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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that this is really sad for the young children?

429 replies

PrettyLittleLiar20 · 06/04/2020 18:30

I’ve got a young child who is so so bored at home. Constantly asks if we can go to the playground. I say no the playground is closed. Can we go to the beach mummy? No because we’re not allowed. Mummy can we go to McDonald’s? No because it’s closed. I’m just so so sad for my DD and im constantly feeling bad because she doesn’t understand any of this. Sad

OP posts:
TheArchSorcererofContwaraburg · 06/04/2020 18:54

No, I don't think it's really sad, it's temporary. My child had cancer. THAT was a really sad place for young children to be. Sad is when children don't get to grow up. Sad is when they lose a parent due to this virus (or anything else). This is very temporary. There's lots you can still do even with playgrounds and Maccie D's closed, stick round here for ideas. The 'Let's think of something else to do instead' is a great idea. It's not mean to disagree that it's 'really sad' for young children.

Darbs76 · 06/04/2020 18:54

I think it’s easier for young kids as they are easily distracted and least affected. I don’t envy anyone trying to keep young kids entertained but the day Boris announced no GCSEs and I saw the devastated look on my sons face (he’s worked so hard for so long) I’d have swapped for a toddler who doesn’t truly understand

chickedeee · 06/04/2020 18:55

I think it is ok to feel sad whatever age or circumstance you are in.

Please allow children to talk about it, don't deny this/paper it over. This is what makes us resilient NOT having a competition as to who is having the worst time Smile

Original poster
PrettyLittleLiar20 · 06/04/2020 18:55

Omfg @Poetryinaction that’s exactly what I’m talking about. People saying look at all these people worse off than you. Just because there are people worse off than you does not mean you cannot feel sadness for things that you’ve been used to.

OP posts:
Nighttimefreedom · 06/04/2020 18:57

I agree OP it is really sad for them. They are sacrificing a lot and I feel really sorry for them.
Quite often people respond to this saying they're enjoying the family time and pottering about in the garden whilst the children trampoline.... not reality for a lot of us I'm afraid. This is hard for them. It's not a competition.

Francesthemute · 06/04/2020 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

formerbabe · 06/04/2020 18:58

I think many people actually don't feel a lot of sympathy for children regardless of what the reason is for the child to feel sad

I remember when my mother died when I was a child I would wonder why the adults around me weren't kinder to me considering what had happened?

So many seem to think children will just adapt to whatever shitty circumstances they're in and should shut up and make life easier for the grown ups who have 'real' problems to deal with.

NerrSnerr · 06/04/2020 18:59

I'm a nurse and my currently job is to find care homes for people in the hospital who are at the end of their life (without Covid) to die without family present. That is really sad.

It was my child's birthday and he asked whether he was having his friend's for a party with a bouncy castle and slide. That's not as sad as what's happening above but still made me feel a bit sad too. I'm also sad my daughter is missing her friends and her swimming teacher. I'm of course grateful we're safe and well.

You can feel sad about a certain situation and still acknowledge that there are worse things going on.

Cissyandflora · 06/04/2020 19:00

You can do so much with your child at home and make it an adventure. I have four in a small high rise flat and they haven’t been out for 21 days now. They are so busy and it will be a long time before they get bored. We have so many books and games. And I think I may be fortunate because they have each other (although they have started to fight a bit!). I read to them every night for an hour to try to keep the normality going.

I don’t feel particularly sorry for the children. I feel that for all of us it’s stressful and the frontline workers are just amazing and brave. Those who are ill and suffering are the ones I feel sorry for.

I think your child will be absolutely fine if you can look after yourself and find a different normal. Different activities and arts and crafts make things fun.

mbosnz · 06/04/2020 19:00

Absolutely, you can feel sad for them. But when looking at what is temporarily on hold, also look at what your child is blessed with, and help your child enjoy and appreciate that, rather than focusing on what they can't currently enjoy that normally they are so fortunate to be able to do so. . .

And to the PP about our GCSE kids - you're not wrong. Two years down the gurgler. Of incredibly, ridiculously, hard work, that has so much impact on their future.

