AIBU to say no to my lodger having guest now?

[Katiekattty]

My DH and I have a lodger (B) at the moment. He’s recently asked if his gf/partner can stay over. We’ve no issue with that as long as it’s only for a couple nights a week.
B asked my DH today if his gf can come and stay for week because she’s alone during the lockdown. She lives about 2 hours away from us. AIBU to say no because no one should be travelling at the minute, as well as I don’t want to take the risk with her being here on and off? I don’t actually want her staying here for a week even it’s unusual circumstances.

This is an example of how the virus can spread amongst just one family get together, let alone adding a girlfriend (or gran) to the mix

www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/world-us-canada-51978164

Your lodger and his girlfriend's wishes to be together can't be allowed to override the restrictions , that's ridiculous. I do get fed up with people who don't think they apply to them

@fedup21
Gran?!

OH COME ON!!
Are you saying my gran can't come to stay when I'm self-isolating from covid symptoms? Who's going to tell me a bedtime story... and wash me?

Why have you been allowing anyone.

It's perfectly clear - if someone doesn't live in your house, they don't come to your house.

My grandma lives completely alone, I'd love to go see her. But I can't, because I'd rather keep us both safe

The Gran confusion has really tickled me!

Of course she can't why would it even need asking. He either stays with you and she doesn't come or he goes and lives with her

He’s an idiot.

Many of us live alone. Im a bit (well, a lot actually) scared of being ill/dying alone, but I’m 50’s with comorbidities. Maybe she is too, but I assume not as you haven’t mentioned it. I could understand him going to hers if he feels he really has to, if she’s scared, but if she’s just a bit bored they need to grow up.

If he does go to hers he HAS to stay there until travel is permitted again.

Though why have they left it until now???

Does the GF bring the lodger's gran with her?

Or is it her gran?

Or does she just pick a random one to bring with her?

Thanks @TimeAintNothing for making this thread far more fun.

OP, of course you are not being unreasonable. Your a lodger is an adult and shouldn't need you to make the adult decision for him.

I definitely think you should let the poor gran stay though....

What kind young man to be thinking of his gran as well as his sex-life.

Send him to live with his girlfriend.

Invite his gran to stay with you but make it clear she has to self-isolate for the first 7 days.

It sounds as though none of you really understand what a lockdown entails. Of course his girlfriend cannot come to stay, that’s the whole point of a lockdown!

Thanks for Mystery Gran - much needed laugh here!
Also, thanks for the link to the article by the Yale epidemiologist.

Absolutely stand firm.

My lodger is being a nightmare . She was slow to self isolate, met a family member whilst should have been doing so, went into a shop just before due to come out of self isolation and then has been planning to do lots of shopping for her family which is all well and good but we have someone in the family who is vulnerable.

She has been extremely resistant to the fact she may have CV despite coughing her guts up and having a direct link back through us to group of people who went to Italy during half term. The week after they returned our DC had something involving a cough that went on for ages, I was ill 6 days later and currently on day 20, DH has had something and so has she. But no she knows better she’s been much iller than this before and it’s just a fucking winter bug, and it indeed maybe but we don’t know that, Relationship has pretty much broken down at this point.

I'm getting more and more furious reading about people who selfishly think the rules don't apply to them - particularly those in happy relationships who live apart and don't want to live together for the duration, but who nonetheless apparently can't do without a regular shag.

Like the rest of us who are also missing people we care about. Like all of us with vulnerable family or friends we don't know if we'll see again. Or people trapped inside in horribly unhappy situations - broken down relationships, or even worse, who are living with various forms of abuse without any respite.

And then there are those whose largest concern seems to be not getting their end away. I just despair. OP - no way should you allow any visitors into your home. I really hope your lodger isn't sneaking out to the girlfriend either and bringing back the risk of infection.

@Manchestermanchester

I don’t think your lodger is being unreasonable.

Excuse me?? Why the fuck not?

We’ve been on lockdown nearly a week, so people really need questions like this answering? 😒

There's 3 of you. 3 adults. How do you not know this?

I imagine the OP meeting a stunning 20 something outside the bathroom one morning, complete with fully contoured makeup ,Daily Mail tumbling locks and flaunting fabulously long pins.

"Hello dear, " she says" I'm B's Granny. I was just popping to the kitchen to get us some breakfast. Can I knit you a bowl of shreddies while I'm down there?"

Yanbu and you know it, she has to stay in her home, he has to stay in his....

Why are you even entertaining the idea of putting your household at risk? If he is so desperate to see his girlfriend (or gran) he can go and stay with her and come back to your house in a couple of months or so 🤷‍♀️

Definitely not. No. Not a chance.

I think it’s ok for the gran to come since she’s imaginary and imaginary people can’t spread the virus. Should be a no to the girlfriend unless she’s also imaginary.

My DH was a bit on the fence but I said no. DH woke with a bit more common sense this morning and we’ve told G no and if he does go to his gf then we’ll expect him to stay there. We’re still discussing whether imaginary granny can visit.