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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my 8yo ds sleep in my bed?

54 replies

blubberball · 01/04/2020 20:19

He sleeps in his own bed on school nights or if my bf stays over. But he has taken to sleeping in my bed recently, and as there's no school and no bf, I don't mind.

Does any one else allow their dcs to do this? Or should I be stricter about it?

OP posts:
Goingfarawsy · 01/04/2020 20:20

Yes co sleep with an 8 yr old boy - live it

Goingfarawsy · 01/04/2020 20:20

Love

Cohle · 01/04/2020 20:21

I'd be worried about it affecting his relationship with your boyfriend, and indeed you, if he begins associates rejection with your boyfriend's presence.

Original poster
blubberball · 01/04/2020 20:22

He has SEN if that makes any difference. Even though he is 8, he's around 6 in his development.

OP posts:
Original poster
blubberball · 01/04/2020 20:22

Ah OK. That's a good point. So I do need to be stricter.

OP posts:
Bibijayne · 01/04/2020 20:28

At the moment, with all the way uncertainty and anxiety about, I'd let him cosleep.

TAKESNOSHITSHIRLEY · 01/04/2020 20:28

i co sleep with a nearly 10 y old(well in july)hes been in my bed since birth,never had his own bed or room

he does have complex needs though so is with me for his safety and extreme anxiety at night

ive been with my one and only partner nearly 21 years but havent slept with him since 03 as i co sleep with my oldest first then youngest replaced him

EmeraldShamrock · 01/04/2020 20:34

Night time snuggles are lovely, like a pp said I'd worry he'll feel rejected for your boyfriend when he can't share those nights with you. It is giving him mixed messages.

Original poster
blubberball · 01/04/2020 20:34

Well this is true. These are strange times indeed.

OP posts:
Onescaredmuma · 01/04/2020 20:38

Slept with all three of mine last night 7, 5 and 2 DH working nights. 7 and 5 year old in with me now watching a film although they are not sleeping In here tonight quilt stealing squirmy kicking little monsters I'm exhausted and need some actual sleep tonight.

neversleepagain · 01/04/2020 20:48

My 7 year old twins are currently sleeping with me, they're a bit anxious at the moment understandably so I am going with it. I have one of each side of me, dh relegated to the spare room.

Basilandparsleyandmint · 01/04/2020 20:52

My Dd wanted to come I your bed last night for cuddles —is lovely and we fell asleep with her. She won’t want this much longer so am enjoying while she still wants too

Home42 · 01/04/2020 20:52

My 9 year old DD sleeps in with me when she can. I make her sleep in her own room occasionally. I’m not arguing in the current circumstances.

bobstersmum · 01/04/2020 20:54

Our 7 year old with additional needs sleeps with us mostly. Simply because it means we all get sleep.

Sally2791 · 01/04/2020 20:58

Absolutely fine. Really important that the children feel secure whatever their age. My youngest slept my bed most nights from age 10-13 after being upset by (now x) h behaviour. He seems well balanced these days.

WoahThereMama · 01/04/2020 20:59

It’s strange and unsettling times for the young ones especially with the schools being off snd their normal routine out the window. If it makes him feel safer and more secure I don’t see an issue with it. Co-sleeping won’t last forever.

cakeandchampagne · 01/04/2020 21:01

It is one of the most comforting things you can do for a child.

Campervan69 · 01/04/2020 21:03

My 8 year old has slept with me since he broke his arm years ago. He finds it comforting. They are not little for long. My older boys have long outgrown it.

DumpedByText · 01/04/2020 21:04

My 13 year old DD has been getting in with me, think it makes her feel better with all this madness going on.

He's only 8, let him cuddle up with his mum.

MrsPworkingmummy · 01/04/2020 21:05

My 8 year old DD will fall asleep in her own bed (if an adult reads a story), but she comes into our bed every night. We are bothered by it, but we all need our sleep and this is one way we'll definitely get it.

Chrisinthemorning · 01/04/2020 21:07

DS7 in bed with me every night since school finished. He’s really struggling with it all. If it comforts him to snuggle with Mummy, what’s the harm?

milkysmum · 01/04/2020 21:09

My 8 year old son goes often gets in with me, more so recently which I think is understandable. I have no problem with this at all 😊

QuayboardWarrior · 01/04/2020 21:19

My 10yo DD and 8yo DS either sleep with each other or their 13yo DSis or when DH is on nights, they work out between them who's turn it is to sleep in with me. All the kids have double beds because most nights they'll be snuggled up together. Sometimes the kids will ask me to sleep in their bed and the other will go sleep in with dad. We're a very close, snuggly family and because of this closeness our three kids get on like a house on fire.

MarginalGain · 01/04/2020 21:22

My 17 and 14 year old are sleeping with me at the moment. Honestly.

rjebgf · 01/04/2020 21:22

I’d definitely let him. We have a strange attitude to cosleeping and bed sharing in this country.

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