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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Forced fun at work

94 replies

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 31/03/2020 09:44

Since we've all been WFH my boss has made it his mission to force us all to have 'fun' at work. Things like daily quizzes, film yourself doing something ridiculous and post it to the Whatsapp group, wear silly headgear for the weekly team video call. I'm finding it all a bit draining. I know his heart's in the right place but I constantly ignore everything and he's making me feel bad. I'm the oldest in the team by nearly 10 years and I feel like the old grumpy one, but FFS really?! AIBU not to be arsed with this rubbish?!

Tell me what your teams are doing to keep spirits up and lets see if I can make some constructive suggestions to improve the current silliness!

OP posts:

Winterwoollies · 31/03/2020 09:54

Oh bless him. He’s trying to keep everyone gee’d up.

Continue to good-naturedly ignore the requests. Or randomly join in but do so in a deadpan way without any reference to it at all, which would probably be hilarious. And then go back to ignoring it.

He shouldn’t be forcing people though.

As a last ditch attempt, fake a coughing fit on camera, chances are he’ll stop nagging you.

BadLad · 31/03/2020 09:59

my boss has made it his mission to force us all to have 'fun' at work. Things like daily quizzes, film yourself doing something ridiculous and post it to the Whatsapp group, wear silly headgear for the weekly team video call

Is this him?

ABadlyShavedYeti · 31/03/2020 09:59

This is my idea of hell, i hate forced fun, its just not fun and is actually cringey. Our work was doing a virtual cake day for us all to dial into and show pictures of our cakes, my manager wanted us all to dial into it, it is voluntary but she made it mandatory for our team. I didnt dial in, nothing was said.

If you are forced to do it then its not fun.

Original poster

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 31/03/2020 10:04

Thank God it's not just me being grumpy....and yes, the resemblance to David Brent is scary! I fear we have many many more weeks of this...

OP posts:

Flightsoffancy · 31/03/2020 10:08

YANBU. I've been added to a whole staff WhatsApp group, it's dire! I've just hidden it and I understand that some people will need/appreciate the contact. But I don't!

Ifonlywecouldwishuponastar · 31/03/2020 10:09

Our WhatsApp group is funny 😁. Not everyone replies but it doesn't matter not everyone is good with technology.

nevermorelenore · 31/03/2020 10:11

YANBU. Enforced fun at work is the worst. Always seems to be the most bone idle fuckers who come up with this stuff too.

Escapeistheonlyoption · 31/03/2020 10:11

MY DH is 5 weeks into this with his team around Europe. Italy is 3 weeks ahead of us and Spain, Portugaland the Netherlands about a week. Honestly it has got grim in Italy and so they are making sure that they all dial in face to face twice a day as some team members live alone.

They now all try and do something each day- they need to keep the team spirit going and most of them now have children at home and 2 have frontline medical staff partners.

Week 1 was accidental- it became known as grow a beard week

They have had bring you pet to work day. Everyday is now bring your child to work day. How many family can you get on 1 sofa? (that started as a joke as 1 person has several children who suddenly stated appearing each day in the video chats) Dress up day etc etc .

The children now join in and apparently are seeing other children from around Europe. They are now taking it in turns to do tours of their apartments and gardens.

It is 10 minutes at the start of each day. 5 weeks ago it seemed a bit contrived- now it is just part of daily life.

Ivegotnothing · 31/03/2020 10:13

Think yourself lucky....daily video chats here! I have stopped turning my camera on...so far no one has said anything....also the old grumpy one (waves).

goodwinter · 31/03/2020 10:13

I like quizzes, regular non-work calls during the working day, etc. I would NOT be filming myself doing anything!

LaMarschallin · 31/03/2020 10:16

You are not being at all U.

You can't force funny.

The only mitigating circumstances I can think of would involve him being made to do this by his boss.
Is that a possibility?
In which case, I'd sympathise with him for being an arse isn't nearly as bad as knowing you're being an arse but still having to do it.

TotesGodsWill · 31/03/2020 10:18

This has been suggested for my team but not currently happening thank god. There’s only a few of us as most can’t wfh yet, we’re under enough pressure and general stress without the pressure to be cheerful and have enforced fun. They seem to think the “fun” alleviates the stress rather than adding to it though.

renegadeoffunk · 31/03/2020 10:18

yanbu I've worked from home for over a year, the only change for me is that I'm not in one of our offices once or twice a week and my dh is now at wfh.
As a team, we've happily kept in touch by phone, until this lockdown and now we have to conduct all our meetings by facetime.
We also have stupid quizzes coming through on whatsapp and last week one member of the group said he wanted us to come up with something new that we've done to "help us through the pandemic" 3 times a week.

