Am I being controlling?

[Anon000]

Dd's dad (separated) asked today if he could take her to London next year, she'll have just turned 2.
4 hr train ride, 2 changes. For a comicon convention.
I asked if I was invited, we're on good terms and was unsure about committing to letting her go alone, I admit I'm a very "attached" parent. Whatever that means. He said sure, so I thought why not.

Then he said he'd be meeting up with his online friends, which is when I began to waver. A weekend in london as a separated family, is a lot different to him going to london with friends and me tagging along as an awkward ex if you ask me. So he tried to convince me by saying "DD will get loads of hugs and attention from them!"

Aibu and controlling to have said a flat out no?! "Hugs and attention" from a group of online strangers, who he's only met once in his life, if that, to my 2 year old? No way would I be comfortable with that. He thinks I'm mad and paranoid.

@z0fl0ra I've never done that and never would, so for me no it's no different. Not a judgement on anyone who does, it's just my person level of comfort with strangers

We are not even half way through this year. So much can happen between now and than. He will probably forget all about it by next year. Just say maybe and that you'll talk about it closer to the time.

It’s not him taking his DD for a weekend that bothers me. It’s taking a 2yr old on such a long journey and to Comic-con. That is a recipe for a meltdown and 2 is just too young for such a trip. It’s more appropriate for a 7yr old.

I’d suggest gently that he take her for something more local and age appropriate.

@PlanDeRaccordement yes, hopefully after some quality time alone he'll see that for himself

he's never spent a day alone with her, let alone a night
On this basis alone it's a 'no' from me.
Or would be!

I'n guessing he thinks it will look good or wants to dress up DC as his sidekick, she's his accessory for a theme day!
Plus it's hardly spending time with her is it, he'll be meeting his friends and she'll be seen and not heard.
If you go - you'd be doing the childcare.....

He can try looking after his child in his own home first and getting to know her -she isn't a toy.

Then he said he'd be meeting up with his online friends
saying "DD will get loads of hugs and attention from them!"

Yeah, that's a huge NO.

What's wrong with him?

I can’t believe so many people have voted YABU to him taking her to London for a weekend to meet a load of people he only knows online to give DD loads of hugs and attention...

he's never spent a day alone with her, let alone a night
Then when covid is over, it will be time to ensure this happens. He can then move on to taking her away.

You'll have to let go at some point.its never easy to do, not at 2, not 5. It's in her own benefit that she starts spending more time with her father.