To think that obesity mostly has to do with your genes

[penandpaperlife]

I've been living with my best friend for a year now due to some personal issues with my STBXH, and this has been something I've been wondering about. My best friend eats the exact same thing as me, with the same exact portion size. She also snacks on nuts and/or biscuits throughout the day (we're a freelance team so we spend basically all day together) while I don't.

Why then, is she slim and I'm not?

The only difference in our lifestyle is that she goes for a 15min run every morning. I've read studies and charts though and that seems to only burn about 150kcals. Surely that wouldn't even offset her snacks? I come from a 'fat family', she doesn't. We're both almost 30, if that matters. That leads me to believe that genetics do play a huge part here, contrary to what's often being parroted in the press. Is that possible? Does anyone have any experience with this?

I think the morning run will be making a difference. I also wonder if she fidgets more than you? Small amounts of moving about do add up.

I think maybe coming from a 'fat family' (not my words) would point more towards learned eating behaviours rather than being genetic.

Oh and the other thing she would do is eat only when she was hungry. So if she wasn’t hungry, she would skip a meal, whereas I (a confirmed fatty) won’t leave the house without breakfast, even if I’ve had a massive meal the night before. It’s pure habit rather than hunger.

eat 500 calories more than you burn per day and you’ll gain a pound a week, or 52lb per year. This is why so many people are mystified by their weight, they often overeat healthy foods and, when comparing with others, neglect to mention that extra sugar in their tea, glass of wine per evening, full-fat products instead of lighter etc. It all adds up, unfortunately

I once read a post about someone going to a friends for lunch, the friend prepped the ham, salad, bread etc and each time she picked something up to put it on the plates a bit was stuffed in her mouth. When she presented the lunch she said something along the lines of ‘I don’t know why I struggle with my weight, I’m eating the same amount as you” whilst being completely unaware she had already had a half portion of everything anyway.

The 2000 calories a day for women myth does people no favours, I’m 5ft 9 but if I ate more than 1600 cals per day I’d put on weight

tdeecalculator.net

My exh, his mum and dad are all slim. They often say it's their Genes. It's not. They all fidget. Exhs parents do loads of walking the dog and barely sit down at home. Just potter about.

Exh couldnt sit still. They all are decent amounts not huge. I was slim but watched what I ate, went to the gym 5/6 times a week. because honestly I would rather sit and watch TV, read or nap. Just like my mum and brother. All over weight at some point in our lives. I had to out effort in to stay slim.

After me and exh split up. I piled weight on. a few stone. I was diagnosed with anxiety and then PTSD. I didnt worry about. But couldnt really understand why it was going on so fast.

Then we were made to work from home, followed by lockdown. I am down 15 lbs in about 3 weeks. I didnt think my eating was that bad. Clearly it was.

I am getting up later so not having breakfast, as I am not hungry until lunch. Theres no buffet lunches for board meetings. No constant cakes and biscuits.. I would have said i didnt eat that much at work.

I was wrong or lying to myself. I am not even eating a small lunch. A decent sized sandwiches and a bag of crisps, or scrambled eggs and bacon on toast. Thats it til dinner. And I am actually taking a break to eat lunch with dp. Rather than mindlessly eating while I work.

Small habits can make a difference. I am taking over more of the dog walks this week as, I am starting to feel my anxiety levels rising. So do need to take advantage of the exercise we are allowed to do. Not everyday. But some days. So I imagine that will help shift more.

I do think people have factors that make them more predisposed to putting weight on. But for most people, they put weight in because they are eating too much and not moving enough.

If you are both currently eating the same, then you are both likely maintaining your current weight.

This!

If you want to be slim like your friend you need to eat less than her until you've lost the weight.

@OhhhPeee I completely agree about the skipping a meal thing. I was overweight and yoyo’d a bit during my time at university (fell foul of “the freshman fifteen). I lost weight For good about 3 years after leaving uni.

Now, if I’ve had a massive dinner the night before, I always, always skip breakfast. I still have about half a stone to lose after my pregnancy but I am slim and my weight remains basically stable. I think it’s mainly due to certain small changes in mindset and habits.

YABU, it's about eating more calories than you burn... there are factors that can influence it but it does come down to calories.

