Wife has had a text to say she is high risk, where does that leave me

[Yellowskies1988]

Hi. She has huntingtons disease and been showing mild/onset symptoms, I'm not sure how to word it. Anyway she does a few hours a week playing activities in a care home.

Anyway she has been told today via text message that she is high risk and not leave the house for 12 weeks.

I'm a "keyworker" too in the fresh food industry. Where does that leave me? I'm I not allowed to go to work now? We also have 2 boys, both are at home age 7 and 5. 7 YO is autistic too

Only positing here for traffic

I think 80% pay is only for furloughed staff, which is not applicable to those shielding (unless they would also co-incidentally be furloughed due to lack of work).

I think (but I'm not sure) that SSP (so £90ish per week) is all that legally has to be paid, unless you are entitled to occupational sick pay within your contract. Basically, I think she's "sick" so whatever normal sick pay would apply is what would be paid. She needs to check with her employer.

@yellowskies we are very fortunate that his work is really doing everything they can , including giving him 2 weeks off in full pay when I was poorly with my usual illness, but unfortunately they don't have to, you'll have to be as proactive as you can

I second either your wife and children should shield or she should shield alone.
It's very hard to shield from your children because there is your instinct to parent and their instincts to need you.
However shielding alone with a young or high needs child especially when you are used to support will be a head spin.
I think you need to consider what works best and make that what you do. That may mean tweaking the advice whilst remaining as safe as you can.
Stripping off at the door and showering before contact will help but it really does depend on what contact you have with others.
It is very disheartening to shield and you may find there are mood swings it's hard for the children as well and the adjustment is a rough ride. I have no doubt it is a struggle for you as well.
Try and build in some regular social contacts through Zoom Skyoe Watts App etc

Playing devil's advocate, what happens if someone told to not leave the house for 12 weeks, doesn't adhere to this? (And just carries on with their life?)

How would anyone know?

I haven't had it any such letter - and nor has anyone I know. Just curious.

The 80% pay is for people who would normally have been made redundant as the company is in trouble- eg companies hit by the lockdown like anything connected with travel. (one example.)

It does not apply to workers who decide to leave their jobs due to being at risk. Their company/ employer can choose what to do (I think.)

If they catch the virus they're at greater risk of developing much more serious symptoms.

@pleasepleasepleasehelp

It seems to me that you are questioning the if the sms text my wife received?

You can guarantee my wife and now my children won't leave the house since she had this message at 2.06pm today. I will be going to work and the shop and that is all. We have a tiny yard that my kids will have to make do with for the foreseeable. We live in a small community and word gets around

@pleasepleasepleasehelp if you are in the shielded group you have two issues. One if your normal illness takes a turn for the very worse, and the second if you get Covid-19.

In both cases while you may get treated it won't be the intense treatment you need.

If you have a compromised immune system you don't even want a cold as it could turn out worse and there are not the NHS resources to deal with it.

Thanks @LittleLittleLittle

Interesting to know that. I guess though, that people still could carry on as normal without being found out. But it is a risk (as you say,) because if you catch covid 19, or your condition gets worse, you could find it hard to get the treatment you need.

@Yellowskies1988 No I wasn't questioning anything you said. Why did you think that?

I was just curious as to how anyone would know if someone did carry on as normal, and did not adhere to the message saying they have to stay in for 12 weeks.

I am in the shielding group and my dh provides physical care for me , he has to touch me so it’s impossible for him to stay two metres away.
The government were wrong not to put a system in place for all members of the household to be able to shield together.
Lives will be lost because partners/parents of extremely vulnerable people are having to leave the house.

@pleasepleasepleasehelp nobody is forcing people to stay in for 12 weeks it’s advice to keep people alive! If someone chooses not to keep to the advice it’s their choice.

@Yellowskies1988
basically the 3 need to stay away from me?

That's the question, isn't it? DH is counted as vulnerable, so far I've avoided going to the shops and we've managed to get deliveries and I'm working from home so it's not been an issue. If I have to go out what then? We have a six year old, he's a young six of not want to take him with me, but he won't understand staying 2 meters away from DH.

One you throw young children into the mix, self isolating within the home becomes really, really difficult, and it's difficult enough anyway.

@MyDcAreMarvel

Thank you. As I said, I was just curious that's all. It must be very difficult to do. I would go loco I think. Being restricted for 3 weeks, and only being allowed out for exercise (in my local area,) and only going for a food shop once a week is bad enough!

I can't wait for it to end!

Being holed up in the house for THREE MONTHS though? I would struggle massively with that.

@pleasepleasepleasehelp just the last sentence from your post
"I haven't had it any such letter - and nor has anyone I know. Just curious"
I'm parhaps a little frustrated and concerned about my family as is everybody. I apologise.

ON another note
@JinglingHellsBells
@mrsm43s

A lot of people have self isolated accross the shifts where I work. They have had 2 weeks off under "selfisolation" and they wages haven't been any less than what they would usually get so I think my work have "messed up" and paid these self isolators 80% pay for the 2 weeks they had off??

OP the government advice doesn't work for those with young children, children with certain disabilities and adults who need personal care.

I know a stubborn elderly man (neighbour) who is should be "shielding" but is refusing point blank to. They are getting on the bus to go to the shops for various unnecessary items almost daily! Drives me mad but there is nothing more I can say. He is putting himself massively at risk. But as someone else said, they aren’t forcing people to stay at home for 12 weeks - it is advice, isn’t it?

My husband is in the vulnerable group so shielding .

I have mostly been working from home and if I have to go in i socially distance and do my utmost not to expose him by keeping clothes etc washed and surfaces clean etc . It’s quite a stressful responsibility.

I am avoiding supermarkets as much as I can as well ( not easy)

I am lucky as most of the time I can work from home .

The children would only be 'safe' if they are shielding too. Including op staying 2 metres away from them. I'm sorry op it's a horrible situation to be in.

If she is showing signs then you should all self isolate.

@cabbageking

Signs if here illness not covid19

Would it help if I posted the full letter so you can read it? I'll blank out my details but you can see the full advice while waiting for the letter arrive?

I’m in the shielding group and we’re isolating as a family. Obviously, that only works if the other adult is able to work from home. I’m fearful of what happens when the schools go back because then I will have to stay away from my children. That will be horrible.

The guidance is really hard to follow if you can’t all shield together especially with children.

Still a massive grey area about what I'm meant to do regarding work

On returning from work: Take your shoes off as soon as you step inside the door. Leave them somewhere away from your wife and children. Go straight to have a shower and wash your hair. Put your work clothes in a bag, & put them straight into the washing machine & wash at least 60 degrees.

And then practice physical distancing in your house.

I have Chinese colleagues who did this sort of physical distancing in a very small 2 bedroom apartment. Never in the same room together, different times for using kitchen & bathroom, and wiping down after use.

It's tough but that's the way to protect your wife's life.

Could you isolate yourself from her and the children? The children aren't a risk to her if they're not going out -- but you are.

I am in exactly the same situation. Currently locked in my room with symptoms, tested today. DH has a shielding letter as of last week, 4 kids in the house. I am a nurse so obviously exposed and treating patients. I don't know what to do. Dc cried their eyes out earlier when the idea of me moving was briefly floated but practically impossible for me to stay away from them all. Just don't know what to do. Sorry op, it's just so hard.