To think that obesity mostly has to do with your genes

[penandpaperlife]

I've been living with my best friend for a year now due to some personal issues with my STBXH, and this has been something I've been wondering about. My best friend eats the exact same thing as me, with the same exact portion size. She also snacks on nuts and/or biscuits throughout the day (we're a freelance team so we spend basically all day together) while I don't.

Why then, is she slim and I'm not?

The only difference in our lifestyle is that she goes for a 15min run every morning. I've read studies and charts though and that seems to only burn about 150kcals. Surely that wouldn't even offset her snacks? I come from a 'fat family', she doesn't. We're both almost 30, if that matters. That leads me to believe that genetics do play a huge part here, contrary to what's often being parroted in the press. Is that possible? Does anyone have any experience with this?

People who claim to not lose weight on 1,000 calories a day are either liars or defying the laws of physics.
I do not lose weight if I eat 1000 calories per day. I have even struggled to lose weight on 600 calories per day on the Cambridge diet (sole sourcing). I have a low thyroid which is supposed to be adequately treated but still struggle to lose weight.

Years ago I put on weight after giving up smoking and went on the Cambridge diet which, at that time, was a VLCD of 400 calories. I would lose one pound per day and I actually lost 4 stones in 3 months.

2 years ago I went on the 600 calorie per day Cambridge diet and I would lose one pound in one week and nothing the next before losing another pound in the third week. Go figure.

If you have Netflix find the series called Ask the Doctor. The first episode is on obesity and it's very good.

I don't know op. I have two dds (not biologically related to each other or me). 16 year old is plump and pretty much always has been. 11 year old is very slender and always has been. They are both short in height and they eat about the same amount, the 11 year old slightly more as she is always hungry and asking for snacks. They do about the same amount of exercise, but the older one also brings the dog out for a long walk every day. The only explanation i can see is that they have different genes.

I'd try low carb if I were you, OP. You're not the same as your mate

Yes and no. Genetics can have an effect on your metabolism, so can your diet/lifestyle (including exercise). Your calorie requirements will also carry according to muscle mass. Your friends running will probably help to boost her metabolism and increase muscle mass allowing her to eat more. But even accounting for differences it mostly comes down to will power. I also have fat genes and hate exercise. I don’t get fat because when I exceed a normal weight I stop eating until I drop back down again. Obviously some people are lucky in that they don’t have to try as hard but it’s still predominantly a will power issue.

I am a small person 5'2 and a size 4 , I am a fidgeter and I don't eat loads and tend to like healthier options , I do a lot of yoga ... If your concerned about your weight eat more vegetables, cut down on fat and carbs and exercise more ... But no unless there's a health issue then it tends to be about your eating habits and amount of exercise than genetics and that's why it's tends to be a family thing due to children copying there parents bad habits ...

I'd like to think genetics but I recognise poor food choices made as a family growing up, emotional eating etc..
so I can look at my family and think ooh it's in the genes but it's more likely to be the above .

I am slim and my DP is very obese - he weights 2.5x my weight. I’d you asked him I’m sure he would say that we eat more or less the same.

There are many many calories / carbs that he eats that “ don’t count “.

So we might eat the same dinner eg pork chops. However I have two with a large plate of salad or veg. He has one with potatoes and a bag of crisps. Then he has a large pudding - but this “doesn’t count“ because I had two chops and he had one.

I drink water or black herbal tea. He drinks LOADS of calories - beer, cider, fruit juice, chocolate milk, smoothies, lattes, mochas.

He drinks several of the large bottles of diet soda each day. They don’t count because they have zero calories. But they keep up his appetite for a sweet things and they still have an effect on his insulin levels. zero carbs doesn’t mean zero effect on the body.

All the snacks he eats every day don’t count , because he eats them sitting at his desk at work so I don’t see them. Every time he stops for petrol or to pick up milk he buys a multi pack of sweets or chocolate. They don’t count because they are for the kids. Except he forgets and eats them on the way home.

He eats a “ low calorie “ meal deal from Boots / M&S for lunch . Then rewards himself with a packet of biscuits for “ being good “. Or a pastry and some muffins.

