stop you being a twat!

@ForbiddenFromNaples thank you. I'm 5.5 years clean. Really happy now and have a family and a career!

@WaterOffADucksCrack well done for sorting your life out and finally being happy.

I’m Gen X and drugs were a massive part of my teens/twenties. I still have lots of successful friends who indulge on night out and I’m not anti drugs, but I’m not for them either.

And yes, I’d rather my kids didn’t take them. They are risky and not knowing what you’re putting in to your body is dangerous.they also make you more vulnerable on a night out and lower inhibitions.

I’ll borrow a story my friend used to talk to his kids. It really resonated with me.

He said that when you start taking drugs you will have the best night of your life, you’ll dance and laugh and everything will be beautiful. But once you’ve opened that door you can’t go back. Soon you’ll be taking them every time you go out and the highs won’t be as high, but the lows will be lower and before long you won’t consider going out for a night out without drugs.

Then I’ll point out how utterly stupid most people taking drugs look and show them YouTube videos of pilled up ravers (making sure I’m not in any of the shots ) And just tell them to be careful and I’ll love them whatever they do.