Teacher rang regarding home learning

[OntheWaves40]

DS (14) teacher rang, didn’t speak to me just to DS. I could hear conversation and it was along lines of, you should be sticking to school schedule, you need to finish my subject for last week even if it takes you to 5pm.
DS was working yesterday until 8pm as he was every day last week. We don’t get enough down time. He watched one film last week for 2 hours.
DS was apologetic and said he’d get straight to it. I wish DS would have explained to teacher he was working flat out but DS isn’t confident enough to.
AIBU to think this teacher is wrong to call at home to push pressure on DS?

To get back to your son, it may well be that he just doesn't yet have the skills to work unaided as yet so work he could do in half an hour at school may take ages because he doesn't know the parameters. It sound like he needs to stop what he's doing, it's not working and will become self-defeating. It sounds like he needs a few 'wins', get his confidence in his ability back on track, some guidance on precisely what has to be done on each task and a time limit. Some positive reinforcement from school in the short-term and he'll fly much quicker. It is a huge leap from directed to remotely directed learning and he can't just know what to do. I'd step in, speak directly to that teacher if poss and set some short-term achievable goals. That way he will flounder less and learn more. Good luck.

Agrew with @Straysocks

There are productivity apps, such as Pomodoro or forest which might help.

Agree, not agrew.

I’m so shocked at what I’ve read on here.

DD is year 9. They’ve set a wide range of subjects on Doddle for them to do fairly as they please - as and when. They’ve emailed us to ask for the kids to do 15 maths questions each day.

Aside from this DD is relaxing, exercising, doing the odd online dance class, and mostly FaceTiming with her friends. Right now I consider her time chatting with friends most important of all. Schoolwork is a couple of hours a day when she feels like it.

Her happiness and well being are more important right now and her school appears to be supporting that whilst keeping revision and basics ticking along at a fair pace.

During a crisis such as this, I’m shocked that some children would be forced by school or parents to work long stressful school hours. This time will pass and the children will catch up - but if their MH suffers now it could take years to regain.

No, children don't always need 'routine'. That's what adults say about children when they want them to get on with things without fuss. Some children thrive on routine, others don't. A fourteen year old is nearly adult, certainly going through teen hormones, and will have a very differing emotional response to this crisis, fully able to be as worried as an adult compared with a 6 year old (who may be upset in a different way). If doing school work is stressing your child and making them upset right now, and they are normally good studiers without major issues, why pressure them? There was a very good thread recently about how, when a parent dies, all the adults around them state it's very good for them to have a routine and put them back into school immediately. For some this works, for others it is not right at all and the disconnect between their upset/distress and what they are required to do (act completely normal) is too much. A bit of slack cut now is NOT a big deal in the scheme of things and phoning students is not necessary at all IMO.

The UK hasn't got schooling and mental health balance right at all. Encouraging work, routine, engagement with education= all sensible. Insisting temporarily anxious teens do irrelevant homework when they are already working quite hard=not sensible.

The sooner the teachers realise that Ofsted isn't going to measure their performance during this time, the better. We don't have to have a completely performance-in-exams oriented school system.

Diesel yes kids need to learn life skills, to concentrate, routine etc you also need to take into account that every family's dynamic is different. Some family's will have several kids, different ages, some have parents working from home In some family's there's children with severe disabilitys and needs to care for. Some famills have family members in hospital, some sadly passed away. Some family's have no Internet access and some share devices between several people. No amount of setting a routine changes tne fact that all these affect how a child can concentrate esp when there's no escape for anyone to another place at the moment. Our children and teenagers will come thro this with more resiliance and life skills than ever before but it won't be because they set a timetable and did school work.

Given the year your DS is in.. is he being set more work than usual?
Because if he manages to do all the work in a school day, why is it such a struggle now? (Aside from essentially starting late) is it lack of focus or motivation?

@ElloElloVera

Please explain how is it damaging this boy's mental health to phone up and ask if he is completing his schoolwork. You don't think the teacher should check in with him and ask if he's having problems? Wouldn't it be a lot more stressful if there were no contact with school?

