To be fed up of being told I am lucky to be still working

[BetsyJameson]

My DH and I, like a lot of people are both still working and coming into contact with lots of people each day. However I keep being told we are lucky to still be able to be out of the house everyday. This is by people who are at home on full pay who will have jobs to go back to. We don’t feel lucky to be risking our health (in our 50’s and 60’s) and that of our DC, one who has health problems. I’m getting fed up of hearing how fed up and bored they are but when I suggest they volunteer to help vulnerable people get their shopping , etc so they aren’t stuck at home, they soon come up with excuses! My DH has already left for work and I’m awake worrying, waiting for my alarm to go off wishing I had a day at home to be bored.

Life sucks for everyone right now, OP. hth

Except farmers, I reckon their lives are almost normal as long as they don't mind no socialising & no holidays, too.

I don’t know everyone’s circumstances and understand that appearances can be deceptive. But the people in real life who have told me how lucky we are know our circumstances and what we have been through and I know them, so that is why I feel that they should just keep quiet and say nothing! It isn’t an easy time for anyone. Thank you to everyone who has commented, I have to go now.

Couldn't agree more OP. Me and my partner both work in food retail so are both keyworkers and we have 2 children who are both going to school 3 days a week. I hate it.

We have had so much stress this past week trying to sort out our rotas so that we can work opposite shifts so there's someone at home for the kids. We've not got a day off together for 3 weeks and we're having to spend a fortune on childcare over the Easter holidays we wouldn't usually have to because we have family help.

I can't sleep for worrying about what happens if we are still on lockdown over the summer holidays. There is no way we can afford to pay childcare for 6 weeks so we will have to use all our holiday leave up. That means then after we've worked out arses off through all this we have no time off until holiday leave begins again next April.

Don't get me wrong, I know staying at home is hard too but I see on social media and my friends doing activities with their kids and we're struggling to get the work school sends home done.

I work in a food shop. Not quite the same situation but we have half our staff off only 2 for covid 19 reasons most of which sound like excuses, I know these people very well. Yesterday I left our group chat as there were 13 messages about what tv that y were watching and how to cope with being bored wtf. It really feels like some are definitely taking the piss. Keep safe op.

My dh works in food distribution and is glad he is in an essential job at this time. He is up at 5, home at 7pm.
It adds normality and structure to our life.

YABU.

I'm an essential worker so still working. I'm immensely grateful that I can spend a few hours a day out of the house. I had a few days off last week. It was painstaking!

Surely most of the people at home ‘on full pay’ are having to work for it, and potentially try and look after their kids at the same time (impossible). Not saying they are in a worse position than you but I imagine they are stressed and trying to manage rather than being bored!

The people who said that to you were rude and talking bollocks.

Lots of people currently AH will unfortunately NOT have jobs / businesses to go back to.

Or will only have them temporarily.

I must admit OP, I am getting fed up with it all. I know not every one is sat at home living the life of Riley on full pay. I know people have lost their jobs and financially ruined. But I hate that I see so many things on social media, people treating it like a bank holiday and I've still got to drag myself off out to work. I'm supposed to 'carry on as normal' when I bloody well can't! As well as working, I'm also being asked to help my vulnerable family members all of the time and somehow look after my kids as well. But the shops are only open now when I'm in work and I can't order anything 'non-essential' (ie anything I need) online! I've been busier in the past month than I have ever been!!

I'm just glad that DH and I still both have money coming in. This is what I keep reminding myself of because I know people who aren't as lucky as us.

I haven't heard this either from our friends either, however if I did I would think it was massively U of them to call me lucky!

My best guess is that your friends have severe financial worries and stress to contend with, and it is coming out in the wrong way. They are looking at you carrying on as normal with some envy, and no doubt the stress of their own situation is clouding their judgement.

I would personally let it go, as this crisis is affecting everyone in different ways and I am sure they are not intentionally meaning to hurt you, that said it might be time for a friendship overhaul.

If you are putting yourself in harms way every day, you are hardly 'lucky'! One would think anyone that actually cared about you would acknowledge the danger, and be worried for you, not hand you a shopping list!

@BetsyJameson Of course YANBU.

Me and DH are in the 'lucky ones' group. Just us 2 living together, good relationship, kids left home, both furloughed on 80% pay, (and can afford the 20% drop,) and able to treat this like a holiday. We also live in an area that is very rural, and can walk for 2-3 miles and not see a soul. We also see people walking down our road with dogs, and get to chat to them (from a safe distance,) and have a big plot around our house/a big garden, to potter around. We also have the people from the Church checking on everyone who lives in our small village.

People having to go out to work (especially the NHS workers risking their health,) are not the lucky ones. Neither are the people with kids at home, and who are living in a flat, or people who are in a shitty/abusive relationship.

Take care of yourself.

