AIBU to hate the mums in my playground for been tactless rude and racist ?

[pyjamagirl]

OK so a new family has come to our school and they are black they have three DS's.

This should not be a problem but it seems for a few of the stupid women at school it is today the couples youngest DS came running into the yard before his parents and all the mums were going "oh I want one " and patting him on his head so they could feel his hair (Their words not mine)

FFS I just walked away when are ppl going to learn.

I think the words, "I want one," kind of say it all. That's not really a matter of appreciating diversity, is it?

you see, in what op discribes, I can see tactless and rude...I can't see racist...possibly me being ignorant of course...

Oh right. So it's not a phrase round your way to indicate really liking someone? Because it is round here. Maybe I'm just common.

Reminds me of one day when DSs were small and I dropped them off at their prep school. Loads of the kids there were black/asian/mixed race ... whatever/who cares - anyway this woman was walking past when I left the school and she said "Is that a school for darkies?" I couldn't believe it . I came over all snotty and said "No actually, it is a school for those who can afford to pay the fees!" This was only a few years ago - couldn't believe these people still existed. Although my mum always used to talk about the "paki shop" and couldn't understand why I was furious with her whenever she said it.

motheroftwoboys how can cooing over a child possibly remind you of such out and out offensive racism?

But doesn't it suggest that they want one becauese they're cute, dark, have thick, black hair? They weren't saying it about the other kids in the playground.

I'm actually now unsure whether it's racist or not actually. Perhaps it's just curiosity like in the middle east experience detailed below in other post.

playground .. children .. relatively easy chain of thought, bringing back something that had completely gone from my mind. And some people were referring to the original comment as racism. I do not agree but that is my opinion.

I'm off to warmup my spot on the sofa for Hells Kitchen...if anyone wants to join me tomorrow for Jim Davidson bashing then you are more than welcome. Night all.

But doesn't it suggest that they want one becauese they're cute, dark, have thick, black hair?

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Of course. Same as when my friends say it about my nut-brown, green-eyed curly blonde haired child, it's because of all those things. I don't automatically assume that they say it because secretly they're white supremacists, so why would anyone impute bad motives to these women on the basis of one phrase?

wildwoman - about to join you. my own Hell's kitchen will not be in operation tonight as have spent so much time on here!! Dangerous thing mumsnet! Takeaway pizza I think. Good night.

I am white (well, apart from my freckles) and might make a comment like that, but not out of racism, but rather out of memories of my childhood....I LOVE afro's and mostly only dated boys with afros in my teenage years. I also LOVE skinheads and would probably make the same comment about (and want to touch the head of) a boy with a skin head. In fact, my ds has one and other people (including a black woman just the other day) are always coming up to him and feeling his head. Perhaps in your playground it really is meant with malice, but I wouldn't assume that it is in every playground.

YABU

I think it is definitely a little offensive not sure if it is racist.

i think that the "i want one" comment would bother me more than the touching.

Oh! Is this another white trash thread ...?

Is white trash not racist??

stupid i think

BUT my toddler girl has very bouncy curls and people have touched her head and said 'ow shes so cute i wish my dh had not had the snip'

shes white so i dont know if you are maybe taking it too seriously - i think it was misguided attempt at being friendly

My favourite thing about threads like this are all the people falling over themselves to say they knew a ginger child who'd always have people touching their hair or a blonde person being touched in some remote village somewhere. It's just so ridiculous.

Why the fuck are you rehashing so many 15 year old threads!?