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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that this is really sad for the young children?

429 replies

PrettyLittleLiar20 · 06/04/2020 18:30

I’ve got a young child who is so so bored at home. Constantly asks if we can go to the playground. I say no the playground is closed. Can we go to the beach mummy? No because we’re not allowed. Mummy can we go to McDonald’s? No because it’s closed. I’m just so so sad for my DD and im constantly feeling bad because she doesn’t understand any of this. Sad

OP posts:
dahlia83 · 06/04/2020 22:25

That is completely ridiculous and silly. Those of us that are parents of under 5s are so lucky, these little kids don't care a jot...they are delighted to have their parents attention as we're not rushing around all the time

Sennetti · 06/04/2020 22:26

@Shinesweetfreedom hmmm i'm inclined to agree with that! thats the sad part

VashtaNerada · 06/04/2020 22:27

It’s obviously sad for lots of people for different reasons but I totally get your point OP. It’s harder for them to see the bigger picture and understand this is in their best interests. I feel very sorry for them personally.

DisorganisedOrganiser · 06/04/2020 22:28

I agree OP. It is absolutely awful for the children. Plus whenever anyone says it is bad for one particular group then people on here say that the worst hit group are frontline NHS. Well I am frontline NHS and I think it is much, much worse for my kids than me.

It has to be done but if your children are extroverts it wicks, big time.

BeetrootRocks · 06/04/2020 22:35

'Those of us that are parents of under 5s are so lucky, these little kids don't care a jot..'

With both parents trying to work ft from home?
When they live in shit accommodation and can't get out much any more?
When they aren't seeing their friends/ family etc?
When parents have lost jobs and food is tight?
For children in chaotic home situations?

Super lucky.

There are loads of diffrrent circs.

Dogwalks2 · 06/04/2020 22:36

I am shocked at the negative response from some of the posters. My kids are much older but I can remember the feeling of isolation and overwhelming responsibility you feel as a parent to young children and the need for social interaction to keep my sanity as my husband continued in his job as an emergency services worker.

Now I have teenagers (self sufficient as long as the WiFi stays on.
It is hard being a parent, for the new born mums, no groups no baby meet ups.
Toddler mums, no parent and toddler group or tumble tots or a walk in the local park to play in the swing park.
I could go on, the most important thing as much as this is hard for us all.
STAY HOME
And this will pass.xx

Leflic · 06/04/2020 22:41

Lots of “extrovert” kids don’t grow up in London or major cities where there are opportunities for full potential.

I agree going backwards is crap but actually now it’s all been done we can get it back. Children are very adaptable.Lock down with parents may be a force for good.

formerbabe · 06/04/2020 22:41

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DisorganisedOrganiser · 06/04/2020 22:41

Sadly I am not remotely shocked at the negative responses. For a site called Mumsnet, this place is incredibly unsympathetic to children and particularly to mothers of small children.

DisorganisedOrganiser · 06/04/2020 22:44

Plus I am so fucking sick of being told this is an opportunity and might even be a good thing for children. For some kids yes. Mine are bored out of their minds and they miss school and all their friends. For toddlers / preschoolers it is worse still. So we are getting through it because we have to but it is not an opportunity or a good thing. Plus it is not fun ‘family time’. At least let parents be able to say that this is fucking awful. Especially for those in small houses with no gardens.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 06/04/2020 22:47

@CheshireDing Sorry but I don’t mean to be horrid but you need to look on the positive side when you answer them then. ‘No the playground isn’t open because of cv but it will be soon what would you like to do instead?’

This. Ar that age they take away your attitude on it all.

user1494182820 · 06/04/2020 22:50

How old is she? If she doesn't understand, explain to her 🤦‍♂️

bookworm14 · 06/04/2020 22:56

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coffeeforone · 06/04/2020 22:59

YANBU. I'm sad for my 3 year old who I basically have to ignore all day while I juggle working full time and looking after his younger more demanding sibling.

RuffleCrow · 06/04/2020 23:03

It is sad op.

