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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask children to play in their own street?

61 replies

TattiePants · 06/04/2020 18:44

I live on a private road which is owned, maintained, insured etc by the residents. There are a handful of families living here and as most of us have relatively small gardens, we’ve agreed between us to take turns using the road so the DCs can play on bikes and scooters. Basically only one family will be out at once as the road’s quite narrow and it would be tricky keeping the DCs apart.

This afternoon my DCs wanted to ride their bikes so I went to check if the street was clear and 3 kids that don’t live here were riding their bikes up and down. We played in the garden for a bit but 25 minutes later the same kids were still in the street, now playing football. I asked if they could go back to their own street / house as we wanted to play out. They did go but 5 minutes later their DF confronted me saying it was unfair as their street is too busy for them to play and ‘it’s only a street’. I did point out that it’s a private road and that I had actually left them for 25 minutes which I didn’t need to. He walked off saying I wasn’t to tell his DCs where they could play and that he’d be letting them play here whenever they wanted. Twat!

OP posts:
LavenderQuartz · 06/04/2020 18:51

Non of you should be playing out either way fgs!

Rosebel · 06/04/2020 18:54

Children from the same family can play together surely. Each time tell them to go home. They'll get bored in the end.

TattiePants · 06/04/2020 18:55

If they are playing they are doing so in our garden but riding up and down the street on their bike or running round the block as a form of exercise, on our property when there is no one else there?

OP posts:
saraclara · 06/04/2020 18:58

Non of you should be playing out either way fgs!

Of course they can if the children are all from the same household.

But OP is being snobby. A private road can still be used by anyone. It's not trespass for other people to use it.

Beingyellow · 06/04/2020 18:58

Its hard to tell if you're being unreasonable without being able to picture the area and the street. The fact that the boys dad wasn't there keeping an eye on them sounds unreasonable though.

Sandsnake · 06/04/2020 19:01

Your plan with your neighbours sounds very sensible and responsible. The guy was definitely out of order. Although unfortunately I’m not sure if there’s that much you can do about it.

Elsiebear90 · 06/04/2020 19:01

You don’t own the road, they can play there if they want to, how ridiculous to tell children to get off “your” road.

saraclara · 06/04/2020 19:02

A private road can be used by the general public and is open to all who wish to use it, but it primarily benefits those at whose request it was established. Unlike highways that are cared for by the public at large, private roads are maintained at the expense of the private individuals who requested the road.

legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Private+Roads

Thereshegoesagain · 06/04/2020 19:02

LavenderQuartz
Why?
All members of family are playing on THEIR OWN PRIVATE ROAD.They have an agreement with other neighbors so that there is no cross over.
People are allowed outside and these children are using THEIR OWN PRIVATE ROAD as an extension of their garden.

NewYearNewTwatName · 06/04/2020 19:03

jesus christ, this getting ridiculous. lavender get fucking grip.

OP can you talk to your neighbours about what happened, hopefully they can tell the kids to go home next time and if the dad comes back again you can all tell to him fuck off.

Comefromaway · 06/04/2020 19:04

Actually Else she does own the road. The OP said the road is owned and maintained by the residents of which she is one.

Where I used to live the end of the street was a private road. My house was the last of the houses on the public part. I was not allowed to drive up that part, only the residents of the 6 houses it served.

GreenTulips · 06/04/2020 19:05

You don’t own the road, they can play there if they want to, how ridiculous to tell children to get off “your” road

They own and maintained the road with the other families.

So yes she can

saraclara · 06/04/2020 19:06

As I posted above, the other family have every right to use the road.

What the OP should do is pleasantly explain to the dad that the families are taking turns, and offer his kids a slot.

saraclara · 06/04/2020 19:07

@GreenTulips, no she can't. See my bolded extract from the legal dictionary above

MouthBreathingRage · 06/04/2020 19:08

If its privately owned, just stand firm and tell them they're trespassing. Tell their neanderthal father as pleasantly as possible that they have no legal right to your road and anymore trespassing will be reported to the police. Hopefully just the threat will be enough to keep them away.

