Kicked my the rat bag DH out during corona

[Brainengaged1]

He cheated on me before the pandemic broke out by visiting a site for people looking for Marital affairs . We tried to work things out , but then corona broke out , and we couldn’t access mediation- so we’re stuck in same house taking about divorce / separation. He says he wanted me back then our house got vandalised, by whom we don’t know . I have just found out that he had just joined another dating site messaging during corona lock down so he can make his moves post corona . This was just three days ago.

I kicked him out yesterday on the ‘discovery day ‘ and the day he told our ds that were were going to go our Separate ways

He is in a vacant property that we have together so no risk to anyone except the unfortunate women who may inherit him

Well done OP. You deserve so much better.

Well done and a strong move be proud

@Balhammom could you clarify why you feel that's inappropriate?

Well done Op .

He has somewhere else to go, so I don't see an issue.

Well done for getting rid!

I've also parted ways this week after a 6 year relationship because he physically pushed me in an argument. Not hard, didn't hurt but crossed a line. He left of his own accord luckily and has gone back to his own home several hundred miles away.

Seems balhammon just looked at the title and then rushed in to post their 2 cents without reading the opening post

Well done, OP. You sound strong.

He cheated on me before the pandemic broke out by visiting a site for people looking for Marital affairs

Genuinely asking here because I think I may be behind the times. But is it truly considered to be cheating if you just visit a website?

I can understand it being called, showing intent to cheat or curiosity and being tempted to cheat, but not cheating.

Well done you. Your life starts today

The only think you have been unfair about, was having an empty house when there are so many homeless people.

The only think you have been unfair about, was having an empty house when there are so many homeless people.

Wise up.

Good for you. Another man thinking with his dick. You did the right thing for sure.

@Hoarder123

Did you pick your username for a reason?

Genuinely asking here because I think I may be behind the times. But is it truly considered to be cheating if you just visit a website?
If the OP finds such conduct unacceptable that it is unacceptable.It doesn't matter what other people call it.

Well done

@PlanDeRaccordement I assumed he'd met up with someone through the site. I could be wrong?

SirGawain, you did not answer my question. I have no issue with the behaviour being unacceptable and a reason to end the marriage. That is the OPs decision/choice entirely.

I am just a bit startled to see the act of visiting a website being called “cheating”. Is that the common view now? If your partner had gone to a dating or affair website, would you call that cheating?

The way I grew up, cheating only refers to having a real life affair with another woman/man.

Depressed indoors....

Yes it could be the case the OPs DH had actually used the website to have an affair, but why did the OP not say that?

I mostly come here to stay fluent in English, so maybe I am too literal and not reading between the lines as expected?

Well done OP. Things would just have got worse had you let him off with this, and as you say - he is putting the entire family at risk, not just himself.

I've also parted ways this week after a 6 year relationship because he physically pushed me in an argument. Not hard, didn't hurt but crossed a line. He left of his own accord luckily and has gone back to his own home several hundred miles away.

Good thing, too - as you say, once that line is crossed, there is no going back. He has gone beyond a limit and the next time will be worse, and the next worse again. And believe me - there WILL be a next time.

Genuinely asking here because I think I may be behind the times. But is it truly considered to be cheating if you just visit a website?

It would knock me sick and break my heart if I discovered DH doing this - so yes, I would consider it cheating.

@Hoarder123
I’m not lady of he manor type having two properties , while people are homeless - what kind of judgement is go on from you please....

We had moved out of our marital home and are renting a property while building works are underway . This was going to be OUR dream home

@PlanDeRaccordement

he was cheating with others on the marital site as I saw text messages about their kissing and other intimate chats , which suggested it had gone further .

Cheating is an infidelity done by deceiving the other person either in an emotional sexual or financial way . Think I fall into all three categories .

How are the kids taking it, OP? I hope you and your kids are ok and get out to enjoy a bit of sunshine.

@totally.

Surprisingly very well . We have just come back from a walk and we were dreaming about which houses we could move to when this is over . I think I it’s healthy to imagine a positive future and for my ds to I shine me gardening in a house that’s I am happy in ,humming to myself .

@Brainengaged1 “We had moved out of our marital home and are renting a property while building works are underway.”
Apologies for getting it wrong.
Your husband doesn’t deserve his family after his behaviour. You were right to kick him out.

We had moved out of our marital home and are renting a property while building works are underway.

Ahh now I understand what you meant when you wrote this bit earlier in the thread.

Yes we are both on property deeds and I can move back in any time I want to , I haven’t forfeited my rights ( got advice before I kicked him out )