To think we need to move?

[Springfresh791]

Hi! This is my first post, but I’ve always found these threads so helpful so here it goes...

We are married and own our own home. We were very fortunate to get very good value for money when we bought our house and bought it with the view that we would not need to move when we decide to start a family. It’s probably not our forever home, but definitely big enough for our needs for now. We have, however, recently discovered that our neighbour has been convicted of pedophilia. He received a suspended sentence, so is still living there with his family, who have apparently decided to stand by him. I am really struggling with anxiety as a result of this, as while we are not trying for children right now, it is certainly on the cards in the next couple of years and we didn’t envisage having to move before that next step. I suppose I’m asking, am I being unreasonable in feeling that we will have to move before we decide to start a family? I just feel a bit in limbo and feel that this has massively put our plans on hold. I also feel really angry that we are in this position.

This is really tricky. But knowledge is power in this case, you know what he's been convicted of. There are thousands of sex offenders out there, some convicted, sone not, most that you will never know about. You could move and be next to similar or worse.

If his conviction was in the local news, did it also publish his conditions ?

am i in the minority here?

I think you are in a safer position staying than moving to....where?? how will you know

at least there you know!! i would make sure he knows that i know....i'd have a conversation if necessary!

i say this as an ex officer who left the force in 1992 after a child murder i worked on in Finchley left me traumatised (i was newly pregnant too)

over the years i've been in proximity with offenders but at the time had no idea,3 in total, but no idea how many unknown. so i would rather know that one neighbour is a sicko and the other side is unknown

also you cant control who moves to be near you

YANBU to be worried/horrified disgusted. The same thing happened to us, was horrified to discover in the local newspaper that a neighbour was convicted of downloading tens of thousands of category 4 images - the worst of its kind involving babies. He was spared jail and allowed to live without restriction because he had never attempted to approach a child in real life that they know about. His wife was the one who reported him and left with their dc immediately. Luckily he doesn't overlook our garden but I feel sickened to the core when I see him.

long term though i would not want to stay i dont think.....as low level tends to escalate (as in the case i was on)

i would be too obsessed with what he's doing/where he is etc and wouldn't be comfortable going out leaving my child with a partner etc....

Your while neighbourhood will be watching if him. If he doesn’t move himself for anonymity, I reckon you are safer there than elsewhere. It’s not as though you’d ever trust him or his family. By the time the kids are old enough to go out on their own that’ll be years away.

Anyone who is comfortable with this is a liar. You home is your sanctuary and you don't want neighbour issues invading it.

I would find it hard to stay there. I wouldn’t let it stop you starting a family though as you know you can protect your child. At least you know. That’s useful information to have. If he’s identified he may not stay.

I'd definitely move!
Fuck living next door to a pedo.

Move if you feel like this. Although it's more for the creep factor and not enjoying being in your own surroundings. I think you and any future children would be safe because he is known to everyone in your area (they might end up moving because of this and get people giving him a hard time) But I hope you would tell anyone who has kids or a couple that may potentially want kids that may be interested in buying who lives next door.