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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Another boy

71 replies

CleverQuacks · 28/03/2020 14:45

I am a single parent and currently pregnant with my 4th child. I already have three beautiful boys. A couple of weeks ago I went for a private gender scan and found out I am having another little boy. I am so happy! I love my boys so much and can’t think of anything better than adding another little lad to my brood.

However I haven’t been able to tell any of my family. Since I announced my pregnancy they have been making comments about how this baby better be a girl and I know they will be negative when I tell them it’s another little boy. I feel so sad for my little boy that his family will not be happy about him. My family are also the type to voice their disappointment so I know they will be negative.

Would it be awful to tell them I am not finding out the sex of the baby and then just announce it when he arrives? And hope that his arrival will be enough to stop any negative comments.

OP posts:

Minxmumma · 28/03/2020 15:54

Congratulations, enjoy your little chap.

As for the rest of them, ignore them. I deliberately never found out what I was having as MIL had some very loud opinions about everything.
If they say anything tell them to toddle off.

ProfessorofCunning · 28/03/2020 15:55

I didn’t find out with any of mine, mainly because I didn’t want to have to deal with this rubbish from people. And to avoid horrible yucky, fluffy, lacy pink stuff from OH grandma (she had form for this) I have 4 boys and they are amazing.

WhenDoIGetToSleep · 28/03/2020 16:06

It's a strange thing that people think you should have a "balance" of kids.

I have 2 and when people find out I have a DS and a DD I frequently get the comment "oh, 1 of each; that's good isn't it?".

Errr, actually, I'm happy to have 2 healthy kids no matter what sex they are?!

diddl · 28/03/2020 16:08

Why will they be so disappointed?

Are there no girls & they were hoping yours would be one so that they could play dress up?

lmcneil003 · 28/03/2020 17:16

Congrats.
My friend just had a baby girl after 3 boys and she's over the moon. She wanted to experience the mother/daughter bond. I don't think she would have aborted if it was a boy, but she got her girl.

OP - it you had the choice ( which you didn't ) would you have chosen a boy?

CeriseClementine · 28/03/2020 17:20

I don't think she would have aborted if it was a boy, but she got her girl

What a disturbing sentence. I feel sorry for all four children in that situation tbh if the mothers' attitude is anything like this in reality.

SouthWestmom · 28/03/2020 17:22

As she was holding my tiny baby this woman (popped in via the local mum network) said what a shame I'd had another boy as they just go off and leave you in the end.

Bluepeace · 28/03/2020 17:27

"OP - it you had the choice ( which you didn't ) would you have chosen a boy?"

So. Much. Stupid.

ArthurandJessie · 28/03/2020 17:33

Urgh I hate this ! My mum went on and on about oh the baby better be a boy turns put we are having twin boys and now she says didn't you want a girl ? Aren't you disappointed ? Can't win lol I was over the moon with whatever

CeriseClementine · 28/03/2020 17:42

I had all kinds of commiserations from people when I had ds3.

Most of them were from mothers of girls - and just that one specific type of mother who dress their girls up like dolls and make a number of facebook posts about their 'little diva' and how their daughter is their 'best friend'.

Just ignore and enjoy your lovely boys op!

Original poster

CleverQuacks · 28/03/2020 18:24

Before I had the scan I honestly didn’t mind what the outcome was going to be. If it had been a girl I would have also been happy, although also slightly anxious because I have never patented a girl (stupid I know). It just frustrates me, even the sonographer who did the scan asked me if I had children and when I explained about my boys she was very apologetic telling me it was another boy. I had to reassure her that I was happy.

OP posts:

1stTimeMama · 28/03/2020 18:42

When I had my 3rd son (4th child), I knew he was a boy but didn't even tell my husband, let alone anyone else! When he was born, I still got the disappointed comments from MIL as apparently she "really wanted a girl", so be prepared for the comments, even if you don't tell them until he arrives!

lmcneil003 · 28/03/2020 19:10

Don't worry what other people think or say.
If there were only two eggs left, a boy and a girl, which would you have chosen?

lmcneil003 · 28/03/2020 19:12

What a disturbing sentence. I feel sorry for all four children in that situation tbh if the mothers' attitude is anything like this in reality.

But she didn't abort.....that was my point. Lots of cultures abort if the foetus is the wrong sex. It's not unusual.

CeriseClementine · 28/03/2020 19:13

If there were only two eggs left, a boy and a girl, which would you have chosen?

Why so determined to get the op to choose imcneil?

She's already said she didn't mind

Elllicam · 28/03/2020 19:16

I have 4 little boys too OP and my I’ve always felt especially protective towards my 4th little guy after all the stupid comments. I wouldn’t swap him for 100 girls.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 28/03/2020 19:21

My answer to anyone who tells me the sex or what number child it is: how lovely!

lmcneil003 · 28/03/2020 19:21

I'm just interested.....

Manchestermanchester · 28/03/2020 19:27

They should be more focused on you being a single mother

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 28/03/2020 19:29

We told people we could not tell from the scan, end of story.
A lot of people assumed we wanted one thing or another while we had zero preference for the gender, I found it a bit nosy, but nothing could be done about it. We know what we are having but told everyone the scan was not conclusive because of baby's position and dont have to worry about it anymore.

Original poster

CleverQuacks · 28/03/2020 19:33

@Manchestermanchester all my family are very supportive of me being a single parent. I am happier and healthier since we separated and so are my children. It’s the best thing I did.

OP posts:

Original poster

CleverQuacks · 28/03/2020 19:36

@Imcneil003 I really can’t decide what I would have chosen. If I really really had to choose then maybe a boy but then I think of all the great things about having a girl to.

OP posts:

ThinkWittyThoughts · 28/03/2020 19:41

I had this with DC2. My standard retort was

"Well it's not like I was planning to breed them, is it?"

Worked like a bloody charm

Jemima4309 · 28/03/2020 19:45

Another mum of 5 boys. Didn't know what I was having until delivery and I'm proud of all of them. Yes, I did get the "going to try again?" and "maybe get a girl time" comments and didn't engage other than to say I'm more than happy with my boys - main thing is they're healthy. Enjoy your sons - boys are fab.

MouthBreathingRage · 28/03/2020 19:45

@Manchestermanchester, what the fuck is wrong with you?

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