To ask posters who have done drugs

[WaterOffADucksCrack]

What they will tell/have told their children when they reach/reached the age when they're curious?

Mine aren't anywhere near that age yet but I'm curious because they will ask about it one day. My dad told me he'd done cannibas for around a year. He had fun tines but that it made him so lazy that he stopped as he was in college.

My story is different, I've tried all drugs. Ended up with a ketamine addiction. However with something like cannabis I'm more leaning towards telling the children of the good and the bad as I believe being ridiculously against is as bad as being ridiculously for it. Thanks.

I dabbled and never had a bad experience. Maybe MDMA five big nights a year when at uni, went down to one or two times a year after graduating. Couldn’t handle the comedowns unless I wasn’t working for a few days after! Haven’t for a few years and now I’m pregnant with DC1 can’t imagine I will again for the foreseeable (although I’m not adverse to the idea of a bit of a rave at a festival in my 50s once DC are independent!)

I certainly wouldn’t brag or glamourise but I wouldn’t lie. I like the idea of being able to be age-appropriately open with my DC. One of my friends got into some (non-drugs) trouble when at uni and didn’t tell her parents as she felt they wouldn’t approve, the outcome was far worse than if she’d bitten the bullet and told them sooner.

That said I’m only pregnant with my first so I’m aware my thoughts on this are probably a bit irrelevant and I should be asked again in 15 years!

I have teens and an 18 year old and they have never asked me directly about drugs.

Suspect that is because they already know where you fall on the scale, I am 100% certain my dad used drugs in his youth in the same way I’m almost certain my mum hasn’t ever touched anything stronger than a menthol cigarette - you can communicate a lot without actually coming out and stating it either way

I only really dabbled with cannabis and not regularly,my dh however had addiction problems in the past I would like to think it would help.in him spotting any drug misuse he knows the small tell tale signs that might not be immediately apparent to others .

general discussions round the supper table

You have a table specifically for eating supper

Cannabis made me paranoid, jumpy and feel sick. Im convinced most people actually feel like this with it but wont admit it.

Ketamine seems to be huge among younger middle class types these days, snuck under the radar.

I did a lot but not until my 20s. I will tell my teenagers not to go near. I took so many insane risks and I never want them to be in that position.

Like others, I've introduced discussion about it when it's come up on the news or talking about people around us - we have a few neighbours who spend a lot of time stoned so obviously we can smell it and also a friend's son has gone down the dropout route after getting into weed. In a way I guess although I'd rather they didn't have to think about it, at least with these concrete examples of how toking can really impact on your life they'll be less likely to listen to the "oh yah it's not harmful" crew.

As for my own experiences, not a chance in hell of discussing these with them, same as I wouldn't tell them about my sex life either past or present. These are adult personal matters and they don't need to know about me on an adult personal level. I'd also be worried that they'd look at me and think "oh well she's ok now so how bad can it be?" when actually I did some really stupid and dangerous things that I don't want them to do.

Thanks everyone. I know I don't need to think about it yet but I just wondered what others have done. Some interesting perspectives so thank you all!

I dabbled recreationally as a teen. I was always enjoyed the feeling of being drunk much more than drugs but I dabbled mostly in cannabis, E, speed and mushrooms. I also tried coke and ketamine on a couple of occasions but neither floated my boat to be honest.
Although I wasn't really into drugs and could very much take them or leave them, there were others around me who became very reliant on them.
I remember a girl in the year below dying from E when I was about 17 which brought the dangers close to home.
I've also seen people close to me become addicted to coke and it turn into ppl unable to have a good night unless they've had some.
I think I would be open with my DD's when the time comes and they ask but hope that with the benefit of age and hindsight that I could be non judgmental and that they could be honest about drug use with me.
I really loved that time of my life although I wouldn't want to go back there again!

When the kids were little we had a pact to basically lie about our drug use when they were older. Didn't last! Ended up being honest (they are late teens) and glad we were as able to properly discuss the downsides without sounding like a hysterical Daily Mail reader. As far as I know, and what they tell me, they've not done anything more than weed (I know, I know, teenagers lie too).

@PositiveVibez

Kitchen table but it usually happens at supper time which is what we call the evening meal. Both DH and I were brought up with that terminology.

Mine are teens and I've told them I smoked weed once and it made me very sick.

Not told them that I used to get off my knockers on speed at Gatecrasher and Ministry of Sound and Hard Times every weekend and mostly loved it. Havent done it since I was 19 and no desire to tell them unless they specifically asked and even then I would lie and say it was shit.

I'm prett open with my eldest about my cannabis use. We talk about it in the same way we talk about alcohol. Its legal where i live so much more open & no stigma around using it. we pass at least 4 cannabis stores on the drive to school. I talk about use in moderation, being safe not driving after consuming, not putting herself in a dangerous situation . I also grow my own so the mystique is not there for her. I hope when the day comes & she decides to try it she will talk to me first.