Don't let MN suck you into the Sadness Olympics. Your feelings are real and valid. But the chances are this will pass, so hang on in there and try and make the best of each day.

A quote that keeps me going is from Orange is the New Black. An older inmate is 'welcoming/commiserating' a newbie. She asks her is she's heard of a Mandala. - they're these beautiful artworks made by tibetan monks that take absolutely ages to create. But when they're finished they erase them. So her advice is (roughly) "look at your time here as a mandala. Try to create something as beautiful and meaningful as you can - and when you've done your time, know that it was all temporary."

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 · 06/04/2020 23:27

@WiddlinDiddlin "It won't kill them, but you will need to learn how to parent them full time rather than part time."

This is a really shitty statement, who exactly are you aiming to offend, belittle and insult with it, parents who send their children to school or parents who work to earn money to pay the bills and feed their children?

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 06/04/2020 23:31

For toddlers / preschoolers it is worse still

How though?
I'd have thought toddlers and pre-school was a perfect age as at that age you just "accept."
Although I agree trying to keep them occupied for more than 5 seconds is soul sucking....

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 06/04/2020 23:35

@Cornishclio
Well said to all that, I feel exactly the same

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 06/04/2020 23:38

How much do you remember if your childhood? Do you really think a couple of months is going to have that much impact?!

DisorganisedOrganiser · 07/04/2020 07:16

Wotcha it’s worse as they just can’t understand. So they might ‘accept’ but 5 minutes later they are asking again to e.g. go to the park. Their attention span is shorter so they will get bored more easily. They might go on screens but it’s not like they can sit and binge watch a Netflix show (or they can but would probably rather be at the park). Plus they cannot keep in touch with their friends and FaceTime etc with toddlers is usually fairly short and sweet plus some find it scary. Often if it is nursery friends then the parents do not even know the other parents so no hope of FaceTiming. They might miss their nursery teachers but unlike for older children, there is no online school or any sort of pretend normality for them in that respect.

Plus, from a parent’s point of view, many toddlers are like dogs in that they need to be walked / exercised twice a day.

Essentially they are often missing out on everything fun in their lives without being able to make the most of the usual technological distractions.

I don’t have toddlers or preschoolers by the way, I just have never forgotten how hard it is to parent them in normal circumstances, let alone this.

Settlersofcatan · 07/04/2020 07:38

There is a sub set of posters on here that feels strongly that women are best at home with young children. Those posters are really enjoying the opportunity to bang on about how all under 5s really want is their mums anyway so are just fine with lockdown.

I am finding this a challenge and I think it will be good for my parenting skills. My 3 year old had never, except when ill, spent a day completely at home before. But it also makes us more secure in our decision to use childcare normally as our son misses nursery and his friends a lot. Despite the brigade on here that think all little kids prefer to be at home.

HT96 · 07/04/2020 07:51

How small are we talking? My DD is 3 and we tell her we can't do these things because of the germs... she kind of understand that as they taught her about germs at nursery a few weeks ago!

1AngelicFruitCake · 07/04/2020 08:10

We live such privileged lives that this has come as a shock but children need us to be honest but positive with them. Some of my friends are horrified their children will miss out on clubs and play dates. Yes it’s hard for the children but if this is the worst problem they’re facing then they’re doing well.

rjebgf · 07/04/2020 08:16

My SIL told my 2 and 4 year old nieces that there is a sickness illness and that they need to stay at home until the illness goes away and that people must not do any visiting in case they catch it. I’m sure a 3yo can understand this. You don’t need to go the full on global pandemic killing thousands type of explanation! And probably be grateful that your child is so young they’ll never remember any of it.

Heygirlheyboy · 07/04/2020 08:39

Settlers it's not a feeling, I work ft by the way myself, it is a fact that primary attachment is the most important thing for 0-3s. It doesn't tie in with our society but nonetheless it's backed by a lot of research. And yes it's hard on us as parents now!! Of course your ds misses his normal, as you say that's where he spends majority of his time, that's not a surprise.