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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Daughter walking home from school alone

47 replies

cheesemongery · 29/03/2020 20:28

Posting for traffic as this concerns my decision tomorrow.

DD and I were in isolation on GP advice before the schools closed and lockdown.

It turns out I am a key worker - in the loosest sense of the word. Normally DD would go to her Dads, but he is now presenting symptoms so I spoke to the school and very kindly they are accepting her next week and ongoing if needed.

Work are not happy with me saying I will need to leave site for 20 mins a day to collect her and drop her home saying (as she is year 6) then she should walk home as she did before.

I'm not even sure the school will allow this under the circumstances and also I don't want her to. Police are checking on peoples essential journey's, DD is terrified she will be stopped and also with the streets so quiet I do not want her out there on her own for a mile walk home.

Has anybody any experience of this? Are they allowed to walk home alone (I would think not) is there any legislation? I want to be able to show work that I must pick her up, or I feel like just telling them to stick their job as DD comes first.

Any knowledge gratefully received.

OP posts:

rosiejaune · 29/03/2020 20:30

There is no legislation saying children cannot walk home from school alone.

It is an essential journey. If you are worried she will get stopped, write her a note.

Original poster

cheesemongery · 29/03/2020 20:37

thank you @rosiejaune I'm more worried she'll get stopped by a weirdo whilst the streets are empty (she's encountered a fair few on a normal walk home when the streets are busy), also she's just turned 11 and whilst walking home is an essential journey, she is not prepared mentally to be stopped by police - I'm sure she'd be fine, but why put her through that unnecessary stress.

I do not need to be at work, it is very much a help yourself place. They have insisted only one worker in at a time and cannot close and go for furlough as they are still gaining an income from the public.

I just think they are being unreasonable.

OP posts:

Playdoughcaterpillar · 29/03/2020 20:40

I should think she will be fine. Doubt police will stop a child in an aggressive way! And less traffic so would be safer. I would allow my daughter. 11 in a few weeks. Good practice for high school? But depends if your area is safe I suppose.

Whatdayisit2 · 29/03/2020 20:44

Could school offer a wraparound service? Our after schooo is open fur key workers

RoseGoldEagle · 29/03/2020 20:45

I agree with you. I’d be happy for my 11 year old to walk home when she’s with friends and it’s busy, I wouldn’t when it’s isolated.

JustMySize · 29/03/2020 20:54

I wouldn't be happy letting a 6 year old walking a mile from school under normal circumstances, you work should not have suggested it in the first place.

CalleighDoodle · 29/03/2020 20:56

I wouldn't be happy letting a 6 year old walking a mile from school under normal circumstances

She didnt say her dd was 6. She very clearly said her dd was 11.

ThePlantsitter · 29/03/2020 21:00

If school won't allow it then you have to do it. And I'm SURE school won't allow it. I completely see why you don't want your 11 yr old to walk home to an empty house in the middle of a national lockdown. Not healthy emotionally apart from any other considerations.

Merename · 29/03/2020 21:00

I’d feel the same as you and think you need to stand your ground with your work. These are exceptional circumstances and they are being unreasonable with being inflexible, it’s only for a couple of weeks until her dad recovers anyway, isn’t it?

BatInTheAttic · 29/03/2020 21:06

my 14 year old would not walk home alone. She is happy to do so when its normal school time, but if she stays for a club we have to pick her up as she gets scared. There have been a few weird happenings when kids are walking back alone (it is quiet here) and some were kids we know, and that is always on her mind.

hibbledobble · 29/03/2020 21:09

At 11 I would imagine most children are able to make this journey alone. Can you give her a mobile, so she can call you if any issue?

Otherwise, what other choice do you have?

Bluepeace · 29/03/2020 21:10

Our school have banned walking from home for all aged children at the moment, they usually let them from year 4.

Dreamstosell · 29/03/2020 21:31

Should she be going to school though?Has she been in contact with her dad? If so surely she should be self isolating for two weeks.

Original poster

cheesemongery · 29/03/2020 22:56

Thank you for all the replies and understanding @RoseGoldEagle you nailed it.

I don't think the school will allow it anyway, and there is no after school club at DD's school to do the 'wrap around' sadly.

