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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am i breaking lockdown rules ?

153 replies

1ForAllnAllFor1 · 04/04/2020 23:44

Hi all,
I live in a flat with a 2 year old. We previously used to go out everyday to a playgroup where him and another girl got on and played every day. He asks about her every day.

I have been self isolating for almost a month now due to my DH having flu symptoms earlier in the month whixh he recovered from. My son, is absolutely bored at home.

This morning I decided to take him out on his scooter next to our block of flats, towards a Tesco (which I wasn’t going into). It’s a little forest walkway where there is runners and I was respecting all social distancing.

I happened to bump into his friend who he has been asking for everyday, he pointed her out and ran towards her. She was on her scooter too. So me and the mum kept 2 meters apart and we let them run the scooter alongside each other. They didn’t touch or anything.

Part of me felt irresponsible but I was overwhelmed with emotion as this was his normal and it broke my heart to end his happy moment as he has been so lonely and bored at home, but I wonder whether I wasn’t following guidelines?

A man saw us and was loudly swearing and cussing and saying how people like me are behind lockdown not being effective and stricter rules.

It has put me off taking my son out at all. But then I feel confused as this is part of the guidelines.

Am I unreasonable

OP posts:
TimeForDinnerDinnerDinner · 05/04/2020 05:58

May I note to all you saints out there that I’m not a selfish idiot in real life
Well, well, well. That's just dandy then, isn't OP?
What is it you expect people to say in these circumstances?
Is it our absolution you're after?
Or do you imagine that by admitting your mistake on MN you'd get special immunity of some description?
You asked if YWBU. Yes you were. There, you've had your answer. Learn from it don't try justifying it or get defensive and move on.

twinnywinny14 · 05/04/2020 06:04

@WforWumbo of course it’s to protect people. Limiting the number of infections , flattening the curve and reducing the number of hospital admissions will save lives. The less people in hospital the more chance of them getting the care and equipment they need and the less chance of our NHS staff being off ill or dying means more staff to look after people

Lynda07 · 05/04/2020 06:06

Op: "... so me and the mum kept 2 meters apart and we let them run the scooter alongside each other. They didn’t touch or anything."

I see no problem in that. It sounds as though your children were as sensible as you! It wasn't your intention to bump into them, not literally bump :-). Things happen. You're doing your best at a trying time.

HoffiCoffi13 · 05/04/2020 06:16

I would like to make a comment tho. I note that many people are saying this was bad, but at the same time a person asked if she was being unreasonable about that fact she thought the many bbq that was being planned this weekend were bad ideas. She was judged as being unreasonable by 75% of the Mumsnet members who voted- that really blew me away

The thread was about BBQ’s in their own garden, with the members of their own household!! You have completely misunderstood and misrepresented the thread. Absolutely no one said that they were going anywhere other than their own garden with the people they already lived with. Go back and reread it.

sixthtimelucky · 05/04/2020 06:23

There's always a grumpy man/woman who shouts at OP or her kids in these threads. Yes that totally happened, OP.

Look, instead of people looking for ways around this shit, or trying to get people to understand whey they HAD to flout the rules, just, you know, stick to the rules.

Yes it's hard but you should have yanked your kid straight back, waved at the mum and kid cheerily and shouted out 'let's do a FaceTime later so they can chat'. Done and done.

LagunaBubbles · 05/04/2020 06:45

It's very plainly clear though, that people are enjoying the little power trips they can now go on about how virtuous they are a little too much

If it saves lives that's all that matters. Becayse people's selfishness and stupidity are costing lives. One minute I'm getting clapped by the nation for being a hero, next minute it's a "power trip". You really don't have a clue what's going on.

Notpanickingjustyet · 05/04/2020 06:50

The 'underlying health issues' is starting to grate on me.
I have 'underlying health issues' but would expect, under normal circumstances, to love another 40 years.
It's a killer virus. End of.

Notpanickingjustyet · 05/04/2020 06:51

live

But love works too!

Pondlife87 · 05/04/2020 06:54

I think the best way to gain perspective is to ask yourself what the world would look like if everyone made the same decision you made. I know it's hard to see yoir child down, but o guarantee most children feel the same at the moment x

Eyewhisker · 05/04/2020 07:08

I can’t believe most people here. The mums kept 2m apart. The kids were on scooters and were apart most of the time. It wasn’t planned but an accident. No need for all the digs.

AlphaIndigo · 05/04/2020 07:11

@1ForAllnAllFor1 You said you knew it was wrong but couldn't say anything. You probably just need to work on your ability to speak up for yourself and your son. It's not a case of worrying about being rude anymore. Just do the right thing each and every time and find your voice if you need to.

TryingToBeBold · 05/04/2020 07:17

So
Comments on here are vile and some of you should truly be ashamed of yourselves. Keyboard warriors through and through.

