To wonder that it doesn’t seem to be ok to express ones true feelings on MN?

[Amazemae]

I have noticed the way some posters jump right on others. Yes it’s ok to be struggling with the lockdown and yes people may feel it is unnecessary for these restrictions but surely by attacking them it’s not going to help. We all need to express our feelings at times no matter how unreasonable as it can be first step towards changing the way we feel. Saddened with the way some people are trying to reach out but virtually stamped on and told they are wrong and they should see the bigger picture. It’s not always possible to see the bigger picture when one is drowning in sadness, anxiety and isolation.

You want to change which people suppress their feelings. Anger not allowed? Be nice ladies?

I rarely see a thread where everyone agrees. Normally there is a wide range of opinion and strength of feeling. That's one of MN's greatest strengths.

If something’s bothering you it would be better to just say what it is and ask for help. More productive than yet another “Mumsnet is so mean” thread. They happen several times a week.

I’m not saying anger is not allowed but it’s recognsing that vulnerable people with poor mental health may be posting on here. It’s not just about a right to express an opinion. If someone is clearly emotionally distressed about the lockdown for example, it’s not going to tell by being aggressive towards them.

Nothing is bothering me but I’ve seen posters getting upset with good reason this week. Not everyone can speak up @AnneLovesGilbert. If someone has poor mental health you can’t expect them just to speak up.

Sometimes people find it helps to be told straight.

AIBU is not the place to go if OP wants only soothing reactions to their odd behaviour.

But I expect that , especially now, move people will be experiencing a huge range of emotions and many of them struggling mentally , so expecting them to be rational is a touch naive ..

Your opinion of what is clearly emotionally distressed and what is aggressive might be quite different to other people's opinions.

There's being told straight and there's being a cunt for the sake of it.

I agree interpretations can vary but it’s usually possible to tell if someone is being overt about their feelings and using words such as anxiety and fear.

Being straight is not going to help them. They may be new to AIBU also so not understand it can be a harsh place.

@Frankiecandle

Agreed.

There's a mental health board for those who are struggling. But honestly, a lot of people are being ridiculously immature and selfish about this whole lockdown, in fact the whole reason it was needed because people were behaving like fools and toddlers in tantrum.

Totally agree with TorkTork.

Quite right o p

Being straight is not going to help them.

That's an opinion.

And for god sake when did people start using the term 'reach out' for so many things.

AIBU is fight club, it's the bun fight topic.

The mental health boards are very supportive.

All I know is this, I swing from being terrified to thinking it will all be ok and MN is the very last place on the internet I would come to for support or advice right now.

I sometimes think I have ventured onto 4chan and I physically wince at some of the replies to someone who is about to jump.
When you go on certain comments sections say like the Daily Mail or the Guardian, you can sort of guess the overall responses because of reader demographic, but that doesn't seem to work here.

Some posters are extremely annoying!

Especially the OPs rushing to post about every little CV related misdemeanour. They remind me of school kids running to teacher to tell someone off.

@Frankiecandle hope you are doing ok

See what you mean, OP, but at the same time expressing one's feelings cuts both ways.

Other people are desperately worried because they know that their vulnerable children are the ones who would be considered dispensable in a crisis. Others have loved ones who work for the NHS and are more at risk the more cases they have to treat.

Having somebody not only express their worries but actively encourage a policy that would put their children's lives at risk is going to upset people, don't you think?

Because the posters I have seen have not just been saying "I feel so stressed, what can I do"?: they have actively tried to get other people to agree that self isolation is wrong and harmful and must stop.

Some people reading this will know that if public opinion becomes too strong and lockdown is abandoned, this may cause the death of their own child (whether because they're a doctor or because they have medical needs that require safe hospital treatment). So should they not be allowed to express their feelings?

I have a young adult child with MH problems and I worry each day that she will break. But I am putting everything I have into supporting her, and she is putting everything she has into managing her anxiety, because neither of us wants a doctor or a young child with asthma to die for her.

I will be using MN for support if things get bad. But I will try to remember it's about "How can we cope?" not "Society has no right to try to protect other vulnerable people". They absolutely do have that right.

I agree with mumsnet being a minefield for trolls and it really does seem like the people in control either can't or won't get involved.

All they ever do is point people to the talk guidelines and as far as they are concerned that's job done!

I have seen users abused, screamed at and threatened but still mumsnet admin sit on their hands.

I'm the past weeks I've seen nurses ridiculed, police officers shouted at, worried parents dismissed and many many other instances. But sill mumsnet sit on their hands held captive by fear of offending or losing numbers.

When mumsnet started they were really good at monitoring the chat threads.

Now they are more interested in advertising revenue and profits!!

I agree Covid 19 has made some people truly rabid and they feel given them a license to be thoroughly unpleasant, be nice - even if you're a frother!

I posted while in a panic about having lost my job last week, not really understanding JSA/notice pay (one comes off the other), while worrying about paying not only full nursery fees in the meantime, but more now I don't qualify for tax free childcare. And as I expected I now have had emails saying that the offices from which I am claiming are closed. I really didn't need berating for daring to complain when other people don't get statutory redundancy or notice like I was some sort of idiot.

@hammeringinmyhead Can I just say sorry you lost your job, that must be very distressing - I sat down and cried my eyes out last week for all the people whose lives were being turned upside down and they haven't even had the virus yet, it's overwhelming - the fall out from this situation goes much further than just people getting ill, although obviously I'm not minimising anyone's health. I honestly don't know what's happened to people - a second virus perhaps that makes normal people nasty or maybe they've always been that way just waiting for an opportunity to vent.

Thank you. I'm normally pretty robust but I'd just been in to clear my desk after 13 years so I regret posting now. I hid the thread after someone questioned why the nursery fees aspect was bothering me.