Forced fun at work

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

Since we've all been WFH my boss has made it his mission to force us all to have 'fun' at work. Things like daily quizzes, film yourself doing something ridiculous and post it to the Whatsapp group, wear silly headgear for the weekly team video call. I'm finding it all a bit draining. I know his heart's in the right place but I constantly ignore everything and he's making me feel bad. I'm the oldest in the team by nearly 10 years and I feel like the old grumpy one, but FFS really?! AIBU not to be arsed with this rubbish?!

Tell me what your teams are doing to keep spirits up and lets see if I can make some constructive suggestions to improve the current silliness!

Haha love it @thegreatwave....maybe I should start wearing my knickers on my head - given I don't have small kids in the house therefore we don't have that kind of tat hanging around, and going out to shop for it isn't exactly an essential trip!

So he's basically a chilled out entertainer..

May god help you all!

DH is working from home and, like the OP, is a good 10 years the oldest in the team and has this enforced jolliness thrust upon him too.

Yesterday I think they were all supposed to post pics of themselves as babies. I overheard DH saying 'I couldn't be arsed to go digging around the loft frankly'. I assume it was his response to the jolliness. Its slowly turning him into Mr Grumpy.

Your husband sounds like a man after my own heart @thenightsky. Maybe I should go and work with him.

Same here. It's relentless. Includes suggestions to have lunch with everyone over Teams etc. Nightmare.

When you lead a team you need to cater to the majority, to some degree. That doesn't stop it being annoying and cringey and I agree there is WAY too much of it, but people will often not notice or care if you don't join in.

Or you can tackle it with humour. Get a teddy, plant or something and put the funny item on them,
or a mug with some shades on like a face, or a postit saying "knickers" or whatever the challenge is. Just have it static in front of the camera staying out of the pic. But obviously if you don't want to bother, just don't. The games are not really "for" you.

@Villageidiots someone suggested that at my work . If I'm sat in front of my screen all day I'm not going to want to sit and have lunch in front of it FFS! People don;t seem to understand how intrusive WFH can be for those who are not set up for it - no I don't want you in my kitchen scoffing your lunch thanks v much!

Surely a call or activity once a week is enough? Making you do stupid things all the time just sounds cringe.

We’re having a daily informal chat just to see how everyone is. There’s optional events like quizzes and a choir but no one is forced into it. It’s a good balance between staying in touch and checking people are ok and the extra is there for those that want it. This whole thing has highlighted the good managers from the idiots that like the title and money but not the responsibility.

I suspect my boss has naff all to do at the minute....4 separate 'fun' activities on the go. I've actually got work to do (besides MNing, obvs)

@otterturk - PoorlyWeasels you really complained about having to catch a ball...?!

Yes, I certainly did. It wasn't one ball. It was multiple balls (of different weights and sizes) flying around a circle from all directions for about 10-15 minutes, with a load of men who play sport for fun. I am dyspraxic. I would never take a job where one of the tasks was to catch balls, because I can't do it. I don't find it fun. My manager knows I've been having a really hard time lately with my MH, but unfortunately was late to the event and missed it. Was just enough to have sent me over the edge again. We work in a sector supposed to be Disability Aware and inclusive.

And your response is exactly why people with MH issues have such a hard time in the workplace. Just because you find it fun and a bit of a laugh doesn't mean that other people won't treat it like being forced to perform on stage/ at height/ in open water/ add neurosis of choice.

Sounds like hell, I sympathise OP. Your manager sounds well meaning though?

Someone mentioned upthread my worst nightmare, there's no way I'd want to be chatting to whole families on the sofa and taking a tour of their apartments and gardens by their toddler. Horrific.

I think orangecinnamon has it right. I am not used to WFH and I DO find it intrusive to have my colleagues pop up on my dinner table Rachel is a pain in the neck at work; and now she has found her way into my inner sanctuary aswell

He is well meaning enough but he's like some modern day Timmy Mallet trying to jolly everyone along, I just can't be doing with it. As for shared lunch via Zoom, thank Christ he hasn't thought of that one yet.

otterturk would you think it amusing to make someone who has dyslexia so finds reading difficult to stand up in front of a group and read aloud for 'fun'?

Now, substitute 'dyslexia' for 'dyspraxia' and 'reading' for 'catching balls' - still confused or has the penny dropped yet?

I'm experiencing this too. We have a daily team catch up and now also a coffee break everyday. We've been told we should attend a coffee break at least three times a week and there is to be no work talk on it. That's fine if you enjoy that, but I don't look to have my social needs met at work and have never really shared information about my life outside work with colleagues. I'm not going to start now.