OP weve been on lockdown for just short of 2 weeks (was it Tuesday? What day is it today?!).. so the likelihood is is that if either parent or child had it then you'd be showing symptoms or.. recovered (hence isolating for 2 weeks if you live with some who has it).
Therefore although you made a mistake you do not deserve the abuse you're getting

You're about to work as a nurse and risk bringing this virus home. So your son will be at risk therefore the thing you did wrong was exposing the other mum and child to the virus (if you did have it).

OP has acknowledged she made a mistake. End of.

IrisAtwood · 05/04/2020 07:28

There are some thoroughly nasty and cruel comments in this thread. There is no need for it!

A woman took her child out for a walk and the child ran over to another child and people on here are behaving as if she’s Typhoid Mary and has taken a job as a cook in an orphanage.

Mistakes happen and OP, I hope that you carry on taking your child out for some fresh air and exercise. Please don’t take any of these horrible posts to heart. You are doing your best, like most of us and the very fact that you’re worried tells me all I need to know about how seriously you are taking the advice. 💐

LagunaBubbles · 05/04/2020 07:28

can’t believe most people here. The mums kept 2m apart. The kids were on scooters and were apart most of the time. It wasn’t planned but an accident. No need for all the digs

And still there are some people not getting the rules and guidelines. Even if the kids were 2 metres apart which obviously won't be true, they're kids, this is still against the guidelines. These guidelines have been set in place to save peoples lives. Bending them will not help this.

IrisAtwood · 05/04/2020 07:38

against the guidelines

And the bullying and abuse of the OP helps this how? She knows she made a mistake and was seeking some reassurance along the lines of ‘Yes, you made a mistake, but we know that you were doing your best.’

Fallsballs · 05/04/2020 07:39

I think, if you accidentally break the distancing rules ffs DO NOT POST ON MN unless you’re a masochist.

Ylm189 · 05/04/2020 07:40

I think you’ve posted about this hoping for responses that would make you feel what happened was excusable. If you “let them run along side each other” as you said, then they weren’t 2 m apart most of the time.
Maybe the man shouldn’t have berated you but at least it’s you’ll be more aware next time.

DisappearingGirl · 05/04/2020 07:41

Yes it technically broke the rules and you probably shouldn't allow it again.

However if they just scooted past each other a few times in the open air and didn't touch then the chance of having passed anything on is likely to be extremely small, probably much smaller than from popping to the shop.

I would make a plan for how to redirect your DS if you see them again - but don't stop taking your toddler out for exercise - and don't beat yourself up!

ScissorsBike · 05/04/2020 07:42

I think it's fine, OP.

Redwoodmaz · 05/04/2020 07:43

My son is now an adult BUT if he was the same age as yours, there is NO WAY I would be risking his heath by possible exposure to this deadly virus! 2 metres is the minimum distance if you can't avoid being near others.

DCIRozHuntley · 05/04/2020 07:47

YABU to post about it on Mumsnet. You must know you broke the guidelines. You're not supposed to meet up with other households and you're not supposed to pass within 2 metres of non-household members. Why you'd do both those and then post about it here I'll never know, you were bound to get a roasting.

In real life there are sometimes accidents and indiscretions. Just learn from it and move on.

CheeseCrackersAndWine · 05/04/2020 07:47

Why do people always point out ‘but they had underlying health conditions’ as if that makes it ok?

A 5 year old died. Why is saying they had underlying health conditions some sort of justification for people not to have to worry about them or their children catching COVID-19?

RingtheBells · 05/04/2020 07:51

YABU for posting a question on here that will bring all the nutters out again or maybe that is what you wanted

whitedogpoo · 05/04/2020 07:52

Not sure that following the rules makes you a nutter Confused

PinkFlamingo888 · 05/04/2020 07:54

*TryingToBeBold

So
Comments on here are vile and some of you should truly be ashamed of yourselves. Keyboard warriors through and through.

OP weve been on lockdown for just short of 2 weeks (was it Tuesday? What day is it today?!).. so the likelihood is is that if either parent or child had it then you'd be showing symptoms or.. recovered (hence isolating for 2 weeks if you live with some who has it).
Therefore although you made a mistake you do not deserve the abuse you're getting

You're about to work as a nurse and risk bringing this virus home. So your son will be at risk therefore the thing you did wrong was exposing the other mum and child to the virus (if you did have it).

OP has acknowledged she made a mistake. End of.*

Are you stupid!? If the chances of any of them catching anything are so slim should we all just go back to normal then? The OP doesn’t have a clue where that other child has been and as their mother doesn’t seem to worry I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve been in contact with others before.
The rule is no social gatherings of more than 2 outside of your household. This includes seeing friends out and about and keeping 2 metres away. You should not be gathering in a group. If you see a friend you can wave quickly and turn the other way. The rules are not difficult, the virus is still killing people. If you cannot handle them stay in your houses.