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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask children to play in their own street?

61 replies

TattiePants · 06/04/2020 18:44

I live on a private road which is owned, maintained, insured etc by the residents. There are a handful of families living here and as most of us have relatively small gardens, we’ve agreed between us to take turns using the road so the DCs can play on bikes and scooters. Basically only one family will be out at once as the road’s quite narrow and it would be tricky keeping the DCs apart.

This afternoon my DCs wanted to ride their bikes so I went to check if the street was clear and 3 kids that don’t live here were riding their bikes up and down. We played in the garden for a bit but 25 minutes later the same kids were still in the street, now playing football. I asked if they could go back to their own street / house as we wanted to play out. They did go but 5 minutes later their DF confronted me saying it was unfair as their street is too busy for them to play and ‘it’s only a street’. I did point out that it’s a private road and that I had actually left them for 25 minutes which I didn’t need to. He walked off saying I wasn’t to tell his DCs where they could play and that he’d be letting them play here whenever they wanted. Twat!

OP posts:
saraclara · 06/04/2020 19:24

They're not interfering with a right of way @NewYearNewTwatName That would be if someone obstructed access for the cars of those who pay for the road.

NewYearNewTwatName · 06/04/2020 19:26

I said the first bit was irrelevant as it doesn't sound like the OP road goes anywhere and so no rights of way...., read the bottom bit about trespass

itsgettingweird · 06/04/2020 19:28

Regardless of the legalities of the private road it's a private road for the OP home.

Which part of stay at home means "go and play in another street because the road is a better surface for cycling?"

Kids playing outside their own house are staying at home.

Kids cycling around a block which includes going down the private road are having daily exercise.

Kids playing away from their own street outside someone else's home and cycling up and down aren't sticking to guidelines.

NewYearNewTwatName · 06/04/2020 19:29

and even if it had a right of way on it, a right of way to to get from A to B. not handing about on it or playing or having a picnic.....

TattiePants · 06/04/2020 19:37

@itsgettingweird you’ve explained it better than me!

The street has a weird layout so there are a Few ways in and out and if they were walking or cycling up the street as part of their exercise, of course that’s not a problem. My eldest is 13 and usually goes out on his own but at the minute I’m supervising to make sure he stays away from everyone else. If we’d gone out in the street, all the kids could have played together and the other DF wouldn’t have known!

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 06/04/2020 19:51

YANBU at all. And the dumb comment about you not owning the road 😂😂

Lifeaback · 06/04/2020 19:53

I think you were well within your rights to tell them to go home- it sounds like you have a good system in place for the kids and it’s very unfair for children who don’t live there to come and interfere with that. If they/their dad comes back I would be holding my ground and telling the other parents on the road to do the same!

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 06/04/2020 19:54

@LavenderQuartrz - YABU to refer to it as 'playing out' - it's 'playing outside'!

AiryFairyMum · 06/04/2020 19:58

The dad sounds vile. YANBU.

Lynda07 · 06/04/2020 19:59

TattiePants, your arrangement with your neighbours is a good one and your children are riding bikes and scooters for a little while, not playing in other ways, the gardens are for that. The man you spoke to was out of order allowing his children to kick a ball around your road, I hope they don't return. Does he not have a garden? The kids next door to me and their parents have been kicking a ball over the last couple of days in their back garden (and they're in their twenties :-)).

YouTheCat · 06/04/2020 20:00

Milktray, up this way it is called 'playing out'.

AmelieTaylor · 06/04/2020 20:01

YANBU.

You were more than fair allowing them ‘a slot’.

At the moment, children ‘exercising’ need supervising. Wherever they’re ‘exercising’

Unlimited ‘playing out’ without any supervision, simply isn’t on.

FuckThisWind · 06/04/2020 20:02

Privately owned has sod all to do with it.
We are not supposed to be mixing with each other. Don't you get that? Don't you realise that it will spread the virus and kill people? This is not about spoiling peoples fun. It's about not spreading a deadly virus.

saraclara · 06/04/2020 20:04

@MilkTrayLimeBarrel it's been called 'playing out' everywhere I've lived. Up north, in the Midlands, and now in the southeast.

YABU to nitpick a perfectly normal use of language.

Fruitsaladjelly · 06/04/2020 20:08

My understanding of a private road (I live on one) is that anyone may use the road for access ( going to a house on that road) however playing football is not using it for access

IndecentFeminist · 06/04/2020 20:09

Indeed. Which is why the OP does t okay out there when others are.

TattiePants · 06/04/2020 20:12

@FuckThisWind but we’re not mixing with anyone, that’s the whole point of the thread. It’s also why I’m supervising a 13 year old when he’s outside.

OP posts:
MintyMabel · 06/04/2020 20:14

I’d have done the same and will continue to any time they come past.

I am irritated when people’s kids run on our driveway, mainly because my neighbour comes racing up it, but the drive is next to a path and there isn’t a fence between them, just a couple of metres of grass. It is obviously a driveway though. I have relaxed during this a bit as sometimes people need to go on the drive to maintain a distance and that’s fine. If kids were playing on it though, they’d be told to piss off.

TattiePants · 06/04/2020 20:15

@Lynda07 I didn’t ask where he lived but most of the nearby streets are Victorian Terraces so will have some outdoor space, even if not loads.

OP posts:
LavenderQuartz · 06/04/2020 20:15

@MilkTrayLimeBarrel nope love....not every part of the country says it your way....so not unreasonable at all

emilybrontescorsett · 06/04/2020 20:19

Op yanbu.

emmcan · 06/04/2020 20:26

Fucking immigrants...
Covid 19 is the death of free movement.

Hippee · 06/04/2020 20:34

saraclara - the dictionary you quote is American, so may not be relevant here.

RightOnTheEdge · 06/04/2020 20:51

OP I think yanbu just because the kids should not have been playing out on a street they don't live on especially unsupervised.

Milktray yabvu! Where do you come from that you have never heard it called "playing out"? It's a totally normal thing to say Confused

TotorosFurryBehind · 06/04/2020 21:00

@saraclara you have posted a reference to US law which is not applicable in UK. The general public do not have a right to use the road in this way

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