TattiePants · 06/04/2020 19:08

With the exception of one road at the bottom of the street, the roads around here are pretty quiet (especially at the minute) so it’s not like I was sending them off to to play on a duel carriageway. For all I know they’d been playing here all morning. I’m not sure how I’m being snobby. There are very few benefits from living on a private road, usually it’s just a lot of money and hassle. For the first time in 13 years we’ve found a positive!

OP posts:
Lolwhat · 06/04/2020 19:08

YABU

OhCaptain · 06/04/2020 19:10

Can you speak to other neighbours about it?

There’s no way to stop them, I suppose!

saraclara · 06/04/2020 19:11

FFS. How many times. You usually can't drive down a private road that isn't yours, but:

A private road can be used by the general public and is open to all who wish to use it

The OP cannot refuse to let children from another road, play on her road.

YouTheCat · 06/04/2020 19:13

Regardless of the road being private, the kids from another street should be supervised by a parent to ensure they are socially distancing.

TattiePants · 06/04/2020 19:13

Their kids had had their slot already! We don’t want to allocate each family a time as that doesn’t work for us, we are all happy to be flexible. In the past kids have played in our street and no one cares but that’s not an option now. They wanted to play here because the road surface is good for riding on. Yes, that would be because the owners spent many £000s having it resurfaced.

OP posts:
HavelockVetinari · 06/04/2020 19:16

Unfortunately OP you're in the wrong - private roads are legally open to the general public to use, you can't prevent others using it I'm afraid.

What you could do is apologise, explain what you're doing, and ask him if he'd like a slot for his DC.

TattiePants · 06/04/2020 19:18

@saraclara but they had their turn already. We were only out for 25-30 minutes do they’d had at least that amount of time. Once we went in (and assuming another resident didn’t want to be outside) they could have come back and I certainly wouldn’t be going out to chase them off for no reason. We could allocate time slots but that doesn’t work for us.

The kids were actually very polite, it was just their DF.

OP posts:
coldlighthappier · 06/04/2020 19:20

I would 100% do what you do and I don’t think you are in the wrong at all. The dad sounds like a nasty piece of work and he should be supervising his children anyway. This current situation is really highlighting some shoddy parenting

NewYearNewTwatName · 06/04/2020 19:20

Actually from this PDF file OP can tell them to gerrawff mmmmyy lannnd.

And I would assume that OPs road does not have a right of way for the public on it, so the first part I've copied and pasted isn't relevant.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?q=researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/SN00402/SN00402.pdf&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwj6nMXSstToAhWjonEKHXYqAdkQFjAAegQIChAB&usg=AOvVaw2uoVtSO-bQrW6cjUwV7MXb" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?q=researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/SN00402/SN00402.pdf&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwj6nMXSstToAhWjonEKHXYqAdkQFjAAegQIChAB&usg=AOvVaw2uoVtSO-bQrW6cjUwV7MXb
-----------
5.3 Nuisance and trespass
Interfering with a right of way is a civil wrong, namely a nuisance. As
Barsby states, a person whose land has the benefit of a right of way
may take action against any person interfering with his right, whether
the owner of the road or a person who also enjoys a right of way, or
someone unconnected with the road. For example, a right to take
action might arise if the parking of cars in a narrow private road
persistently interfered with the exercise of a right of way, such as in the
case of Horne and Horne v. Ball [1995] CLY 1841 in which the court
had to deal with deliberate obstruction, accompanied by verbal abuse
over a long period.27

In the case of trespass, i.e. going onto land unlawfully or exceeding the
scope of one’s authority to go on to land, Barsby states that:
Any person in possession of land can take legal action for
trespass, whether or not they are the owner of the land, since the
policy of the law is to protect a person in that position against
anyone other than the true owner of the land. This is particularly
important where the ownership of a private road is unknown

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