How do I cut my 3 year olds toe nails?

[FlatPeach]

Posting for traffic, yes I know iabu and there's much bigger things to fret about

Does anyone have any tips on cutting a 3yo toe nails without traumatising her? She's absolutely terrified and I'm out of ideas. Things we have tried

Letting her help cut my nails - ouch but didn't help
Wrap in a towel and just doing it - that was horrible
Doing it in her sleep - no chance
Bribery, choc button per nail - not interested
Offering a pedicure complete with glittery polish - nope
Nail file - worked for 10 seconds then refused
Silly voices and songs - no way

She's genuinely frightened and becomes hysterical at the mention of nail clippers and I can't think of any other methods to try/ bribe

My eldest is almost 4 and has some non NT behaviours one of 5hem being he gets ridiculously worked up over silly things such as nail trimming, no amount of bribing or cajoling him helps afraid to say I just this is what’s happening no amount of drama is going to stop me. We can do it the easy way or the hard way but it’s happening he invariably lets me do it now with little fuss but I’ve often had to just pin h8m down and do them.

We played a game. Scissors or clippers were hungry animals begging to be fed. Each nail was a different food - delicious or silly (ice cream or frogspawn).

I also gave the clippers to her and she did her cuddly toys.

Could you do it one toe per day?

Ok is it will take longer but the repeated short bursts of it should help, with positive association of choc buttons directly after.

You could do the nail file for perhaps four swipes across one toe and announce “all done” followed by praise and star chart. We know it isn’t enough but dc may think that wasn’t too bad and you can gradually build up time until you are actually doing what you need to do?

I weirdly use cuticle nippers on my 18m olds toenails and fingernails (I am a trained nail tech) - have done since she was little, sit her in my knee and we count her fingers one at a time as do them. She doesn't bother at all and watches intently but I think training early has helped hugely.

Think unfortunately if it's been built into a big thing in her head it's def not going to be easy to change. Have you tried getting her to sit across from you, hands across table in a mini salon game? Could do a warm hand cloth soak, moisturiser, buff, file (but don't actually file) pretend to cut her nails (but don't actually do it) ask about her day etc. Get a routine going before bathtime, gradually start filing gently, bit more each time and progress to cutting? Could do similar with a foot spa, wrap, cream etc. Has she got a sibling or wee pal who could join in at the 'salon'?

If the softly softly gradual approach doesn't work think sadly it's distraction, or you're in for a hold down and cut them situation if they're getting talon like!

Hope you find something that works for you both, and isn't too stressful for either of you ❤️

Lying them on their stomach to watch TV and bending their leg up towards their bum at the back also helps. You have better leverage and also they can't see what's going on

I give my DS (about to turn 3) my iPad to watch Kids YouTube on while I do his after a bath. He only gets to have this on the odd occasion otherwise, so he knows it’s a treat and readily agrees.

My son had a tantrum and demanded I 'put them back' on after trimming his fingernails. He later cheerfully told the drive through lady 'Mummy cut my fingers off today!'

Make trimming nails not a big deal at all. Get her to sit and sing to you whilst you do yours, just for company so she can see but not be made to see, maybe make up a song about it, make it a fun time, same with other family members. I used to hate how tight my parents gripped me whilst doing it, I felt trapped. I soon learned to do my own but not at 3 obviously.

I do my little boys (2.5 years) and then he "cuts" his teddies nails. No fuss but he's never been overly bothered by the situation I've always done it whilst he's been awake as there's no reason for him to fear nail cutting.

If she ended up with a bruised leg from being held down, I'm not surprised she's now terrified. It's not worth that amount of trauma and you won't be able to reason it with her for some time.

Do it in her sleep,night by night if necessary. I always used baby scissors which are much lighter than clippers.

Don't they still just peel off easily? My daughter's did at that age.

Get baby nail scissors - I still use them on my 6 year old - best thing for nail cutting!

I used to go into ds’s bedroom when he was sound asleep and do them by torchlight.

My girls were both terrified of it. I did it in their sleep. Now they pretend the clippers are a shark who needs fed and they sing “toenail shark do do do do do do...”

Call it a "manicure", never say cut

iPad and a treat per nail.

Teach breathing exercises.

Do one nail a day.

She will get there. My DS was like this, it's horrible.

Drop the clippers. They produce a jarring sensation.

Long bath for her, to soften the nails, and a completely new start with nail scissors. Get special baby ones- they have a guard on the blade to protect the finger being cut too.