How do I cut my 3 year olds toe nails?

[FlatPeach]

Posting for traffic, yes I know iabu and there's much bigger things to fret about

Does anyone have any tips on cutting a 3yo toe nails without traumatising her? She's absolutely terrified and I'm out of ideas. Things we have tried

Letting her help cut my nails - ouch but didn't help
Wrap in a towel and just doing it - that was horrible
Doing it in her sleep - no chance
Bribery, choc button per nail - not interested
Offering a pedicure complete with glittery polish - nope
Nail file - worked for 10 seconds then refused
Silly voices and songs - no way

She's genuinely frightened and becomes hysterical at the mention of nail clippers and I can't think of any other methods to try/ bribe

I used to do my DDs’ when they were fast asleep.
Has she watched you do your own so she can see what happens?

Can you try nail scissors instead of clippers? They look less like a medical instrument

Can you not even manage one a night while she is sleeping?

May get flamed for this but both my DS hated this too. I just did it anyway, held them down and put up with the screaming for a few minutes. Oldest ds doesn't mind anymore, younger ds getting used to it. Sometimes just got to get on with things...

We used to get DD to sit & watch her favourite thing on TV - whatever that was at the time. We also just accepted that we were unlikely to get more than 1 or 2 nails done per session.

At 2/3 I was very strict and said quite loudly stop being ridiculous it does not hurt and will be quicker if you just let me do it.
Pin em/wrap in a towel and do it. Then they see it doesn't hurt and there's less and less fuss each time.
But then I don't piss about on the hair wash/bath either, I think mine went through resistive phases for bathing/hair washing and you just do it. Then they grow out of it/realise it's not bad.

I would just crack on too, once she realises it doesn’t hurt she’ll be fine. You can let her do yours too. The more ‘attempts’ and placating, the more she’ll freak out.

Nothing wrong with that, @stopfundinghate. It needs doing & if they won't let you do it, you risk them ripping a nail off. We used to pin DD down to brush her teeth. Much screaming, but DH's teeth are awful & it's probably genetic, so needs must.

I let my 3yo do it himself. He's 4 now and quite good at it. Obviously I supervise but he knows when it's hurting him!

You have to get the timing right with sleep. Read about sleep cycles. I think they’re most deeply asleep after about half an hour as I recall. Both my kids are light sleepers but at that crucial moment you could land a space ship in their room as they wouldn’t notice

I did do it once with screaming resistance; after that I did them when DS was asleep, which is so much easier. I think I got the tip from here.

When he was about 7 or 8 when I told him that's what I had been doing, and he started to let me do them in daytime, one or two at a time (still hated it though). Since he's been 9 he's done it himself.

Hold down and just do it. Then give choc buttons after all done.

If you are consistent with the carrot and stick approach it should just become a habit to let it get done without fuss.

Worked for my 3yo.

I also used to do it whilst DD was deeply asleep until that stopped working. She’s finally calming down enough now but still not keen at 6. It used to be a two-person job and DH would pin her down and I would just do it. Many a chocolate button afterwards. For a while, she’d only let me do it with my special scissors. My mum tried to do it once and realised why it was a job I put off.

My sensitive DS was like this. Totally traumatised. I just did them when he was deeply asleep, in the car worked a treat. Now he's nearly 5, he asks me to do them. Might've mentioned the creatures that live in the grime under long nails, and that freaked him out more than the thought of cutting them.

She wont always be like this. It's your choice whether to handle it gently or strictly.

Thank for the replies. I'm generally part of the "this is for your own good we can do it the east way or hard way" parenting camp, we've been through the hair washing, medicine taking, hair drying etc with a firm approach but this is something else.

The last pin down in a towel was just awful, DH was holding her firmly in a hug with a towel and she ended up with a bruise on her leg from
where I was holdingg her to try and stop her whipping her foot away while the clippers were erm...clipping and she was full on traumatised - I don't want to do that again

Perhaps the timing on the sleep phase was off, good suggestion. I'm just so paranoid she will wake up and catch me in the act and never fucking sleep ahain

They cut more easily just after a bath too, when the nail is soaked with water they are softer and more pliable. I always cut mine after a shower as beforehand, they are brittle, tough and more likely to tear.

I would try: a) while she's asleep or b) failing that, wrap kid in a towel and just get on with it. Reward for afterwards...

Having said that, we used to get DS to run himself ragged as he would fall unconscious asleep and we could give him a haircut with the clippers. It always amazed me that he never noticed he had longish hair one day and short - like Borstal short - the next. Did it for years too.

Gosh sorry for the typos, I've only had one glass too

We are the same as someone mentioned earlier. Put something on TV and start cutting ours and then try hers. Often we manage 0. Sometimes 1 or 2 and rarely eg yesterday manage 10 fingers and 10 toes. We try not to get it to become a battle

I would stop saying cut, say trim.

And just hold them tight and praise when they’re still.

She will eventually grow out of it.

I use the tommee tippee scissors on my three year old as I hate the clippers. I think you should try the in her sleep thing again.

It's very rare I have to do my children's toenails, they run around with no socks and shoes on most of the time though so they just get worn down naturally I think.

Very occasionally I have to trim them a bit and I do it with a very sharp pair of nail scissors when they are very relaxed.

Set an alarm for 20 mins after they've fallen asleep then do it. I've been doing this for years and DD has never woken up!

I do it with my ds favourite songs or show on the iPad.. He doesn't get it very often but it keeps him busy and I can cut his nails safely. He pulls away now and again but is usually too absorbed in the show to really care that I take it back again to do the next one

He holds the iPad.. Keeps his hands occupied

I was gonna say ipad too.