Does anyone else have a wrecking ball child?

[Merryoldgoat]

My child is like a demolition team and it’s depressing me massively, obviously it’s magnified atm.

My 2yo has a speech delay, possible ASD and he’s driving me mad.

We have a big enough house and garden but because the living room is open plan it’s utter chaos. He just walks around emptying toy boxes, pulling stuff out of drawers, pulling cushions off chairs and I’m over it.

He’s also attempting to drop his fucking nap so spends ages grumpy, then sleeps at a stupid time, then is angry when we wake him up and the. He won’t go down until stupid o’clock.

I’m getting depressed (has previously felt well enough to plan to come off ADs - not now!) and my house is making me feel anxious.

We have the challenges many have right now - both DH and I working from home trying to keep 2 children happy, occupied whilst fulfilling our obligations to our employers.

I’m unable to settle down in this mess.

I’m just ranting now but I can’t see a way to improve stuff.

What can I do? Don’t tell me ignore the mess - I’m not a clean freak by any stretch - I have a relaxed attitude to housework - it’s too much.

Ffs. I didn’t want this voting

Try and stick with the naps at the old time but cut down the length. Even if it's 30 minutes quiet time. Just avoid allowing late naps. < looks at DD(4) napping on sofa 5.45pm😬>.

Could you remove the tiny/bitty toys such as lego which are a pain to put back? I don't think you can eliminate the problem but you could make it easier on yourself.

This sounds like Ds. I used to go out just so I could preserve the house

Didn’t matter what it was he would find a way into every drawer/cupboard/shelf/box or suitcase and empty the contents all over the floor.

He walked at 9 months and spent his days like a whirlwind going around the house leaving destruction in his wake.

His dsis (quite close in age) is similar.

Dd diagnosed ADD.
Ds,ADHD.

Should add he never slept.

I mean so it looks like there are fewer bigger things out.

I was living with a family and their son 3 was similar to how you describe your DS. Possible but undiagnosed learning difficulties and very little verbal communication. A 2 foot hurricane and difficult to manage. Toys would be strewn everywhere, all items had removed from lower kitchen cupboards as he pulled everything out. He was also nimble and strong and would move a chair to get on work surfaces and climb up the shelves.

Only have 1 crate of toys out in the day. (others in garage or out of sight). Rotate the crates each day if you want. Limit it to 3max for your own sanity & charity shop the rest. If he won't nap have 'quiet time' for an hour with you reading his favourite story books, watching cartoon or Disney film. Make sure he gets lots of exercise in the garden with a football & chasing games or on a walk as that will make him more likely to nap.

Yes put a load of toys away-away bringing out on rotation every few days a different box. When ds empties the box of crayons I hold his hand to get it to pick the crayons up then praise him. Might not work but something to try x

You can limit toys but they are not the only problem.

Paperwork, cat litter, pans, anything really he could get his hands on would be strewn around.

Imagine having to remove everything from every cupboard to keep the mess under control.

Yes and he's 3.5 and today broke a pop up tent his sisters were playing with...
He's pulled curtain poles down, radiators off walls, broken many many toys.
No educational difficulties here - in fact he's very advanced with numbers and engineering type things (takes toys with gears and put them together again, can do sums in his head up to about 20 and can count to at least 120 until he gets bored). But he's also very very determined, a climber (sees kallax as a climbing frame) and just is non stop from 6am to 7.30pm....

We have put lots of stuff in the garage, on top of the fridge freezer and on top of wardrobes - as those are the only places he can't climb to get to

He was also nimble and strong and would move a chair to get on work surfaces and climb up the shelves.

Yes mine also moves all the furniture around.

He won’t actually go to sleep at normal time - it’s impossible.

He’s enormous too and extremely strong (wearing 4 year old stuff - only JUST 2) - he’s a match physically for me easily.

Yes @Oliversmumsarmy - you nailed it. He also likes spinning stuff so if you stupidly leave something like a belt lying around he becomes a lethal weapon with a fucking flail flying round his head.

He’s asleep now. I’m living in fear.

A morning of chasing games is the way forward.

Yep, he was diagnosed with asd just after his 3rd Birthday. 3 years later he is still my not so little Tasmanian devil.

