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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that this is really sad for the young children?

429 replies

PrettyLittleLiar20 · 06/04/2020 18:30

I’ve got a young child who is so so bored at home. Constantly asks if we can go to the playground. I say no the playground is closed. Can we go to the beach mummy? No because we’re not allowed. Mummy can we go to McDonald’s? No because it’s closed. I’m just so so sad for my DD and im constantly feeling bad because she doesn’t understand any of this. Sad

OP posts:
formerbabe · 06/04/2020 21:04

I don't understand a lot of the unsympathetic posters on here.

If your dc feels sad because they had a row with their best friend at school, fails a test, doesn't get invited to a party or any other reason...Do you all snap at them and say that there's starving, dying people in the world.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 06/04/2020 21:06

There are terminally ill people who have had their last dreams snatched away. And for some reason we don't see those people moaning constantly. Probably because they're just happy to be here.

Get your kid a bag of sand and a paddling pool and be grateful for what you have. This won't be forever, it will be a distant memory soon for the majority of people.

Dutchesss · 06/04/2020 21:07

Great things can come from boredom. Let her be creative.

Quartz2208 · 06/04/2020 21:07

I have 2 children and one elderly 95 year old grandmother and I can tell you from speaking to her and looking at my children she is certainly the one having the hardest time.

She is stuck in her room unable to go out or see everyone, my Dad can no longer visit, she missed her birthday celebration and she may not be able to get another.

My kids on the other hand are resilient - they are able to utilise technology and see there friends play games - they did hide and seek with each other. One may be missing the end of Primary school but she will start high school and it will become but a memory to her

formerbabe · 06/04/2020 21:08

There are terminally ill people who have had their last dreams snatched away. And for some reason we don't see those people moaning constantly

This is such an odd way to view the world...that unless we're actually dying, we should never vocalize our unhappiness.

ralphi · 06/04/2020 21:11

I think it is absolutely ok to be sad for her, her life has changed massively and she has to adjust to that. So do we all, and I think it is fine to grieve a bit for how things were, and how they could be. But in the nicest possible way, this is the time you need to step up and find really interesting things for her to do. Play with her, read with her... all she really needs are the people who love her.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 06/04/2020 21:11

Formerbabe a reminder to appreciate what we have and that life will carry on should never be viewed as 'odd' 🙄

CheesecakeAddict · 06/04/2020 21:11

I'm sad that I can't give her the experiences I want to give her, currently. Children are resilient and dd is too young to remember this anyway. The main thing is keeping her safe so I can keep taking her to the beach, the park, playdates etc when this is all over.

TheFutureMrsHardy · 06/04/2020 21:12

You need to find better ways than McDonald's to entertain your DC. Kids don't need to feed crap to make their life happy.

Hmm
Hettie34 · 06/04/2020 21:13

I get you. It's hard for the little ones. It's not easy to explain and it does make you feel guilty.

My five year old is showing signs of being bored/down/missing school etc now. She's more teary and emotional. We've been trying our best to keep things fun but it's hard.

I think it has helped to keep busy together. I'm not sure how old your child is but....

In the morning have breakfast and then let her have a bubble bath. Keep her busy for half an hour washing dolls hair. Making bubble teapartys. Playing boats. Let her try washing her hair etc.

Then try watching a film together or a program she loves. Things like the Wiggles on Netflix are fun and dancy. Or the little baby bum nursery times. Do some singing etc. Maybe have a cup of tea and a biscuit together whilst you do this so it's more fun.

. Have a picnic in the garden. If it's a nice day. Bath dolls in the garden. Wash cars. Do chalking on slabs. Colouring. Daisy picking. Look for ladybirds. Help her out leaves in a pot and make a ladybird house etc.

In the afternoons colouring, naps. Puzzles. Playdoh etc. Anything crafty. Let her have a sleep if she has one. Then hopefully you can get jobs done.

It's really difficult though. They are used to mixing and having fun.

Yes it's better than being at risk of this virus. But our kids are innocent and can't understand that. Ofcourse they will be fed up and bored.

Its hard for us mummy's too. Trying to do our jobs and occupy them and get some headspace is tricky.

You are not alone! Its really tough xx

MarieQueenofScots · 06/04/2020 21:14

a reminder to appreciate what we have and that life will carry on should never be viewed as 'odd'

And it should never be inappropriate for someone to say they find something sad or hard without facing a barrage of “man up, other people have it worse”.

Sometimes it’s important to acknowledge that someone has posted for a moan and commiserate. Empathy isn’t a finite resource.

formerbabe · 06/04/2020 21:15

Formerbabe a reminder to appreciate what we have and that life will carry on should never be viewed as 'odd

It's not a reminder. I know people die. I've lost many people close to me. I feel sad about many things not just death. But yeah, unless you're on your death bed, shut up.

