to expect my friend's children to day 'please' and 'thankyou?'

[andlipsticktoo]

In order to not feel like a slave, I have always thought it important that my children say 'please' and 'thankyou', not only to me but to others. Obviously I would be lying if I said they did this 100% of the time without prompting, but the intension is there. My friend, who is great fun and I get onl very well with, has 3 children and none of them ever say please or thankyou, and she never prompts them.

I find it very irritating and now prompt them myself. Is that unreasonable??

The other day whilst browsing in local M&S we were waiting to go down an aisle that was a bit narrow & there was a couple looking at something. We just waited until they had finished looking & moved a little before we went down. As they went past us my dd piped up "tank oo" the gentleman looked at my dd with a big smile & said "your quite welcome". My dd is 2 and if she can say thank you without being prompted I dont think a 9 year old has any excuse.

No exscuse for no manners as soon as they can speak.
No manners? then you dont get anything from me!

YANBU

Snap OrmIrian - "I want doesn't get" is what is usually used.

The bad thing about my ds is he says it so automatically (his nursery don't give out biscuits til the children say a version of thankyou (if they can!)) that I prompt him even after he's said it (cos I didnt register it!)

Naughty mummy!

If her kids are in your house, speaking in a way you find inappropriate, I'd say something - a bit like "Sorry - we don't interrupt or demand in my house - we ask nicely, and then we are seen to" or something

Your house, your rules

Agree. I just do the old 'what's the magic word?' trick. Or I cup my ear and say 'Sorry, can you repeat that? I don't think I quite heard you? ' which any child that knows me eventually learns means 'Say please / thank you, you ungrateful wretch!'.