Which is just adding stress because who can think of new things they've done 3 times a week when you can't fucking go anywhere?

saraclara · 31/03/2020 10:18

I constantly ignore everything and he's making me feel bad.

If he tries to make you feel bad, simply say (kindly) that you realise that this is helpful for some people, but that we all cope with the stress of this situation in different ways. That you're glad for those who find this positive, but it doesn't work for you, and being pressured to join in is actually making you feel worse.

Original poster

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 31/03/2020 10:19

Nope, his boss isn't making him do it.

Oh yeah and some of the team calls involve people having their young kids sat on their knees talking to the team. Call me grumpy but I have no interest in my workmates toddlers. My daughter is 16 and would be horrified if I forced her to participate.

OP posts:

SeaViewBliss · 31/03/2020 10:20

You can't force funny.

Absolutely - we have daily calls and every few days, we end up having a funny bit of banter or start exchanging stupid memes but it happens naturally. We pick up on the mood and act accordingly. Some days we are all so stressed that we just cover the essentials and log off. Other days we are there for longer having a bit of a laugh.

moolady1977 · 31/03/2020 10:23

The people I work with have all been furloughed same as me so we have a Facebook chat group and send daft pictures and things I'm joining in and I'm normally the grumpy one

Patch23042 · 31/03/2020 10:26

Can’t bear forced fun. It’s so awkward. I agree with you OP. Silly hats, how cringe-making.

I must confess, I like the idea of toddlers joining the meeting for a short time though. I think it sends a positive, supportive message to staff who are grappling with childcare.

sonjadog · 31/03/2020 10:29

We have daily chats around lunchtime. Sometimes I feel like joining in and sometimes I don´t, but I do anyway as for some people they are their only human contact that day. I wouldn't do fancy dress or anything silly, but joining in a quiz or the like I would do, again not necessarily for me but for those for whom it means a lot.

PeterPanGoesWrong · 31/03/2020 10:34

You are not being unreasonable to feel a bit grumpy, I think we are all feeling a bit strained.

Just carry on ignoring his requests.

I had a similar thing from my employer asking us on Friday to take photos or video of what we did at the weekend to have fun.
I said I’d started a jigsaw, I hadn’t. I said my husband and I had tidied the garden. We had.

So maybe photos of something folks have done at the weekend, to show it’s the weekend. Not too intrusive, could become a photo competition. You all get to vote on composition, interest, subject matter. Pick a winner each Monday. At the end, all weekly winners go head to head.

NotTheMrMenAgain · 31/03/2020 10:37

God's blood - I loathe 'organised fun' . It's been quite a revelation to me that some of my more annoying colleagues are actually even more irritating in a virtual meeting! I'd expected the physical distance to blunt the edge of their awful personalities and 'quirks' but somehow it just seems to throw a spotlight on them. Odd.

Or it might just be that I'm a tired, grumpy, recently bereaved middle-aged woman who doesn't need any of this nonsense.

On the bright side, recent life and world events have made me look at things from a different angle and I'm determined to make some changes after all of this settles down - including changing roles and moving to a different area. So it's not all bad!

Eckhart · 31/03/2020 10:38

What's wrong with grumpy?!

RELISH THE GRUMP!

Enjoy it. Take pride! Grumps of the world, unite! I'm on your team, OP.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 31/03/2020 10:41

I hate enforced fun so much even reading your post has made me feel slightly nauseous.

IT ISN'T FUN. It's like ice breakers on training days and stupid fucking team building activities. NOT FUN. People slate this crap for a reason.

If other people enjoy, good for them and I hope they have a lovely time, but they need to leave me the fuck out of it.

Original poster

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 31/03/2020 10:43

Oh don't get me started on the actual face to face shite we usually have to do in our monthly team away days - thank Christ I can ignore in this situation! It's making me feel like a change of job is required.

OP posts:

LaMarschallin · 31/03/2020 10:44

chocolatesaltyballs22

Nope, his boss isn't making him do it.

No mitigating circs then.

Oh yeah and some of the team calls involve people having their young kids sat on their knees talking to the team. Call me grumpy but I have no interest in my workmates toddlers.

I would definitely not call you grumpy.
I would hate that and also would have no interest in random toddlers.

My daughter is 16 and would be horrified if I forced her to participate.

This might seem cruel, but I think you should ask her to. Just once maybe.

The views of a 16 year old on a load of "oldies"* wearing funny hats and pratting around should wither any such tendencies out of your boss.

*You say you feel like the old one; to her, they'll all be old.

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