The way I dealt with it was to have pretty much nothing around that he could destroy (that for my own sanity). Same about the toys, maximum of 5 favourite toys he could reach (I rotated the toys as soon as I could see one was being ignored)

Yeah, I know, it sounds restrictive but with that level of activity if DS had not killed me with exhaustion, worry and despair.. I would have killed him myself!

I can assure you, however, that it does get better with age.

Thank you all. I can’t wait until I can shove it in his room and close the door

this is us atm but imaging a 6ft 2 15 y old and a 5ft 2 9 y old thats in mens medium so not normal 9 y old size

neither sleep in normal circumstances,being idle and confined is making them 100 times worse

they both have asd as well as many other diagnoses and do understand why we have to stay in but hate the fact that we have to

we are usually out most days exploring,learning via the world,day trips,home ed groups holidays every 4-6 weeks

being together 24/7 is normal for us as we home educate is being stuck in that is not

Yep. ASD/ADHD. Never slept, trail of destruction wherever he went BUT he would lie on the floor for hours with dozens of toy cars making traffic jams on one of these. I had to play with him and give him full attention at all times though.

www.amazon.co.uk/Kids-Road-Map-Playmat-Rug/dp/B00429T4AM?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Used to have to walk his little legs off for him to get any sleep at night, not really possible with lockdown but this might burn some energy off?
www.amazon.co.uk/Greenbay-55inch-Indoor-Outdoor-Trampoline/dp/B077P7ZQ6F/ref=sr_1_14?dchild=1&crid=1QID9VL4C2Y6E&keywords=toddler%2Btrampoline&sprefix=Toddler%2Btra%2Ckitchen%2C150&th=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1586115769&sr=8-14

He walked at 9 months and spent his days like a whirlwind going around the house leaving destruction in his wake.

I have one of these, I think this thread is my future. I also have a 6 year in a small 2 bed with an unsuitable garden and no back door. It's so hard keeping them busy without the entire house being trashed.

Yes, no ASD or ADHD here just a whirlwind. I put drawer locks on everything, moved all ornaments, had plastic cups and plates.
I agree with making him tidy it all up, or at least ‘helping’.

We have a big trampoline and he LOVES it - he’s learned how to do a high pitches scream to object to anything he doesn’t like though so you risk 20 mins of screeching once you take him off.

I have had to replace the walls in my house and is no longer open plan and the living room is minimalist, he’s a teenager now and still is a wrecking machine. My house is now adapted, codes need to be entered to move about the house and my front and back door are controlled by a fob system. My fences are over 6ft and curve inwards to stop climbing over but he is getting to tall for that.

@Boulshired

That sounds very exhausting... and somewhat alarming...

Thankfully my wrecking ball is drinking milk and seems to be winding down for a bit.

Do you have ANY capacity to make a playroom of sorts ? My friend literally made her spare living room into a sort of child version of a padded cell for her tornado baby. You could get stuff of amazon for it. Also a small trampoline is great for sensory input

Yep my ds is almost 7 and has severe autism. He destroys absolutely everything. We can’t have anything. We’ve replaced the carpets, now have hard flooring which is swelled up as he’s purposely spilt washing machine cleaner over amongst over things. Peels the wallpaper off the walls, draws over the walls. If I have a wooden basket with this in he will stand on the basket until it’s snapped. Draws all over thr radiator, he will smear food and poo on things. Basically just breaks and destroys absolutely everything without me rambling any more. The tv cabinet he poured water on so many time’s it got ruined so now we’re in an empty room with just the sofa and the tv on the wall (new tv now, he’s smashed a few). Not even a rug on the floor as we’ve gone through about 20 and I am not replacing it again to be ruined within a few days. I often dream of having a nice rug and a coffee table with some flowers on in a jar.

Mine are teenagers, now and a lot calmer. We still keep a lot of things locked in our bedroom. Have had to move the lamps out of the dining room because one would insist on turning them on, all day, while the other just yanks the plugs out of the wall by the cables. We only had them in there because the light turner on-er doesn't like us having the ceiling spots on but it's light enough to see what we're eating in the evenings, now the clocks have gone forward.