AIBU to hate the mums in my playground for been tactless rude and racist ?

[pyjamagirl]

OK so a new family has come to our school and they are black they have three DS's.

This should not be a problem but it seems for a few of the stupid women at school it is today the couples youngest DS came running into the yard before his parents and all the mums were going "oh I want one " and patting him on his head so they could feel his hair (Their words not mine)

FFS I just walked away when are ppl going to learn.

I must admit when I see a newborn baby I tend to respond with "I want one" too, one meaning baby.

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I said about 10 messages previoulsy that I amybe should'nt have said racist but I first posted when I had just come away from it

I just found it annoying that three grown white women should go mad at the sight at this families DS and make such a fuss over him he is a gorgeous little boy but come on if you were a newbie at the school and you walked into the yard to find people surrounding your DS and running their fingers through his hair wouldn't you be annoyed?

I shouldn't have said racist but Ignorant YES

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Have'nt read whole thread, but I do say 'I want one when I see a child with lovely red hair'

DH is ginger and I was convinced we would have at least 1 red hed DC - but alas no

Agree with some earlier comment though, ignorant, not racist.

Idon't want to argue pyjamagirl but I would think what a nice freindly welcome to the school, especially considering the sour faced cows at my dd's school!

well it must just be me then but it wasn'tthat friendly welcome as not one of them spoke to the parents just stood staring as Lo's mum picked him and carried him away as I would have done had strangers been touching my LO

I know I wasn't there so I'm not sure why I'm posting , but that sounds more rude to me. Sorry I'm really not trying to wind you up.

TBH WW when i first posted I was angry that they could show so much ignorance .

I know what you mean pyjama, even if nobody else does. YANBU.

I agree with the OP. The 'I want one' comment is definitely ignorant if not racist- it is the otherness of the child they are responding to, even if in a positive way. The subtext to that is the child is 'not like us'.

yes agreed " I want one" is dumb.

My MIL says this sort of thing all the time. Only she says, "Oh I'd love a pickaninny. They're such chocolate drops." Like black children are some sort of pet. Amazing.

It's a bit Waynetta Slo.

"OI wanna braaaaaaaaan baby"

Slob, that is

I think winky and unquietdad have hit the nail on the head there

You know this is a tricky one.

I understand why you thought it was racist.

There's a whole rank tradition from little black sambo to sweet piccaninnies to Waynetta Slob of patronising black babies.

But I honestly don't think that they realised what they were doing.

Thank you for trying to be sensitive to this issue.

Hugs from Hurly

i'd go for misguided. at least they're not telling their children that black kids smell of curry and you get lice from them (c)my mum 1974.

Yes. At least they're not being toxic about them.

But they're not exactly referring to them as human beings. And I bet they don't feel so fondly about them when they grow up.

It is racist. Racism doesn't have to be a conscious action of hate. Racism can stem (and it usually does) from ignorance.

exactly tmmj

Is that not because in the ME, people hardly ever see blonde hair? I think that's a completely different scenario TBH.

Fascination with different colour and behaving as if a different colour renders you to be as worthy as a pet chinchilla are very distinct issues.. .. . .

Hm...I am really sorry, but reading this thread, and some posts....well...it makes me fear what one is allowed to say at all , especially if the child in question is black or whatever...because apparently you can't say anyhting right...

just remember, have a black neighbour (might be mixed race ...if that is an offensive term...I can't rememebr is it...)anyway, she has a gorgeous little boy, a bit younger then my ys...and I said to her and her mum the otehr day, how cute and gorgeous he is...now, of course I know I say that whenever I see a child I htink is adorable and cute...but for all I know, maybe I was seen as patronising...!

FWIW...when es was little we lived in Cyprus, and people were constantly touching him and his hair, commented on how blond he is how goreous, and whatever....I never even thought of it as annoying, and certianly not as offensive...

I sort of get why it may have seemed out of order, but there was clearly no malicious intent, and really, if we can't say something pleasant about an obvious difference, then what on earth does appreciating diversity mean?

thank the lord for suebaroo! Whay can't I be more eloquent?