To almost ignore your kids after absence?

[inbloomfornow]

My exh has not seen our children since Friday past.
He chose to spend lockdown with his girlfriend intermittently rather than see the kids as usual... eow and twic weekly for a few hours . He is now unemployed so had hoped he would engage a bit more as it was his work that hindered him from spending more time with the kids by all accounts!
Anyway as she lives away in another city and travels to see him and spend days at his house, I didn't want the kids to spend time there with him due to lockdown restrictions/ cross infection etc . He agreed . He chose her .
He has arrived to our home today to do some basic maintanance . That's not a problem . He is here just under four hours and has hardly acknowledged the kids.
Is this just weird ? Or normal to you???

Why’s he doing maintenance in your house and mixing households?

FFS you all need to stop going to each other's houses. Why is he doing maintenance?!

He shouldn’t be coming into your house to do maintenance, particularly if you’re refusing to send the kids to him

He has arrived to our home today to do some basic maintanance . That's not a problem .

It is.

Nobody understands the bloody rules!!!

No that's really weird. I'm sure the kids feel put out by it.

The kids can’t go to his house but he can spend 4 hours in yours??!!

Honestly give your head a wobble from a pissed of a nakard icu nurse who sees no bloody end to this because some people refuse to follow simple instructions

They do just they just think they're too special to abide by them.

So you'd let him see the kids when hes doing maintenance on your house but not during usual visitation?

Thats some hypocrisy there

How do people still not understand the rules 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yabvu in your refusal to follow simple instructions.

He shouldn't be in your house! How hard is it for people to listen properly?

Also, even thought the advice has been "Children can move between parents" anyone with half a brain cell realises that to reduce the risk, as long as they're safe, they should stay where they are. My ex lives 2 hours away and we agreed about a week before lockdown that the kids would stay where they were (with me) rather than travel until this whole thing blows over. I won't get a break for potentially months and he won't see his kids until who knows when - but we are putting the safety of them first. Couldn't imagine worrying about petty point scoring during this horrendous time when there's so much else to worry about

FFS. He shouldn't be popping round to yours to do some maintenance. Or in and out of his girlfriend's house. People like you are why this virus is still spreading.

The kids not seeing their dad is your fault. You refused visitation because he was visiting his girlfriend....But yet he is at your house now. If ot is ok for him to be at your house then its ok for the kids to be at his house

Sorry I should have been more clear. The home I am living in is our joint home. He is power washing / spraying etc. The kids are inside with me . He is outside . That's was the arrangement . They came to the window to chat to him from distance but he was dismissive and had started power washing etc before they knew he had arrived. He has worked on , hasn't taken a break tonhave a quick chat to them through the window. I find it strange. Sorry for not being more clear in my op .they have no physical contact with him at all. I had arranged for a handyman to come last week to sort out the mess that is the garden and givenot a good once over . Naturally he can't come and Incant afford to wait so as it is both our house and it is overrun with weeds and in disarray , this seemed the best option.

Do you realise that you’re not following the guidelines? Why is he coming to your home? He isn’t part of your household so shouldn’t be there.

Power washing??? Essential travel??? HELLLOOOOO??? Your digging your own grave here

I guess in that case he could be pissed off that you won't let him have the kids but you expect him to come and do jobs for you. Is he usually a sulker?

And again... The details you've given don't constitute essential travel.

He isn't posed off about the kids . He is annoyed that he can't havenot both ways . My kids have not had a single interaction with another person since this all kicked off so I won't be taking a single chance . I asked him what he wanted to do . He said that he wanted her to still travel to see him, which she did for the last few weeks and has her own household and god knows how many other households she has contact with , so I am extra vigilant and did not want my kids compromised just because he couldn't wait a few weeks to see his girlfriend .
He is moody and sulks yes .
There is no essential travel . He lives nearby and has not entered the house .

I know we're having to wash everything but that does not extend to our houses. Power washing is not essential. I do feel for you though, I couldn't imagine being in a position where every single member of my household was incapable of pulling weeds from the garden.

Are you sure you don't still hold a candle for him OP? Why can't you pull weeds yourself? How old are your kids?

Also why is it taking four hours to power wash a house?!

There is no essential travel

Freudian slip typo? You're right - this isn't essential travel. He should be staying at home.

Ffs either it’s his home where he’s living during lockdown or it’s not. If it’s not then he shouldn’t be there!!!!
None of the rest matters