It's a good question OP and I've often thought the same as I, like you, tried most drugs I can think of when I was a teen. I ended up being quite bad on Mephedrone at one point.

Honestly I don't know what I'll tell my kids. The truth is I had some really fun times on various things and then some real horrible ones. I also knew someone that died from taking a dodgy pill on a night out, that's what eventually stopped me, the fear. You hear about it on the news but having it happen to someone you actually know, that really scared me.

So I guess I'll probably tell them the truth. And I'll tell them that they can come and talk to me no matter what but that in my experience the heavy stuff just isn't worth it.

I fully intend to lie and have told DH to do the same (assuming our DC ever ask!). I don't want them knowing until they're at least 25.

Yes, I hate to lie and be a hypocrite, it doesn't sit right with me. But apparently it's the recommended thing to do.

Pretty much every teen sees their parents as ancient and square. Whatever they did was obviously fine, safe, normal, even a bit staid and boring. Your parents' drug use is a baseline of normality.

You say "I did x and had a bad experience; I wouldn't recommend it." They hear "I did x."

I didn't do many drugs myself. I found out later on that my mum had habitually used a drug I'd never tried. If I'd known that when I was younger, I'd have assumed that drug was ok for sure. And I'd have used it too.

Yes, hypocrisy is bad but I think there are times when you have to take an executive decision.

I don't mean that I would go round telling them that if you ever try any drugs then you will instantly be an addict and die. I would be realistic and refer them to Frank. But I wouldn't tell them anything about my own use.

Never touched it. My 10 yr old has already been told drugs are for common chavs and they kill u and u end up with no job on streets looking like an idiot. Sorry but that's just me and what I've said

All the people openly saying they have done drugs what is your line of work? I went from school to college to uni and I'm a specialist nurse drugs never took my fancy.

All the people openly saying they have done drugs what is your line of work?

I'm a solicitor.

drugs are for common chavs and they kill u and u end up with no job on streets looking like an idiot

Your ten year old will realise one day that this literally a load of shit. I understand that some people who take drugs end up with no jobs, on the streets, or looking like an idiot. But it's certainly not all, not by a long stretch.

I've not done a single drug since I was about 18 but I can tell you, I've found it's absolutely rife in my line of work. Managing partners of law firms doing lines of coke on work night out doesn't even warrant a second glance half the time unfortunately! (And I'm not saying that's a good thing!).

I personally think its disgusting and a waste of money that can and does kill ppl. Cocaine and alcohol makes you more likely to commit suicide. Again my choice. If she comes to me with questions saying it doesnt kill you. I'll look at articles with her and also festival deaths from drugs. Discusting habit

i simply told my kid that my own experiences weren’t up for dissection or discussion. that i’ve smoked weed, and that i once did acid and had a very, very bad time.

i’ve said to them that the rule is ‘no powders, no pills’ because you can never guarantee what you’re taking. and to never, ever buy drugs at a festival.

i don’t intend to talk her through the mid-90s weekend by weekend!

All the people openly saying they have done drugs what is your line of work?
I run my own business helping peolpe relocate from overseas- mostly the UK
My husband is a Emt (paramedic)
We are certainly not chav losers

Healthy, I agree with you. It's not a good habit, it does kill people, it is a waste of money and it's not something to be proud of. I'm not disputing that.

What I'm saying is your daughter will one day realise that it's not just 'common chavs' as you say, that take drugs, or people who have no jobs and live on the streets.

It would be far more beneficial imo, to not lie to your children about them but actually discuss them properly (perhaps when they are older, I don't see the need to discuss drugs with a 10 year old personally, not in any depth anyway).

So your paramedic husband is doing drugs and driving ambulances and helping people?

DP and I are were discussing this a few weeks ago, he is adamant he will never tell, I'm kind of the opposite. Not in a bragging rights way at all, but I remember how pshe in our school was very preachy and led by our RE teacher who got very annoyed when one of my fellow pupils asked how he would know that cannabis and E were bad as he clearly had never taken of either.

DD had science homework on drugs both legal and illegal. She hates science so I usually help where I can or she doesn't even attempt it. She knows I'm not particularly great at science either.
Yet when I helped with this specific homework, she got 100%
Much side eye and "how would you know, you were a dork at school" was said. I just said, well there's lots you seem to think you know so I shall leave you to it.

I'm not proud of it but it happened, I had friends who didn't know when to stop who died and I know I'm lucky I stopped when I did. I never got onto the scarier drugs like they did. Some are still a mess now. I would rather DD and DS gear that as a balanced perspective.