To feel guilty I can't do a weekly shop?

[oliviaskies]

Title, really. Only have an under counter fridge, no freezer, very small cupboard space and I can't carry a lot anyway, honestly because I'm extremely weak (medical reason). I have a teen DD who I don't really trust to follow rules closely enough without me there (very very impulsive), who has a lot of allergies/intolerances (can't have gluten, egg, dairy) so sometimes they don't have things in stock that she can eat.
At the moment I'm having to go to the shop basically daily to ensure me and DD can eat and it's making me feel extremely down and guilty. AIBU? Anyone in a similar situation? I feel like I'm part of the problem.

Contact your pharmacy. The ones in my area are managing to source more food for those with allergies because it's a wide spread problem getting any in stores. They will even deliver to your home for you and most of it is long life stuff too.

Bulb I was under the impression that going to multiple shops was a big no-no, so have been trying to stick to just one supermarket and going back the next day if they didn't have anything. I worry a lot about food in general so have avoided having a 'stash' but I think it might be the best thing to do right now. Are taxis still operating as usual? I haven't seen any at the bays where I live so kind of assumed they weren't

Hannah There's no possible way of me ordering online. Slots are completely full and I'm assuming will be for a long time

We usually do two online shops a month, and pick up bits and pieces on the way home from work. Now we can’t shop online we’re going a two or three times a week, because like you, we don’t have a car.

DP will go tomorrow and get heavy and bulky stuff, and I will go on Tuesday for bread and veg if he’s not able to carry everything. We do a meal plan on a Sunday (always have) so we know what we need for the week. We are lucky that we have fairly decent storecupboard stocks from the last online order we got.

I think we all just have to do what we need to, in the most responsible way we can.

The guidance says shop as little as possible. You are doing that. You aren't going against the guidance.

I went to farm foods today, all the Staff standing together were talking about parties that they were going to later.

On the walk up neighbours were in each other's path.

In Lidl people were discussing what needed picking up because they were going to relatives, to eat.

When I got back my neighbours were mid BBQ.

They are the people who are part of the problem.

Thank you everyone for your replies and advice, I do feel a bit calmer now. Just worry that although I know it's 'allowed', covid doesn't and I'm putting myself and my DD at more risk :(

@oliviaskies you'll have to keep checking dear :( ... My friend said today at 1am in the morning she secured a tesco place for the 25th!! Crazy i know... :(

olivia the taxis where I am are still operating, but I think you need to call rather than go to the taxi rank. They are limiting passengers to two at a time but if you were on your own or with your daughter that might be fine. You could try googling a couple of local companies to find out. Similarly, you might manage to get a click and collect slot rather than delivery and use a taxi to pick it up?

I know going to multiple shops isn't ideal either but going to the big shop once a week for hard to get items and visiting a smaller shop a couple of times a week is still reducing your number of outings.

That said, you are managing the best and most responsible way you are able to for now, please don't be too hard on yourself.

You are doing fine but I would consider getting in touch with the local volunteers organisation to see if someone could be dropping you off stuff as well. Your council website will have details.

Dont worry. Shopping is really hard even without good issues. Try to spend less than 15 mins in the shop.

Why would you feel guilty OP?
I go to the supermarket 2-3 times a week on my way home from work.
If you want to go then go. Stop worrying about what others think. It's got nothing to do with anyone else anyway.

Buy a shopping trolley online. You can get a week's supply of everything needed for 2 kids and 3 cats in one without doing your back in, especially if you also have a backpack as well, containing a drink for energy/rehydration on the home stretch, along with some instant snacking/reward when you get back indoors.

It's what I did when I had to shop for that many people. I also had the smallest legal kitchen with 60cm of countertop and a single cupboard on the wall - I stacked cans behind the kitchen door, cat litter lived behind the settee, a large bag of rice on the windowsill - the fridge was well organised to maximise storage space; the only thing that had to be bought and consumed on the day was chicken nuggets and ice cream (as if that bothered the kids).

You shouldn’t feel guilty at all, a good diet is essential.

My boyfriend is having to do our shopping as I’m in a high risk but not shielding group. He can’t drive and the nearest supermarket is ages away so he has been using sainsburys local etc.

He doesn’t have arm muscles, as in doesn’t actually have them, so he can’t carry a lot and we don’t have anything else he can use as the suitcases we now have here are holdalls so he can’t use that.

The flat is also quite small, so small fridge, very small freezer, few cupboards.

We’re also extra awkward as I have type one diabetes and a kiwi allergy, my son has a milk allergy. We’re essentially a disaster zone.

A shopping trolley and rucksack would help. Also if you can afford the higher prices some farm shops/ wholesalers are doing home delivery, including gluten free and alternative milks, fresh meat, veg etc. Not so good for tins etc, but if you don't need to buy the other things you might have more space for other food.

MitziK That sounds like a good idea but I live on the fourth floor with no lift, so would struggle to take it up all the stairs, plus I would have to make multiple journeys up and down stairs to bring it up which I really am meant to avoid at the moment. I'll look into it, though!

Something like this is £25 on Amazon.

Could your daughter help to bring things up? You could ring her when you are at the bottom.

TW2013 Yes, and I'll have a look at that, although I still have the problem with storage and living in a super super tiny flat, but that would help a lot with tins and heavy items like milk.

Food doesn't have to be stored in the kitchen, try and stash it away anywhere it can fit, and definitely get your DD to help carry it all home.

If you search the shopping trolleys, there are ones with wheels that climb steps/stairs. If you and DD stood each side and both held it as you climb the stairs it should not be too heavy.

Like this

www.amazon.co.uk/s?ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_22&crid=294N9XP6761L5&sprefix=Shopping+trolley+stair%2Caps%2C186&k=shopping+trolley+stair+climber&tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Don't feel guilty, or that you're adding to the issues. If everyone is shopping as infrequently as they're able to then it will be fine - for us that's every 10 days or so but for you it's more often - it should balance out because not everyone needs to go so often. We don't have loads of storage space but I do keep one of those big shopping bags with things I can't fit in the cupboard at the moment. We've tried to make sure we have at least a few dinners in, in case one of us comes down with it and nobody can go out - things like meat in the freezer and jars of curry sauce, pasta sauce etc. Some of those things have to live in The Bag of Doom until there's space in the cupboard!

Have you investigated local companies that are offering eg fruit + veg delivery boxes? That might help a bit?

I think you really need to look into options so that you don’t have to shop daily. Not about your guilt, more about if either you or your dd show symptoms and have to self isolate you are screwed. Lots of small shops and grocers are delivering now and also suppliers that you used to supply restaurants are selling and delivering to the public. That way you can stock up on your daughters specialist foods when you do go and therefore can reside your trips.

Drop the guilt though op, you sound like you’re doing your best.

OP just do what you can do. Please don’t feel guilty.

If you can find extra storage to minimise the trips that would be great - like a pp said, even just a few long life items stashed in case you feel ill or don’t want to go out. This is just for your own ease.

It’s terrible that the various individual methods of survival of this virus, necessitated - in the main - by situational context, is becoming an opportunity to virtue signal/vent fear-driven blanket rage where the OP even needs to ask this question... And the accompanying drum-banging for totalitarianism is utterly appalling and scary.

Do the best you can.