I do think it's a kind and thoughtful gesture for colleagues who are stressed about feeling lonely. But I think it needs to be recognised that not everyone falls into that category and that for some people who are perfectly happy on their own, it can be just as stressful and unpleasant to be pressured to join in with enforced fun.

I think these activities are a good thing, for some people, and therefore should be optional.

Dh dialled into a conference call with his clients this afternoon and was rather bemused to find them all playing musical instruments. I handed him dd’s recorder. He gave me a hard stare and took his laptop into another room.

Honestly after 5 weeks you might feel differently,

We are just so happy to see them all well each day (especially those in Milan).

The worst thing about lockdown is that it has become completely implausible to regretfully decline work socialising by saying you’ve got another commitment. It’s not even just work. People keep trying to organise group video calls and I cannot stand the idea but I can’t think of a polite way to get out of them

We've got all sorts of things going now - group WhatsApp chats, three separate weekly Skype meetings for various different teams, and one of the senior managers has started sending a Friday Dad Jokes email to everyone

I had opt out of one of these "fun" Skype sessions today because they started talking about whether or not knows anyone who actually has CV. I do, and she's probably going to die of it, but I didn't think that was the sort of contribution they were looking for, so I just muted them all and went to get some crisps. My boss knows I have quite bad anxiety and I wish he would consider that a bit more when enforcing jollity in general.

You reminded me of this I saw

Posted too soon!

😂 imagine the hilarity.

MONTHLY team away days ye gads 😱

My manager tried enforced fun yesterday - it was really awkward, but he meant well. He doesn’t do it often - don’t think it comes naturally to him, any team bonding activities always feel very formal.

I’ve set a daily catch up for my team and the only rule is that we’re not allowed to talk about work. People are free to join or not join as they wish, but most people join every day unless they have another meeting. It works really well and we all enjoy it - we have a right laugh and it’s actually helped us all get to know each other better and work together better (I have a couple of “awkward fits” in my team) which is a welcome side effect.

One of the managers is emailing us an inspirational (think primary school level) quote daily. We don’t work in a primary school.

Someone started virtual pub quiz, then a challenge re points, today there was something about someone’s hobby. It annoys me that a work email notification pops up on my phone, I check in case it’s important then Delete as soon as I see the subject. It’s a huge waste of my time.

I’m keeping in touch with my team via WhatsApp. None of us has yet descended to the inspirational quotes, for which I’m very grateful.

@PoorlyWeasels We have an annual team building day and I loathe it - it isn't team building at all and only serves to highlight the point that being extrovert, sporty and young is valued over everything else at my workplace including, you know, actual work competency and experience. Three years ago they hired a team of activity organisers to plan the events and they were meant to be inclusive but all that ended up meaning was that you needed to use your brains to solve the problems as well as run around. I knew that I was done with the whole activity and that it was pointless when one of the bosses who was on my team took the only activity that actually got ya talking to each other and therefore actually learning about people we don't usually work directly with and turned it into a card passing activity so that we got the most cards the quickest but then ended up learning nothing about each other - it was so depressing. It peaked for me when I was told to tie a rope around my ankle and that of a colleague and then race up and down the field collecting balls - I have a fused ankle that is riddled with arthritis and an activity like this can cause me real pain and discomfort for days and stop me doing my job as effectively as I'd like and definitely affects my family life. However, the organiser who was super sporty and in her early 20s at most clearly just thought I was fat and lazy and just needed motivating by yelling at me and scoring me harder than anyone else in any groups!!! Not sure what team I was part of that day but makes my ankle twinge just thinking about it! It came to a head for me 2 years ago when I had to leave my 3 month old daughter at home to go on that pile of utter shit for an extended work day of enforced fun and ended up crying to a colleague who I barely knew because dh's asked how I was and I felt trapped and guilty and frankly had been tipped over the edge. I know I wasn't the only one that year and finally we didn't have it last year and I was so happy! The sad thing is that at end of the day we always had a bbq with great food and drinks in the sunshine and our families could join us and that was always the bit where we actually bonded so why not just do the bbq and drinks bit???? Because actually we already like each other a lot and are quite the social network by virtue of having shared work goals, all living in a small community and mostly organically liking each other!!! You can't force people to get along and doing so only builds resentment - I couldn't care less about having to log on fir social events atm - when work is done I want to be with my dc but those online events are a lifeline for some of my colleagues and I wouldn't dream of depriving them of them. Honestly, we just need to live and let live and realise that our differences mean that we all bring unique qualities to the team that should all be valued including maturity and even grumpiness which is usually just healthy cynicism anyway which all work places need at some point in time!!!