to expect my friend's children to day 'please' and 'thankyou?'
andlipsticktoo · 13/09/2007 11:32
In order to not feel like a slave, I have always thought it important that my children say 'please' and 'thankyou', not only to me but to others. Obviously I would be lying if I said they did this 100% of the time without prompting, but the intension is there. My friend, who is great fun and I get onl very well with, has 3 children and none of them ever say please or thankyou, and she never prompts them.
I find it very irritating and now prompt them myself. Is that unreasonable??
chloesmumtoo · 13/09/2007 11:41
Although I like my children to be well behaved and which they are, I have to admit I do not prompt them constantly over please and thankyou at home. I have a friend that does. I disagree alot with certain aspects of her parenting and yet she is very strict on this. Its lovely to hear a polite child I admit. I definately tell my own to say thankyou to things they recieve off grandparents relatives ect and they are very well behaved in school but I am relaxed at home and perhaps dont see the need because I am happy with their behaviour. I think each to their own but I would find it annoying if someone else prompted my children when or if I didnt think it was totally necessary. But well done you, I think nice children are rare these days!
HonoriaGlossop · 13/09/2007 11:43
How old are the kids?
With ds I did occasionally prompt him, but not THAT much. I just said it myself and he has learnt from that. No training required, really.
Does your friend say please and thankyou herself? They will be picking that up eventually. Do not despair!
lailasmum · 13/09/2007 13:00
I think if they seem grateful and are pleasant children then let it slip but always say it in front of them. My daughter is odd on this one, some days she will say it with out prompting in a totally consistent way, some days not and I have to prompt her. I remember my friend prompting my daughter once when she forgot but she did it in such a rude & sarcastic way it was actually a horrible situation.
andlipsticktoo · 13/09/2007 13:03
The oldest 2 of hers are 9 and 5 and it's more the way they say "i wanna drink" then "I wanna drink now", then,"stop talking and get me a drink!"
I do mostly let it go but have just started saying, "sorry, x, I was having a conversation with your mother, did you say 'can I have a drink please?'"
It is usually followed with, "I didn't want apple juice, I wanted orange."
Don't get the impression that mine are angels, but I do wish my friend would say something!
LilRedWG · 13/09/2007 13:07
Actually, I do do the same as LoveAngel and prompt for a please or thank you. DH's Goddaughter just looks at you blankly, so we give her what she's asked for, but always say pardon a couple of times first. Her parents will occassionally pick up on this (not very often though ) and tell her to mind her manners
Chattyhan · 13/09/2007 13:09
I think it is fair to prompt them if they are at your house. Or with your DC. I find when DS says it it often prompts other DC. I'm a p/t nanny and i will prompt DC out of habit. If friends DC are at my house and i get them eg. a drink, i expect them to thank me and will prompt them if they don't. However, if someone else had got them the drink i wouldn't prompt anyone but my DC.
I agree that it's an important lesson to learn
lailasmum · 13/09/2007 13:12
I definitely think its rudeness that is more of an issue, if they asked 'can I have', or 'may I have' in a polite way and just forget the please then its not a major crime in my mind as they are thinking that they need to ask, its demands like I want this or that,and just expecting people to jump and do it for them that is unpleasant.
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