Unlike your daughter, this boy is in an exam year. His life will be a hell of a lot more stressful if he doesn't get the grades he is capable of and his life chances are affected as a result. Perish the thought, but wouldn't it occur to you that teachers want the best outcomes for the kids they teach?

If you're financially well off and can afford to support your kids in any choices they make, that's different. You can shield them from anything that's too demanding.

Schools do need to keep an eye on students they feel are “falling behind”. In this case doesn’t seem like he is doing it intentionally. I would write an email to teacher and CC in the head of department and the head of year explaining that the work is too much and he has to stay up late to complete. The email address should be on school website. If not in subject line write FAO name

Maybe they can give him an extended deadline - Easter is coming up so maybe he can catch up with any missing work then.

@my2bundles

Yes, I understand where you're coming from. But does any child in the country have a perfect home life?

"Our children and teenagers will come thro this with more resiliance and life skills than ever before but it won't be because they set a timetable and did school work."

You're talking in the abstract about the many problems that kids could face at home. I don't know how many, if any, that you have experienced personally. For me, school was the only escape I had. A timetable and set work would have saved me in these circumstances.

@SuckingDieselFella I didn’t say the teacher ringing the boy was damaging his mental health. Please re-read my post. I was simply saying I’m shocked at all the pressure some children are being put under. DD is doing her GCSE’s already but I think a balance needs to be struck. We are only in week 2 ish depending on when school shut for you.

I actually work in a school and think teachers do an amazing job. My DD’s school are fantastic at supporting kids whilst also expecting high achievement from all. I’m just saying that this is an unprecedented time and MH needs to be balanced.

You seem to have read a lot into my post and seem very angry. I’m not wealthy so no clue why that came up in your post. Either way please understand that you’ve taken my post very wrongly.

I'm not sure why you are posting MN rather than just ringing the school TBH. I don't mean that unkindly but really the only people to discuss this with are the teacher/s involved.

I also think my DS's school is setting too much school work. Basically full lessons for every subject. I would prefer that they do less and just continue through the Easter Holidays.

Six hours school work at school really doesn't equal six hours school work at home.

It takes far longer at home. Just practical things like sharing a laptop, trying to print work, working out which book you need and what online stuff you need to look at, keeping devices charged etc

@Nearlyalmost50

I've been polite up to now but there's no polite way of saying this. You haven't got a clue what you're talking about. The way you bring up your own children doesn't give you authority to pontificate on the education system. Academia and schools are completely different environments. I may not have a PhD but even to me this fact is blinding obvious.

I’d also be perfectly happy if school ring. If they do I know it’ll be supportive. They’ve also sent us many posts outlining that we are a school family and they are there for any student of parent that has worries of any kind, not just school. DD’s school is amazingly good.

@ElloElloVera

"You seem to have read a lot into my post and seem very angry."

May I suggest you take your own advice and re-read what I wrote.

I'm not sure why you think it's helpful to insult me.

@SuckingDieselFella please point out my insult? Reading your other posts I’m slightly concerned about you. I hope you’re ok.

Legally, schools are closed. They don’t have a leg to stand on. You get to make choices that are in your child’s best interest. Complain!

Diesel great if that's what worked for you, YOU in your situation. In answer to you my family has experienced every situation I detailed over the last few years, my son is a hard worker, top sets etc however this current situation will make him a stronger person but it won't be school routine that does that it will be how his family pulls together and helps each other thro this tough time. Like I said what worked for you is great, don't assume it's tne answer for everyone right now.

Sometimes teachers may do this just to check everything is ok and if there's anything they can do to help.

I don't think it is the same as a teacher speaking to a pupil at school and in any other circumstances it would be a safeguarding concern for a teacher to call a pupil outwith school on a mobile. School should have contacted parents to inform them of the new policy.
OP email the teacher. Explain DS is working but he's struggling with workload and you're struggling to support him. See what they suggest. (You do need to be honest about how many breaks he's having and how much exercise time).

OP I think you’ve got enough replies now. Take the advice and comments here and decide what to do. It’s your child so you’re the best judge if it’s too much. Goodluck.

I recommend anyone feeling their child’s school isn’t offering suggestions but instead is trying to impose work should read this www.home-education.org.uk/resources-sc-legal.htm

@oncemore thanks for that info it’s useful. Thank you