I think genes have a massive effect. My family have been on the fatter side forever (including WW1, WW2 and during communism in Poland so v. badly affected).

I'm currently a BMI of 30, and definitely need to lose weight, my mother only managed to lose weight when I was younger by eating about 800kcal once a day, usually in the evening, even though she spent all day taking care of children and had a physical job. She only ate slightly more at Christmas, Easter, etc. My auntie was the exact same.

I have PCOS and severe hypothyroidism. On paper I should be obese and find it difficult to lose weight but I am not and I don’t. I move a lot. More even than my size 0 sister does and so while she maintains her weight on 2.5-3k calories per day I maintain on approx 2-2.1k. To lose weight I try to shave off 50-100 cals per day and move / lift weights more and that strategy usually works

I used to work with a teacher who brought her own lunch to school, ate it at break time and then had a full school lunch. She ate breakfast at school and had chocolate bars as her afternoon snack. I couldn't've physically eaten what she did but she was stick thin and I wasn't.

Obese people are often unaware of how many calories they're actually eating, I have spoken to overweight people who claim to eat X amount of calories per day and witnessed them eat that amount in one meal and drinks etc. Your body can't just create fat cells from absolutely nothing, excess calories is the cause.

Silvercatowner but what did she eat at home? If that was all she was eating each day, or she was having a very light evening meal/doing exercise, her calories in vs calories out would balance or be in deficit.

YABU,

In countries where there are food shortages do you see obese people? No, exactly.

This should tell you something.

Stop making excuses.

I think it completely depends.
In my case (and mine alone, I speak for nobody else) I am obese due to inactivity and bad diet, both of which I am trying to change.
Some may have underlying health issues, genes or other factors.

No, I'd guarantee that she's generally moves more and probably snacks less too.

I think most of us snack far more than we realise.

OhhhPeee I'm not sure it mattered what she ate at home. She ate about 3x what I ate in my whole day whilst she was just at school.

I move all day, even whilst sitting. Some people have more urge to move - just look at that 15 min run she does.

I bet if you pay attention, she moves more generally. She may all leave food on her plate, feel full and just stop eating. All adds up.

Your flatmate's body composition is likely to be very different to yours. If she is lean and carries a decent amount of muscle (due to the exercise) then she will burn more calories than you at rest, not just from exercising.

It might be a good idea to start using My Fitness Pal or Nutracheck to record everything you eat and start doing some weights. If you can undercut your burned cals by 500- 700 cals a day you can lose weight slowly whilst gaining some muscle so that you will be able to eat more at goal and are more likely to maintain.

(flatmate) will continue to burn calories after the exercise, and probably also has greater muscle mass, so burns more calories over the whole course of a day.

That is a myth, or maybe better described as enormous exaggeration. I can show you the math. A little extra muscle makes feck all difference to baseline metabolism.

I dunno about you, OP. My fat friends freely confess they eat too much. When we spend a lot of time together, it's easy to see that they move less and eat more than me (I have a BMI around 21).

I don't see where OP has posted the exact heights & ages of herself and friend.

There is always a reason why somebody is fat. It's always something to do with glands, or genes. Or gut bacteria. Or GI. Or something.

These may have a role in weight.

The big thing that makes the difference, as pp have said, is calories in vs calories out. Simple.

15 minute run every day is quite a bit.

What are you eating on the quiet?

A bit here, a bit there...

(guilty as charged)

Sure I watched something that said slimmer people jiggle more - all day, foot tapping knee jiggling etc. Maybe she does that? Low level minor but almost constant movement. Also she may stand more. Just standing eats calories.

I think it is genetics as I was always very thin but ate loads. I've thickened now as older. For want of a better word!

I also think that your probably starting from a different place.
If she started at 8 stone and you started at 12 stone. Both eat the same. Both will stay at the same original weight. You need to eat less to reduce.

Also her daily run will be making a big difference. It's not just about the calories burned.

In a group of people, there will be a few predisposed to certain body shapes and even towards being heavy BUT as a general population obesity is linked to overeating and eating high calorie foods.

Yes some pp have photos of family during rationing, still heavy (you could still grow potatoes etc in your own garden and many people found ways around rationing). However historical photos of GROUPS compared to now show that now people are much heavier and the genetics don't alter that much in 50-100 years.