To still TTC amidst all this

[jennylouisaa]

Already posted elsewhere but posting here for more advice!
Me and my husband have been TTC for a year. It's been a tough journey so far and as my husband is older than me, we've felt a bit like we're running out of time. Not physically, but doesn't want to be pushing fifty and have a newborn!
If it were you, would you carry on TTC? It's a scary time, but it's hard to give up on something that you want so badly. I know it might be best to wait till this is over, but who knows when that will be

At 30 I'd wait a year and then reassess

If you have no immunity you cant pass it to your newborn, and thats all they have for the first few months. So I think I'd wait for 18 months if at all possible.

At your ages I’d wait

Contrary to what you think 50 isn't anything like Zimmer frame time. (I know you were sort of joking, but it really isn’t old!).

Late nights are harder as you get older for some, but 47 or 52 there’s not much in it.

I wouldn’t choose to be pregnant when everything is like this. I’d wait until it was a less stressful time.

My DH is 41 and I'm 28. He's refusing to ttc. It took us years to have our DD as he had male factor infertility. I'm heartbroken but he won't be swayed. A Gynaecologist friend of ours advised us to wait as the strain on NHS resources won't make for a good pregnancy experience, particularly if you may have a pregnancy related illness. I have HG when pregnant and with my DD was hospitalised weekly so logically I should wait but it does make me very sad. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

We’ve been TTC for 9 months with no luck so far. We’re going to keep trying and deal with whatever happens when the time comes. It’s not ideal but that’s what we’ve decided to do. It feels too risky to wait when we have no idea when this will end.

@jennylouisaa :) Thank you. It’s a hard call to make. My advancing age means that I would have found it hard to wait another 12-18months and realistically there won’t be a vaccine before that point. It’s a risk and I’d rather have waited another few months to see what new evidence emerged but ended up pregnant anyway. I’m not so worried about antenatal care as it will always be treated as a priority by the NHS. Once I’m through the first trimester I’ll relax as that’s when any potential birth defects would be likely to occur (although still extremely unlikely and no evidence for it so far!)

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Hi op, I am in a similar boat TTC #2

We had a MMC 14 months ago and been TTC Ever since, I'm.not sure I can stop especially as this has delayed my DH semen test and my blood tests and scan to check fertility issues.

I also work away alot so being home the correct time is very helpful

On the other hand I dont want to go to scan alone etc..

I know I've not helped answer but at least you know you aren't alone in being worried.

This is the link to the latest guidance from the RCOG:

www.rcog.org.uk/en/guidelines-research-services/guidelines/coronavirus-pregnancy/covid-19-virus-infection-and-pregnancy/

My DH and I stopped ttc , if I manage to conceive I would need more hospital appointments than most people.
Then there's the whole only the mother being allowed for scans etc, I don't want my DH to miss that .

I know this has probably been said before but people have been pregnant, given birth and raised children in way worse scenarios all around the world since the dawn of time. People carry out their own risk assessments.

I definitely wouldn't wait! Life goes on. TTC. Sending baby dust your way.

I have decided to continue with not preventing. We suffered a 12 week loss in late January (a few days before the first case was announced in the UK). We had been trying for a year and a half before that pregnancy, because I have PCOS. So we are just not going to prevent because this won't last forever, and it could easily take another year for me to conceive again anyway.

We are going to continue trying, we have been trying for getting on for 2 years. I’m cynical we will get anyway but at least we know we tried

All the posters saying 30 is young enough to wait this out . . . we know much more know about the decline in male fertility after 40 than was previously understood. Risk of autism and mental illness increases in relation to paternal age, too. I'm not saying this to worry the OP, just that it needs to be factored in with the other risks when considering if and how long to wait.

Personally, OP, I am pregnant after years of infertility and don't regret being pregnant now for a second! Perhaps in your shoes I might wait a month or two to see if the virus peaks in April as predicted. But a year or 18 months is a long time to wait even before starting the process. You can't control or plan for every risk in the process of TTC and having a baby. It's good to be informed and to have weighed the risks, but having done that, I always think it's better to make decisions from a place of hope than from a place of fear. xx

I'm 40 at the end of the year and currently 32 weeks' pregnant. Obviously we had no idea at the time of ttc we would be in this situation but still I'm glad I didn't wait.
We expected it to take a little while for me to fall - was pregnant the first month of trying!
It is a very scary time and I'm now having to employ an independent midwife as my NHS home birth has been pulled and I'm not willing to labour in hospital. My antenatal appts are mostly via telephone now so luckily I remain low risk.
But a huge factor in our original decision to start trying was of course my age. If I was younger and considering ttc now maybe we would have waited a little while longer although of course you'll be looking at least nine months down the line when hopefully things will be better.
And every cloud... we were planning to get married early April this year but decided to ttc first!!

PS. My third baby, fiancé's first and last!

It’s a really tricky one but I’d also wait at your age. I know that might not be what you want to hear! But imagine if the worst were to happen and you had an ectopic pregnancy or a miscarriage at the peak of this crisis. Obviously I hope that would never happen, but you need to think of all the possible outcomes, however unlikely, and assess how the current situation would affect that. I know I wouldn’t personally want to risk it at this time if I didn’t have to (I’m due in June and very worried!)

Thanks for your opinions everyone, it's really helpful! I'm still in two minds about what to do, but really respect what everyone is saying.

I’m 12 weeks pregnant. This is my third pregnancy and I wouldn’t say it is particularly more stressful being pregnant at this time. I guess I’m thinking things will be much improved by the time the baby is born. It has been a bit of a shame that my husband hasn’t been able to come to scans. The hosptial has been so quiet when I’ve been and all staff using PPE and careful distancing where possible.

I would probably be a little more concerned if I were due to give birth within the next month, when the peak of the outbreak is predicted.

A positive is that I have been able to rest and work from my bed during the tiring first trimester.

If I were you I would probably still go ahead, my husband is older than me and I get the thing about not wanting them to be too old- but I can see reasons why people would choose not to.

I think that healthcare needs to be prioritised for the existing population.

If you e.g have a premature baby there are no guarantees that e.g. there will be space or even staff availability in the SCBU. Added to which if you have a MC or ectopic the care just won’t be available.

partner not being there for scans, birth etc would be a minimum thing for me but the rest is far more relevant.

Also, if you catch Corona while you might not pass it on to your baby your health could mean detremental impacts on that baby or having to make plans for a newborn if you’re out of the picture.

Nope. I really wouldn’t.

I also think that most people who have actually had a baby wouldn’t. I read a meme the other day that said “if there’s a baby boom in the next nine months they’ll almost certainly all be first-born.” .

@AlternativePerspective ha I've read a lot about there being a baby boom. My thought is, if even people like myself who have been desperate and trying for a while are considering stopping trying, surely the rest of the population will be super careful!

Definitely carry on!

I personally would wait as I was VERY sick during my pregnancies and I wouldn't want to be in hospital right now.
But ultimately this is your decision, you and your partner have to weigh up the pros and cons.

I would carry on. Babies are still being born and will continue to be so. X

Reading the latest rcog guidelines makes me even more certain that nobody would surely choose to get pregnant at this time?

This is my second pregnancy, but have had two miscarriages in the past and struggled to get pregnant for years (we had fertility treatment). I am so stressed about getting the virus. I honestly think you should hold off - at least until there is more research about exactly what the effects are on pregnant women/unborn babies.

I know how hard it is to wait, but this is a terrible time to be pregnant.