Several nights a week he picks up the kids ( teenagers ) from sports practice and buys them takeaway food “ because they are hungry “. They eat one between them and he eats the other. So that doesn’t count because ( you’ve got it ) it’s “ for the kids “ and he only has a couple of chips honest.

He snacks all evening on prepared pre packed fruits - mango, pineapple, melon, grapes, Strawberries and yoghurts. They don’t count because they are “ healthy “.

He gets heartburn in the night, goes to the kitchen at 2am and drinks chocolate milk and eats cookies. That doesn’t count because it’s for the heartburn, it’s medicinal.

This is the story for the last 20 years. I have heard every creative line you can imagine. He will tell you ( very convincingly ) that he eats the same as me and it’s his genetics / metabolism.

He tells his doctor that he gains weight from all the business entertaining he does . That would be the 6 meals a year he has with clients, who, last time I checked, weren’t force feeding him.

I know that my DP isn’t the OP. But I’m just a little skeptical of overweight people who claim to eat very little.

Don't go running on your own OP if you're embarrassed. Do some Youtube exercise vids or go for a fast walk.

I have a sister that I'm close in age too. We had the same upbringing yet she's always stayed effortlessly slim and I've always had to battle to stay slim. I'm currently a healthy weight but I've been obese and not going back there is a continuous, conscious effort. I have the same body type as my mum - apple shape - and am always hungry. My sister isn't overly fussed about food and just eats a fairly small amount when she feels hungry. I have always had a huge appetite. I remember my dad asking me what I wanted for my birthday breakfast when I was 6 and I asked for 6 slices of toast 😂
I've done low carb and it didn't really help, I felt constantly unsatisfied. For some of us our appetite is a lot bigger than our calorie need and it makes staying a healthy weight difficult. If you take your eye off the ball and eat enough to satisfy your hunger then weight goes on.
It's taken a long time for me to realise that being hungry is a physical state and not a moral failing. I'm not greedy or lazy or stupid, my body just wants more calories than it needs.

But I’m just a little skeptical of overweight people who claim to eat very little

Exactly, the programme Secret Eaters illustrated this perfectly. I remember an opera singer who only ate healthy food so couldn't why she couldn't lose weight but her portions were enormous, eg she had a fruit salad that contained several punnets of fruit and an entire pineapple and would have filled a washing up bowl and that was just her breakfast and she carried on like that throughout the programme.

There was also a traffic warden who was on her feet all day and 'only ate salad' but when they watched her she was in Greggs every time she passed, which was more than once every day while working on the high street.

The difference in weight is almost certainly due to slightly bigger portions, the odd extra snack, more calories in drinks and slightly lower activity levels if she runs a bit (15 minutes a day really isn't much unless she's really going for it, eg HIIT workouts) and is more active overall, eg you say she paces around while on the phone.

Over time, those small differences over time can lead to a good few pounds weight difference.

The thing that convinced me it’s got a large genetic component was adoption studies. In adopted children their biological parents are a better predictor of whether they’re overweight as adults than their adoptive parents. I don’t see how that can be argued with really.

I can at approximately 95% certainty say 2 things:

• genes play a minor role. upbringing however plays a major role. if you grow up with massive portions etc, you are very likely to be overweight. its not your genes though, its habits

second thing:

• most people have absolutely clue how much they eat and how little they move. i do observational eating behaviour studies. what people genuinely think they do and what they really do has no correlation whatsoever

If that was exclusively the case, there would have been just as many (or far more) fat people in the 60s as there are now.

Of course genes play a part - I can sit on my arse eating chocolate all day and never put on a pound, I know that's not the case for everyone. But anyone who eats well and does exercise is unlikely to become obese.

A sedentary lifestyle and poor diet are to blame.

I think we massively underestimate the role of our genes generally, they really do play a role in all kinds of things in our lives. The women in my family can only be a healthy weight with the most incredible effort. We think about food ALL THE TIME. The minute I stop working hard (via Weightwatchers or whatever) I gain huge amounts of weight. Now whether I’m predisposed to weight gain or I have a naturally bad sense of when I’ve eaten enough or a slow metabolism or whatever, I’m not sure. But I’d be very surprised if my genes didn’t play a role.
I have been slim btw! It is possible for me. But by god do I have to work hard for it. There are other slim people who rarely think about diet and seem able to regulate without effort.

