Self settling

[JennieRen22]

My 4 month old baby can self settle in the night (I have see n her do it) and sleeps really well however she can’t seem to do it for her naps in the day. Really struggling atm with being in the house all the time. She has 4 naps a day of around 35/40 mins. I’ve altered her awake window and she sleeps back in her Moses basket. Any other tips?

She’s only little, I wouldn’t worry too much about her self settling. Especially if she sleeps well at night!

Is the room too light?

Tbh I wouldn't really worry at this age and if they are sleeping through the night that's amazing!

30 mins is enough to have a cup of tea and do the washing up at least!

We’ve actually just moved her black out blind into our bedroom to try and help. The problem I’m having is I put her down drowsy but awake and she falls asleep but then 2/3 mins later she wakes up this can happen a few times before she actually goes for a nap!

There's a few reasons for this.

Her melatonin levels won't be as high during the day, as it is at night.

She's only 4 months.

4 naps is rather a lot, perhaps 3 decent naps would be better?

Either way, it's a really common problem. It improves with age.

Any reason she has 4 short naps? At 4 months my DC followed something like:

Morning nap around 9.00 for 1hr
Lunch nap 12noon for 2.5hrs
Afternoon nap around 4 for 30min

4 naps is too much. If she wakes at 7am nap at around 9.30 for 45 mins, 12.30 2 hour nap, 4.30 half an hour nap.

She’s 4 months old, this is a lot to expect.

For anyone saying 4 naps is a lot I hope they are saying that positively. Each baby is different. Your issue seems to be getting baby down and extending the baby into the second sleep cycle ( were you aware their sleep cycles are 40 mins). Making sure nappy doesn’t get too chunky and giving a feed or a chew on a teeth if not needing fed ( as some babies need that comfort). I have a 5 month old. However can I ask what the motivation is for getting your child to sleep longer or quicker is(eg crying overtired, personal for you to get more done etc)? It’s normal for them to have the pattern you described and maybe they are trying to stay awake to learn more about the world.

Also want to highlight the reason I ask why is that I might have more practical helpful advice or product recommendations for you

For those who are saying that 4 naps are too many and suggesting a 2/2.5hr lunchtime nap - I'm sure the OP would appreciate tips on what to do when a baby wakes up from their 12.00 nap at 12.30. It's then a long time with an overtired baby til 4/4.30pm.

There's no reason that 4 naps is too much...

My baby is 7 months old (5 1/2 months corrected) and has 4 naps a day of around 1hr each time - plus he sleeps 11-12hours a night. He's followed this pattern since he was around 14 weeks old (7 weeks corrected), although his naps used to be longer of course.

Maybe 4 naps a day is too much some babies - but that doesn't mean it's too much for all babies.

@JennieRen22 - What happens if you leave her to self settle for a nap? My baby went through a phase of waking up too early from a nap (normally around 20 minutes in), I'd just pop his dummy in and stroke his head but then leave him to it and he'd normally just go back to sleep. If he was upset I'd get him up, but you'd know he was only going to be up for 30minutes before he got grouchy and wanted to finish his nap. If it helps, it definitely was just a phase and he's back to proper naps now.

DS never napped for longer than 40 minutes at that age, and I tried absolutely everything to get him to nap longer. Eventually I just went with it, which was less stressful then constantly trying to change the situation. He naturally started napping for longer at about 6 months. Better to just roll with what your baby wants to do i think.

Thanks everyone. Firstly the reason she naps 4 times is a) her awake window is around 1.5 hours and b) she will only nap for 30/35 mins at a time and will not go longer. Normally this is fine for me but the reason I want her to self settle is because I find myself spending 15 Mins a time putting her down for what may only be a 30 minute nap to do it all again 1.5 hours later. Some people may be fine with that I’m not I find it draining. I have been trying to leave her and she gets so worked up I have to pick her up. I think she has also hit the 4 Month regression and the past 2 days will not nap and if she does she wakes a few minutes later wanting to be comforted again.

@Russell19 2 1/2 hours is a very long awake window for a baby of 4 months

I think at that age I thought of it in terms of how many hours my son had been awake rather than how many naps a day. We were probably 3 or 4 but he always fell asleep in my arms after breastfeed, or pram or sling and I left him in the room with me... I quite liked having an excuse to sit and watch Netflix with a drink and snack 🤣

He naps in cot now at 14 months and has been for quite a while but I liked those early days of sleeping on me... Understand that's not for everyone

@JennieRen22 I was just offering an idea.

@JennieRen22 2.5 hours isn't a long time for a 4 month old to be awake at all.

In fact, it's perfectly reasonable. It is for even a 3 month old.

The reason you feel like your baby is tired it because she isn't getting a good chunk of sleep.
The reason she isn't getting a good chunk of sleep is because you're putting her down too soon.

I have a LittleOnes sleep routine for 3-4 months which I found very helpful.

Here.

Like the lady above said all babies are different and if you look at other sleep programmes they say 4 months awake window of 1.5 hours. She starts to rub her eyes and yawn at about 1 hour 15 so 2.5 hours would be way too long for her. The HV said that because she sleeps 11/12 hours at night she will cat nap in the day. The length of nap isn’t the problem it’s the settling part.

Of course!
They definitely are.

It's just that you asked how to solve a problem and a few of us suggested what that problem was.

I can see you don't like the suggestion, and she's your baby so whatever suits you guys.

Best of luck, they are difficult to figure out and I've had three of them! 😊

The length of nap isn’t the problem it’s the settling part.

Just to point out here though, that the two go hand in hand. A baby that's ready for a nap will settle a lot better than a baby who hasn't been awake for long enough.

I appreciate everything everyone has said but people sort of implied I was doing it wrong. I just go off her sleep cues and when she seems tired

She actually cries when I put her down I don’t think she would do that if she was under tired. I was only asking for advice which ‘most’ people have been quite positive and helpful

You're not doing it wrong at all.

As I said, I'm 3 kids in and for the first time I had to rely on a sleep schedule from Little Ones to help me figure out my baby's best sleep times.

My other babies didn't need a routine to follow, they just set themselves up. Despite all 3 being breast fed and the same. As you said - they are different.
I wasn't doing anything wrong, and neither are you.
You just need to tweak a few things that's all.
And just when you get it right for a few weeks the little tinkers grow and change again. You're never doing anything wrong, it's just babies being babies.

I have an older baby and we are currently dropping down to one nap and it's not that easy! I'm not doing anything wrong but it's just adjusting things as they grow.

Best of luck

Try the free huckleberry app - will tell you when to put her down based on when she wakes up in the morning. Absolute godsend

I was only asking for advice which ‘most’ people have been quite positive and helpful.

👎🏻👎🏻 Thumbs down OP. Sorry but I didn't deserve that whatsoever.