@Dreamstosell no she hasn't, we ourselves were in 14 day isolation until yesterday so we've been home since before the schools closed, before the lock down etc - life was pretty normal last time we left the house!

@BatInTheAttic I completely understand, we live in a busy but sometimes rough area. When she was walking home early she called me and apologised for calling late as there was a man shouting "I fucking hate you" in the street to nobody, she didn't know what to do and didn't want to walk past him, so pretended to tie her shoe laces for 10 minutes until he'd moved on!

@JustMySize year 6, just turned 11.

@ThePlantsitter same thoughts exactly, the streets are a little eerie at the moment too as we live in what was usually a very busy area.

I have decided work will just have to deal with it, I only work one mile from the school, I will be gone for a max of 20 minutes. We can't have a lunch break anyway when lone working. If customers pop in they'll see a note - back in 20.

@Playdoughcaterpillar Secondary is 5 mins up the road rather than a mile down the road lol so looking forward to that.

OP posts:

waltzingparrot · 29/03/2020 23:27

Could she cycle? I always feel they are less vulnerable cycling.

Greybutterfly · 29/03/2020 23:46

You are allowed an hours exercise a day. It’s extremely unlikely she will be stopped. I have not heard of anyone being stopped whilst walking. She will be in school uniform in the middle of the afternoon so it would be obvious she has just finished school.

She is starting secondary school next year. Surely it’s time to give her a little independence it’s only a short walk in the afternoon.

HuntIdeas · 29/03/2020 23:54

The streets around here are busier than ever with everyone doing their daily exercise!

ittakes2 · 30/03/2020 00:16

I think the streets are too quiet now and I agree with you that it would be uncomfortable for her to walk home alone with not many people around. Another option is there someone at school who can drop her home? You might find a teacher or another parent who lives nearby - not something I would normally suggest but this is a different time at the moment.

CeriseClementine · 30/03/2020 00:38

I wouldn't be happy for my dc to be walking alone at the minute.

My older two dc (9 and 12) got shouted at by an old man earlier for being out 'playing'. They were riding their bikes around our road which is a long circular no-through road. Recommended exercise and all that and they were actually cycling, not pissing about. He came out of his house especially to flag them down and tell them off.

I was out with them but obviously my walk isn't as fast as their cycle so they were doing 3 or 4 circuits for every one I managed to walk. It took every ounce of my willpower not to go and bang on the old goats door and tell him off right back.

Anyway...plenty of people are weird atm and I wouldn't fancy either of them being out alone right now.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 30/03/2020 00:48

I wouldn't be happy letting a year 6 year old walking a mile from school under normal circumstances

Same - that's approx age 10 right? Always picked up from school here at that age,

Original poster

cheesemongery · 30/03/2020 01:01

She is starting secondary school next year. Surely it’s time to give her a little independence it’s only a short walk in the afternoon.

You are allowed out for exercise once a day - nowhere does it stipulate an hour.

She will not be in school uniform.

She already has had her independence - walking home in normal circumstances.

These are not normal circumstances. It is just over a mile walk, not a short jaunt.

Good for those who's streets are busier, but ours aren't. As I said above - the streets are eerily quiet. So should something happen to her - there is nobody about to shout to or witness it.

Anyway, decision made - some of you might think IABU but my child comes first before my job.

OP posts:

OrangeTwirl · 30/03/2020 01:06

It is encouraged, by school, for pupils from year 4 to walk to and from school here. We don’t live a mile away from primary school though.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 30/03/2020 01:06

Anyway, decision made - some of you might think IABU but my child comes first before my job

This is the one thing that pisses me off about MN - why bloody ask?
lol

adriennewillfly · 30/03/2020 01:07

YANBU

I've seen a lot more unstable people out and about since the lockdown.

Original poster

cheesemongery · 30/03/2020 01:08

@CeriseClementine I hope your kids were okay and you could explain this mans unreasonable response. Sounds like one of those that doesn't like kids regardless!

@ittakes2 I did think about that, I have no idea what other kids are at school and I doubt the teachers would do it as there's bound to be some safeguarding issue even if she gets in the front door and waves them off!

I'll just leave work and get her. I need peace of mind, she needs peace of mind, no job is worth the potential worry and stress, and risk.

Better get to sleep! Night all.

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