Backhometothenorth · 06/04/2020 19:02

Find something fun to do. We are lucky to have a (small) garden and have been having a camping holiday for the last three days! Worked from the garden today, we have all the mod cons and the kids have had a ball!

purpleboy · 06/04/2020 19:03

Why does it have to be a competition about who is the saddest?
Op is entitled to feel sad her child is not experiencing life the way she is used to, it doesn't mean she doesn't feel sad about the people dying, people in worse situations etc etc..
Surely we are all impacted in one negative way or another. Our own personal sorrows and struggles are just that, they may not be as bad as someone else's but that does not mean they are any less valid for the person experiencing it.
I'm sure op is doing most things suggested here but she is allowed to vent and feel frustrated at the current situation she finds herself in.

Original poster
PrettyLittleLiar20 · 06/04/2020 19:03

Why do we have to compare coronavirus with a child having cancer? I just knew I’d get these kind of replies. That’s like me saying to someone who just lost there job well there’s people who don’t have a job so stop thinking of yourself. So many people on their high horse. Everyone is entitled to feel sad and not everything has to be compared to dreadful things in life.

OP posts:
Bluewavescrashing · 06/04/2020 19:03

It's hard for you because you can't explain an invisible virus and death to a toddler. I get it Flowers

BeetrootRocks · 06/04/2020 19:03

I think it's really hard on children and teens as it's totally unnatural for them to have no contact with peers. No playing, clubs etc. For teens the normal development is to distance from family, they are trapped at home with family no going out socialising anything.

Yes I think it's really hard for them and why does everything have to be a competition.

Chloemol · 06/04/2020 19:04

What would be sadder is if you die from it. Kids adapt,

OverTheRainbowLiesOz · 06/04/2020 19:04

I feel a bit sorrier for the 16 to 21 year olds who will have to start work in an economic crisis.

Orgulous · 06/04/2020 19:05

My kids (4 and 2) are having a nice time pottering about the garden, spending lots of time with Mummy and Daddy, learning to play independently with each other (one is at nursery full time, the other at school, so all this free time just to play together has been rather lovely). We play board games and do some low-key schoolwork from Reception every day with the eldest, we read stories and watch telly and go for our government-mandated scooter ride on the rec ground. DC1 misses his friends, but all in all I think they're having a nice lazy time. They seem happy.
There are two of them though, which makes a massive difference. I think both would be really struggling if they were only children. I know I find dc2's nap time when I have to full-on entertain dc1 much harder than when I can just let them potter about while I load the dishwasher.

formerbabe · 06/04/2020 19:07

What would be sadder is if you die from it. Kids adapt

I hate this attitude. It's why all the adults around me after my mother's death did fuck all to help me because apparently children are so resilient.

They're not. They just often can't express their feelings.

ALovelyBitOfSquirrel · 06/04/2020 19:07

I think there are kids experiencing worse situations in the world than not getting to go to the park or get a happy meal

This.

Nighttimefreedom · 06/04/2020 19:07

It's sad because not only are they making a lot of sacrifices, they are doing it to protect others more than themselves.
Absolutely right that they do, but it's still hard for them.

Alsohuman · 06/04/2020 19:07

It’s sad for NHS staff, particularly those in ITU. It’s sad for people losing relatives who can’t even go to their funerals. It’s sad for shielded people who live alone. Not being able to go to the beach or MacDonalds isn’t sad. It’s what used to be a normal childhood.

Original poster
PrettyLittleLiar20 · 06/04/2020 19:08

How dare that people feel sad when their house gets burgled because their are poor famailies who never had those things that for burgled in the first place. How dare that people feel sad when their car gets stolen because there are people that can’t even afford a car. How dare that people get angry at their kids when they misbehave when there are people that can’t even get pregnant. The list goes on. Some people really have a chip on their shoulder on here.

OP posts:
DuchenneParent · 06/04/2020 19:08

My 5 year old is loving being at home instead of school, but I am a little sad that he was just starting to make friends in his reception class (he moved school at Christmas) and now he's at home with no other children his age. I hope he can pick it up where he left off when he goes back.

My 1 year old is oblivious but I am looking forward to being able to take her to toddler groups again, it will probably blow her mind as she will have forgotten being anywhere but her house!!

psychomath · 06/04/2020 19:08

Lol OP you're so inconsiderate, why aren't you explaining to your small child how lucky she is not to have been born 200 years ago when she'd have had to eat gruel and work as a chimney sweep for sixteen hours a day? And then teaching her to crochet organic doilies, because her getting bored with being stuck at home clearly means you're failing as a parent.