to ask for your silly jokes

[HerRoyalCarbyLess]

for 11 year old DS1. He had a minor heart attack a few days ago. No one knows why, but suspect its related to his floppy valves. (Mitral and aortic regurgitation)
He's home now, but still very weak and tired.
There's nothing we can do other than hope it doesn't happen again. His cardiologist will be in touch to make an appointment once its safe to do so and luckily there doesn't appear to be any lasting damage.

I really want to cheer him up and he loves a silly joke, so hit me with your best.

Joker: "Batman, why have you wrapped my calendar in aluminium?"

Batman "I've foiled your plans!"

What's grey and can't climb trees?

A car park

What did the old pirate say on his birthday?

Aye Matey!

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam!

What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

A Labracadabrador!

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles!

What was the dentist forced to tell when he was being tried in court?
The tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

What did Queen Victoria say when the social services came round, following a complaint?
“We are not abused.”

Which pop group kills all household germs?
The Bleach Boys

Why did the baker have brown hands?
He kneaded a poo.

What’s red and is bad for your teeth?

A brick

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who know binary and those who don't.

A piece of string walks into the bar. The barman says “sorry mate, no way. You’re barred. You have to leave.”

The piece of string leaves, puts on an Inspector Gadget style mac, a hat, sunglasses, a proper disguise. He goes back into the bar and orders a drink. “Come on, I’ve just sent you packing. You’re barred. Get out.”

The piece of string goes out and has a think. He gets rid of the disguise. He does a few loops of himself. He spends a while messing up his hair.

He goes back into the bar and orders a drink. The barman rolls his eyes. “Mate. This is ridiculous. I know you’re that piece of string.”

“No. I’m a frayed knot.”

How many pennies can you put into an empty purse?
1, after that it's not empty

(You may want to update the currency!)

Man goes to the doctor
Man: I've got a giant strawberry on my head
Dr: have you tried putting cream on it?

Horse walks into a bar
Bar,an: why the long face?

Man walks into a bar "ouch,"

How do you fit 4 elephants into a fiat 500 ?
2 in the front and 2 in the back, obvs

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

BAD JOKE ALERT:

I took the shell off my racing snail today as I thought it would go faster.....if anything it's made it more sluggish

Boom!