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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

FIL bringing builders home!

35 replies

navteexo · 05/04/2020 08:36

We live with our FIL and MIL. Both in their 60's. We have a 10 week old, and a 2 year old. Just found out FIL has invited over 3 of his builder mates to get some work done downstairs and theyre coming in an hour. Wtf!!!!!

Ive spoken to him, tried to get thru to him, husbands told him not to even think about it, MIL doesnt give a crap because she wants the work done. FIL's response is 'oh dont worry about it, nothing is going to happen' .... this is the same man who was breaking the roof which had asbestos, without any protective equipment last year.

We cant PHYSICALLY stop him, husbands going to work in a minute (keyworker). But i would love to show him this thread because he clearly thinks we are overreacting

OP posts:
SuckingDieselFella · 05/04/2020 08:38

Show him this ---->

YOU'RE PUTTING YOUR FAMILY AT RISK.

YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

Fruitdeleloop · 05/04/2020 08:41

What a selfish prick.

ColdToesHere · 05/04/2020 08:41

He is being a selfish entitled idiot.
Tell him if his grandchildren get sick then it’s it directly and 100% his fault.
And a ten week old would be at serious serious risk of not making it.

If he can live with the guilt of killing his grandchild(ren) then he’s a nasty man

Michellebops · 05/04/2020 08:43

Your father in law is an idiot.
So are his friends for even considering coming over.
In fact I hope your neighbours notice and report them to the police.

Building work is not an essential neither is socialising with friends.

He is putting EVERYONE in the household at risk as well as his friends and their families

dontdisturbmenow · 05/04/2020 08:46

What work is it?

Original poster
navteexo · 05/04/2020 08:46

On my way to show him all this. Since he thinks its only me and husband who are 'overreacting' and no one else thinks its as bad

OP posts:
Fairybatman · 05/04/2020 08:48

If they can’t work 2m apart and stay 2m away from all of you he is putting you all, including his grandchildren, at risk.

crispysausagerolls · 05/04/2020 08:48

Why do you live with them? I do sort of think their house, their decision. How stupid it is depends on if the work is emergency work or not.

Ferfooksek · 05/04/2020 08:49

Builders are allowed to work though. There are lots of non essential businesses open right now, this is no different.

GreasyFryUp · 05/04/2020 08:49

I've got work that needs doing but no way am I getting anyone in at the moment. I also need a tree felling but the Arboricultural Association is telling tree surgeons not to do work and that's outside.

Original poster
navteexo · 05/04/2020 08:50

@dontdisturbmenow breaking the wall between the garage and the living room. We told him not to even bother back in january because we have a newborn, so the works need to be delayed and he said okay, but went behind our backs and called these guys anyway. Who are now downstairs.

OP posts:
crispysausagerolls · 05/04/2020 08:52

We told him not to even bother back in january because we have a newborn, so the works need to be delayed and he said okay

Is it their house or your house?

icelollycraving · 05/04/2020 08:54

It isn’t good timing obviously but if he doesn’t listen, keep your child (and yourself) well away.
It’s his home so I guess he can do whatever he wants.
You can’t make demands when it isn’t your property but you can make suggestions as it is your home.

Bluntness100 · 05/04/2020 08:54

I will go against the grain, I’m sorry, as long as you all stay away from them, six feet, and then wipe any surfaces there is no risk here.

The economy needs to keep moving, and as long as you practice social distancing from them it’s fine.

Original poster
navteexo · 05/04/2020 08:54

No the work is not an emergency. They want to make more space, so theyre knocking the wall. Ive just seen thru the window, FIL is helping get their tools out the van. Not 2m apart.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 05/04/2020 08:56

Is it their home op? I also think you can’t keep making demands in someone else’s home. Just practice social distancing. Your father in law is not doing anything against government guidlines, there is nothing that says workmen aren’t allowed in your home and trades need to stoP.

Original poster
navteexo · 05/04/2020 08:56

Mortgage is under husband's name as they couldnt afford it anymore

OP posts:
Original poster
navteexo · 05/04/2020 08:57

Thanks for your replies guys. Seems like i just panicked then

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 05/04/2020 08:59

I’d also not recommend showing him a thread you’ve created online about him doing work in his own home. You may find you aren’t as welcome and now is not the time to be trying to find alternative accommodation.

dontdisturbmenow · 05/04/2020 08:59

So you lived there for some time now, why?

Really depends on the situation. Sid you ask if you could move with them and how long were you supposed to stay? Are you paying them rent?

Ultimately it is their house so up to them what they do but again, depends on the circumstances that led to you living with them.

Thehop · 05/04/2020 09:01

He’s a massive idiot but not much you can do.

Who actually owns the house?

Fruitdeleloop · 05/04/2020 09:01

They can't afford their home but they can afford to renovate? Hmm

icelollycraving · 05/04/2020 09:02

They couldn’t pay the mortgage but they can afford building work? Confused
This situation sounds an absolute mindfield.

BessMarvin · 05/04/2020 09:05

I'd be worried about the dust etc with a baby. Oh and also all the extra people potentially bringing the virus with them.

Since you have made it sound like you're making demands of your in laws in their own home lots of people will now likely use this to have a go at you instead of respond to your original question though.

Sushiroller · 05/04/2020 09:10

Your DH took over the mortgage as they couldn't afford it??? Shock
What was your DH thinking???
Your pil should have downsized (if their house can accomodate 6 it is bigger than they needed.)
Presumably you are now trapped in this "half home" situation in a home they treat as theirs + DH while you and your two children are "guests"
You might be okay with it but in your shoes, FIL going around exposing asbestos and knocking down walls with his covid19 carrying mates would the least of my problems.