You should tell those people to think before they speak. The only people I know who are feeling lucky right now are the 2 that have had confirmed coronavirus and recovered. Everyone else is feeling anxious.

I hear you. I have come off FB and ditched several WhatsApp groups for just this reason.

I am still working. The 80% thing would not apply to me. I am a bank receptionist. Bank worker (not working in a bank) I mean I am called upon as and when needed. Universal credit pay towards my rent but I am not paid for being unemployed. For the past couple of months I wasn't paid anything towards my rent at all because a few months ago I had some pension oaid to me (I had to take it because even if I left it there U/C say it still counts. I paid rent arrears with it, so it has gone now (it really wasn't much).

I thought I would get more work when one of the the receptionists was going to be having surgery on her knees and hips, but that has all changed now!

I am not really sure where I stand but I know if I try to ring U/C theer will be a long queue!

Life sucks for everyone right now, OP. hth

Except farmers, I reckon their lives are almost normal as long as they don't mind no socialising & no holidays, too

I take it you haven't watched the news this morning then, farmers worrying about their crops as there aren't enough people to pick them this summer.

I think we all need to be sensitive to each other’s situations, going to work as a key worker must be very challenging. But sitting at home, even on 80% pay yet knowing you are highly unlikely to have a job to go back to is also very worrying. Many companies just will not recover or have to make massive redundancies when this is over, and for those of us still working but 60+ that is a huge worry.

No one has it “easy” at the moment.

A lot of my friends in the private sector are at home but through no choice if their own. They are either getting 80% of their pay, bring paid 80% by the boss, reduced their hours to 80% or taking unpaid leave. None of them will have a job to go back to if this continues. Therefore you have a choice :-

Go to work and continue to be paid and more likely than not have a job at the end of this or resign or reduce your hours just like the majority of the population are having to do. I think those of us still working should be a little grateful that chances are our jobs will still be there in 3 months time. The government cannot afford to support businesses for longer.

I do feel concerned for key workers who have to go out to work and risk infection. These are worrying time’s.

But I don’t personally know anybody who is sitting at home on full pay twiddling their thumbs.

I’m in a relatively secure public sector job, but am working from home full time (while trying to homeschool two kids). DH is self employed and his business has taken a huge hit in the past few weeks.

Most people are living in a state of anxiety over many aspects of their lives , as far as I can see. We all need to show a bit more compassion.

Frontline a&e here.
Wish worked anywhere else right now.
Financial concerns do not compare to risking yours and your families health.

Not everyone at home is on full pay
Some of us are laid off with no pay and without any idea how long for

So yeah I’d rather be at work

YANBU

My DH is a key worker but not in the NHS or any other 'carer' category so no one cares about the fact he's also keeping the country going.

He didn't join in the clapping the other week.

I'm working from home and I have mixed feelings. I like my job but not my colleagues and was desperately trying to find another job before this hit.

Now I have mixed feelings because on the one hand I know that I am lucky to still have a job in this crisis but on the other, I feel I will never be able to leave now because nothing is advertised at the moment and there will be more competition for jobs too.

People say all sorts of stupid things to make themselves feel better about someone else's situation or in a misguided attempt to make you feel better about it. I've come round to thinking that any sentance that starts 'at least ...' is probably going to be a bit insensitive.

Everyone’s struggling, everyone’s scared, wether they are stuck at home or working. I’m stuck at home despite being a key worker, I’m home because I have 2 DD’s with autism, I’m a single parent so had to make the decision to stay home, my youngest is 14 and she’s severely autistic, she’s pacing up and down crying, she doesn’t understand what’s happening. There are times I wish I was at work the same as people who are working are wishing they are home. I feel guilty for not working and I keep getting people say to me “well I wish I could stay at home and do nothing all day”. Being stuck in is not easy, I can’t even take dd for a walk as there are no pavements here and she has no sense of danger, we are lucky we have a garden so we can get fresh air. I know I haven’t got the fear of com ing into contact with lots of other people, I haven’t got the fear of passing on the virus (I think we have had it anyway) but being stuck in with no adult company isn’t that easy either.

I feel for everyone, I really hope this doesn’t go on too long. Big respect to all those key worker but also the home schoolers who are struggling.

In a hierarchy I feel sorry for

1. the sick
2. those who have lost all their money and will be almost destitute which includes loads who are currently at home - often losing a life's work with no compensation- yes there are loads of them not helped by any Government compensation scheme
3. those at work looking after coronapatients
4. those who are working from home but are magically supposed to be able to look after small children at the same time.
5. those at work getting full pay like my son a grocery delivery driver
6. those like I am working from home with no small children around but with a few coronavirus financial implications - it has probably cost me over £10k+ already in all kinds of different ways but as I am the 6th category on my list I can live with that and the massive new taxes I will have to pay next year.