TacosTuesday · 06/04/2020 21:17

Yes it's sad and YANBU..it's necessary and sad. It can be both. There's lots to be done but lots that can't be done, e g seeing friends, loved ones, teachers. We're definitely making the best of the situation but I feel sad and a range of emotions for many people, including children.

nowaitaminute · 06/04/2020 21:17

You know what's funny... mine haven't asked for the park, soft play or McDonald's or school at all!! They are so happy just being home with DH and I.Now they are very lucky to have a huge back garden with a woodland so I am aware of that. But I haven't really had to say "no" much tbh. Thank goodness!!

Whoareyoudududu · 06/04/2020 21:19

My children seem rather unfazed by it tbh. They’re still out in the garden on their bikes and scooters or kicking a ball around every day. They have WiFi and thus Netflix and roblox access. They’re being home educated to the best of my ability and they have food, warmth and love.

Some children live in war zones, I think British kids are fairly lucky to be ‘suffering’ because they can’t go to McDonald’s.

Katypyee · 06/04/2020 21:21

There are some pretty shitty replies here. Yes we all know why we are doing this and that in the grand scheme of things we are lucky and there are others seriously ill and dying from it. That doesn't mean how our kids or ourselves are feeling is irrelevant.

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/04/2020 21:21

Oh help I am deeply traumatised... I have just realised that as a small child I did not..

Go to mcdonalds
Play with friends daily
Go to the park
Go to any organised baby senses/babygym/art/dance/whatever groups

I sat around at home with Mother, whilst she did her household jobs, I learned to cook, sew, clean, tidy, I played in the garden, I was read to, made things, played with my mum and my sister, and by myself, painted, drew etc etc.

Your kids are missing out on things some of us grew up not having or certainly not having to the extent todays kids have.

It won't kill them, but you will need to learn how to parent them full time rather than part time.

WindowOrchid · 06/04/2020 21:23

My toddler seems happy and adjusting at the moment, though she does ask about all the things we did before.

But a PP hit the nail on the head when she said even if they don't remember this, it could affect their development if it's long term. Of course that's a possibility - babies, toddlers and young children learn from the nuances of speech and communication, physical experience and socialisation.

These children are our future - they will be driving the economy in two decades in the aftermath of this, they are our future NHS workers, scientists, politicians, teachers etc etc.

The things we are sad for, such as them missing out on experiences, social activity and physical experiences are the things they enjoy so much specifically because it's hard wired into them to develop and it's obvious how much they enjoy it.

namechangenumber2 · 06/04/2020 21:23

I think it's rubbish for everyone. DS1 is 16, down in the dumps as he doesn't know what's going to happen to his GCSE's, doesn't know what impact that could have on his college choices, wants to see his friends, wants the long yr 11 summer he was looking forward to. DS2 is 11, he is sad as he would have liked to have finished primary school properly, he's anxious as he doesn't know what's going to happen next. They are entitled to feel that way, I'm entitled to feel crap for them. No where near as much as I am about the fact people are dying and thinking about the amazing front line workers who are putting themselves at risk everyday.

It is possible to feel crap for everyone.

Hadjab · 06/04/2020 21:24

I feel sorry for the kids in Sri Lanka, India and Bangladesh - they are currently in lockdown. Unlike the U.K., those countries are not going to recover anytime soon, as they rely heavily on retail, which is fucked and will be for a while. Retailers have cancelled billions of dollars worth of orders. Their medical facilities are nothing like ours - children will die.

formerbabe · 06/04/2020 21:25

@WiddlinDiddlin. You went to school I presume?

B0bbin · 06/04/2020 21:25

I do feel sorry that some of them are not interacting with other kids for a while... it's quite important for them. It's definitely not that terrible though, especially compared to the shower of shit so many people are experiencing. People are dying. Kids are not as vulnerable to it.

Crackerofdoom · 06/04/2020 21:27

A lot of children (mine included) are probably getting far more time with their parents than they would do normally.

Whether we choose to view that as a positive or a negative and what we do with this extra time is up to us.

TakeMeOn · 06/04/2020 21:27

My five year old doesn't want to play, she's not eating much, not sleeping much, she has nervous tics. She says she has a tummy ache all the time. She's really scared of the virus and acting really down. She gets obsessive fears of things and right now the subject of her fear is the virus. She's also sad about not having her birthday party and sad about not seeing her friends. Yes there's always someone worse off but that's always going to be true for everything and that doesn't mean it's bad for someone to be sad about something "less worthy".

Heygirlheyboy · 06/04/2020 21:28

Babies and toddlers need very little that can't be provided within the home, apart from outdoor space and time. Primary attachment and play and all that goes with that really are all they need for development. There are some lovely classes and activities now but they are extras, not essential.