I can hear domestic abuse through my walls.

[caradelvigna]

My neighbour is in an abusive relationship. The man who lives there has threatened to kill her and I had to dial 999. They live in flats attached to our house so lots of people coming in and out. The way the flats are set up I can't pinpoint where it's coming from. I wish I could identify her and offer her my support. I'm sick of listening to it and feeling helpless and worrying about her wellbeing. I don't know what else I can do. It's a huge trigger for me having been in an abusive relationship myself. It makes me feel sick and panicky. I report it to 101 when I hear him screaming at her and if I ever hear threats again I will call 999 again. I'm going to report to adult social services tomorrow.

AIBU to ask how I cope with this? I know that sounds incredibly selfish, however I am trying my best to help her by reporting my concerns. I just feel like I am reliving my past abuse and it's starting to get to me. It must be awful for her to be self isolating with him.

If there are any other ways I can help her please let me know however I sadly don't feel that there are.

My dad is fine. First-time it happened he went round there to sort it! Couldn't work out where it was coming from though. Probably for the best!

After my neighbour screaming for help, and myself shouting over the fence to stop it or I would call the police. The incident didn’t stop so I did call 101 and the police. She never spoke to me again, but I don’t regret it. If something had happened to her I would never forgive myself. A person screaming for help cannot be ignored.

IME police are shit at dealing with this sort of thing. Sorry you've had the fallout.

I wish they had just phoned me as the neighbours have probably seen them come to mine. I feel scared now.

The exact same thing happened to my niece. She reported a man abusing his girlfriend in the flat above her and after the police had gone round to them, they knocked on my niece's door! WTH?!

Next time you call stress to the call handler you do not want anyone round and a phone call only. If your that annoyed call 101 and make a complaint, it may have been the CH didnt write it on the log or the PC didn't read the job properly but dont let it stop you calling it in x

Well done for phoning op you did a very decent thing and its a shame the police came to your door after it there was no need for that bit

I called 101 the other day as I happened to stroll past a house with a man shouting at the top of his voice, “I’ll punch the shit out of your face if you fucking ever dare...”. I was in shock. I was just taking my 15 month old for a little walk around the street. I heard no other person or response so presumed he was either threatening a partner or children.

You’re doing the right thing, op. Keep reporting every time you hear something. Even if the police can’t do anything now then it will help her make a case against him in future x

Oh for goodness... Is there a police officer here who explain why they'd want to knock to update the reporter and not call instead?

Agree they shouldn't have come to you, plus it's stupid for corona reasons for them to come in unnecessarily

Bless you OP, you did the right thing. The police were very thoughtless to have made it so obvious you were the person who called, I would be really angry and I think it warrants a complaint.

And also it is a long shot but,give your details to the police and say to pass them on to the victim and say you're there if she needs somewhere to escape to. Its up to her if she would utilise it.

Someone said this up thread and I have no doubt it was very well intentioned but please do not do this, it would be a dangerous way to insert yourself into an obviously volatile situation.

Keep calling the police as and when you hear anything happening, making it clear they are not to come to yours afterwards as it makes you feel vulnerable, but don't offer yourself as an escape route as it's unsafe for you.

Jeez that's awful for knocking on your door

Bloody awful
I remember when police came after I called 101
Awful memory

Op you are doing right but don’t feel bad about trying to block the noise out either