If people aren’t loosing weight on less than 1000 calories then they need to exersise a lot more.

To be honest I’m shocked at how little some people move. You should be doing a minimum of 10k steps a day and 30mins exercise that gets your heart rate to increase, slowly walking to the shop won’t be enough...it needs to be a power walk that gets your heart rate up.

I eat whatever I want, way more than my friends who weigh more but I burn it off, that’s the key! I do think some people have it harder than others but it’s doable with the will power.

@VashtaNerada is it genes or is it habit though? My husband eats the most ridiculous amount of food sometimes out of habit. He is just not conscious of what he is doing. I do think that genes are important but not as important as habit.

When I was at school (80s), there were maybe one or two chubby kids in the class. Now there are always at least five or six, or even more.

Genes haven't changed since then but habits definitely have.

There was a post like this a while ago and the op revealed further down in the thread that she drank fizzy drinks every day - because it wasn't something that she ate she didn't register it as a contributing factor. If your flat mate drinks lots of water every day and you don't or if you prefer fizzy drinks then that will play a part. Sorry if this is obvious to you op, just thought it was worth mentioning.

Also like previous posters I believe the fact the flat mate does more exercise does okay a part.

I'm slim and a pretty big eater but I drink quite a lot of water every day and exercise daily too.

I also believe that although it is similar, rather than genetics is it could be down to your gut microbiome. This is partially sort of hereditary/established in very early life.

You can change your gut microbiome though - it's highly variable. The problem is, in western societies diets that suit a healthy git microbiome are very far removed from what we actually eat. Lots of highly processed foods, sugar, sweeteners, but not a huge variety or large quantity of veg, 90% don't eat enough fibre, and we eat very little fermented foods as a general population.

"The only difference in our lifestyle is that she goes for a 15min run every morning. I've read studies and charts though and that seems to only burn about 150kcals."

Also while the actual run itself may only burn that much, it probably also increases her metabolism which means she will burn off calories throughout the day more quickly. I'm no expert that's just my theory!

Oh and absolutely drinks; not only can you drink so many calories but even if you use diet ones, the sweeteners have still been linked to obesity. Probably again because of their negative effect on the gut microbiome and the altered perception of taste and sweetness.

If your genes make you put weight on then you still have to eat less than those without those genes.

It's silly to think everyone should eat X amount and we would all be the same fatness.

I am fidgety and don't sleep for more than say, 6 hours ever, DH could sleep 9 hours a night happily and can sit and do his hobby for hours. He's the fatter one.

@LoveIsLovely I suspect it’s a bit of both! And habits are influenced by genes from what I’ve read. My guess would be that we have naturally slow metabolisms and also use food for comfort out of habit. My mother and grandmother always struggled with weight so the idea that obesity is new isn’t necessarily true, it’s just that it’s so bloody easy to gain weight in the society we live in now. High sugar foods are EVERYWHERE. Even in the middle of a pandemic!

It definitely is harder for some people. When I was at uni my bmi was 21 and to maintain that I ate 1 bowl of cereal during the day and 2 eggs scrambled with 1 slice of toast for dinner. I didn't drink alcohol. It was really really difficult and I wasn't even that thin really! The rest of my adult life I ended up with a bmi of around 23 - I maintained by having days of eating very little to offset meals out/drinks after work etc. Now after 2 babies I'm overweight and it's slowly coming off. But it's a lot of effort and takes a lot of time to shift. I don't lose weight unless I actually feel ravenous all day (which is how I know it's working!) and that's not a nice feeling to live with. So yeah, I do think it's tougher for me than some of my friends who seem to be "naturally" thinner. It's not very nice to scoff and say "stop making excuses". I mean, as a different example- I found breastfeeding easy, it never hurt me and my two babies thrived. If I were to post on here "stop making excuses, you know how it works, breast is best, how did people in the past manage with no formula?!" to people who didn't/ couldn't bf that wouldn't be very fair, would it (and no I don't actually believe this but it's an example of a 'natural' process that these days is actually found challenging by many)? We are all made differently, we experience things differently and even when you do know how something works it can still be difficult to do!