H going to the City tomorrow and on the tube

[SecretsInSpitalfield]

Haven’t even nc

He has been drinking every day .. from the morning

So many times lost his job .. and lied and pretended to go to ‘work’.. got us MASSIVELY into debt

Now saying he has to go on the tube tomorrow to ‘pick up a screen’ .. new job .. he’s meant to be self employed as a ‘contractor’ but no signs of money ... very suspicious

And he is saying that going on ten stops on a busy tube then another x amount of stops on another tube is ‘essential’ ? Is he being an arse? He just drinks vodka and we aren’t paying bills or anything. He has no friends and falls out with everyone by the way

I get that he's a self employed contractor - but he will be a contractor working at a company (his client).

Has he said which company he is working at/what company his client are?

I can’t possibly say even though I know you’re trying to be helpful but what if you knew them? I can only say the company is a moniker of ‘dreifitivea’ type name

Derivatives *

How long has he not had earnings for with this 'contract'?

To be fair it would be within the realms of normal to invoice on the last day of the month and then have 14 days payment terms

However

Whether he is working or not really isn't the biggest problem here.

The biggest problem is that he's an alcoholic and at best an utter arsehole and at worst abusive.

Could you call Women's Aid while he is next out to get some advice?

Do you have any money in your account at all? Is there enough to rent somewhere even if it means moving out of London?

Any friends or relatives that you can stay with?

Thank you @wheresmymojo

I don’t have any money .. dog business gone and no money .. no family .. have friends in the sense of checking in with them or asking how they are of what’s good tv recommendation etc ...

Do you drink too OP? I ask without judgement btw, your posts don’t seem as concerned about it as they might.

So a possibility he could be getting invoice money ...

He was laughing saying corona not real BUT he’s got lots of masks (for vodka trips) and buys pizzas for himself (not us) he’s a fat bastard .. 24 stone!! Despise him.

I have drank but not tonight ... my messages sound sparse cause I’m on edge

I’m messaging in a hurry

What are you planning to do about your 24 stone lying drunk?

And been awake with poorly DS for over god knows how long

I help my lovely neighbour who is an older lady and a key worker .. I visit the pets .. avd we have the gloves and disinfectant etc

Then H cones home after being out to seven different shops and doesn’t wash his hands .. he laughs .. in a nasty way .. rubs his hands over the surfaces and computers

Let's say there is invoice money coming in...could you take half of it when it appears in the account and go and rent a little flat somewhere and then apply for UC?

It sounds horrible to be married to a man that is an alcoholic, lies, etc and absolutely no good for the DC who I'm sure will realise what's going on.

Sweetheart, what’s your question?

Winnie.. I don’t know ?? I really don’t .. even my rescue dog is on edge

Where’s - no way to get access ... he lied about being £70k in debt when I met him .. never seen any money .. he hadn’t given me a £ ... all our lives he’s gone out drinking abd Restuarants and more credit cards

Could women's aid not get you into a refuge?

Do you need help with alcohol use too?

No I never touched alcohol .. it can be a ‘coping mechanism’ but I know better than that

But I have drank in the past * I’m far from perfect

I know refuges exist but that’s the absolute LAST resort ... I would give up the ‘normalcy’ of what my boys know.. my darling dogs... the safe neighbourhood .. the familiar faces .. the little business I built (on hold now) my pre teen told me while he doesn’t like the pig (DH) he would HATE to go to a hostel ! It’s like from a frying pan to a fire 🔥 an they’re over stretched so much ..

Then kick him out and work it out from there. Why are you desperate to stay with him? Every update makes him more and more awful.

Oh, what a right old mess this man has landed you in. You mentioned his parents, are they aware of the situation and what do they feel about it? Even if their priority is their son, there are children - their grandchildren- living in the home.
If you were my friend, even not that close, I’d want to help you. I hope you could reach out to a friend.

I think you need to find someone to mind your pets, and move far far away from him, before you snap and try to poison the bastard or similar. Tempting but not worth it in the long run. What did you ever see in him??