Lost it with toddler and feel awful

[CobaltRose96]

DD is 12 months and normally very happy and chilled. However, for the past few days (pretty much since the lockdown really) she’s been in a foul mood. Moaning/whinging/whining almost all day. Wanting to cling on to me 24/7 and screaming the second she’s put down. She’s also been off her food and smacks the spoon out of my hand or throws the bowl on the floor (I know this is quite normal for a toddler and normally it wouldn’t really faze me, but on top of everything else it’s really starting to irritate).

Neither me nor DD have left the house in almost two weeks, mainly because I’m so terrified of catching this virus (although I will need to go out tomorrow to buy food). I think we are both starting to go stir crazy!

My partner is a key worker so still having to work, which worries me to no end. So it’s just me and DD at home most of the day.

All of this has culminated in me losing my shit today 😫 After a week of almost constant whining I lost it. DD likes to look out of her bedroom window, so I was holding her in my arms whilst she looked. She was quite happy for a bit but then started whinging because I wouldn’t let her climb onto the windowsill. After a while she started screaming and arching herself backwards and twisting like a crocodile. I almost dropped her (she’s VERY strong for her age) and that made me panic, and at that point I could feel my temper boil over. I put her in her cot, stomped out of the room, shouted, and slammed my fist against the kitchen worktop (which bloody hurt!). I’ve never ever hit anything in anger before.

My anger dissipated the second I did it and I instantly felt guilty. I still feel awful now. I went back into DD (who didn’t seem to have noticed my outburst) and cuddled her and said sorry 😫 She seems absolutely fine now, happily playing with her toys and watching Mr Tumble, but now I feel like an awful mum. I’m not normally an angry person at all, but I completely lost it. I cannot help but worry that I’ve traumatised her or something (even though she didn’t see it and I doubt she heard it either as she was still screeching in her cot).

How can I get so angry at my own child, though? And she’s still only little

Putting her in her cot was absolutely the right thing to do. They try the patient of a saint at the best of times and being stuck in for three weeks compounds it all massively. Be kind - to yourself

You were scared you nearly hurt her. You put her somewhere safe and took yourself and your anger away. You have regained control and feel terrible about it. Sounds like you did everything right

So Sorry, this is a sign of the stress you are under. You did the right thing by putting her in the cot and leaving the room. Now be kind to your self and take steps to ensure it wont happen again. Think about the scenario ans how to manage it next time. try not to put yourself in a position when she will do the same thing. Take some time to find 5 mins to practice relaxation/breathing techniques. there are free apps. Dont beat yourself up, but take it as a sign you must address your stress levels

Oh please don’t feel bad about this. We’ve all been there.

You did exactly the right thing. You made sure DD was safe and secure before venting your feelings with her out of earshot.

It’s a turbulent time at the moment and emotions are running high.

Are you not even going out for a wee walk? I think that could do you the world of good and DD too if she’s able to toddle and use up some energy.

You left so you could express your anger safely. These are hard times for us all. Be kind to yourself.

You got angry, put the baby in her cot and walked out... I fail to see how you lost your temper and why you feel so guilty...?
You actually did everything you’re meant to do. Make sure baby is safe and walk out till you’ve calmed down.

CoralFish is 100% right. don’t be so hard on yourself, these are very trying times

You did exactly the right thing OP, shes forgotten already, dont beat yourself up, you didnt shout at her, you walked away. It's a tough time anyway, I can't imagine being in this current situation with a toddler, cut yourself some slack.

Thank you all. It’s definitely stressful and I think DD is picking up on my stress, hence the whinging! I feel much better now.

No more letting her look out the window, though. You can't be expected to hold her when she won't stay still, and small children climbing onto windowsills is risky.

You did nothing wrong. So just make sure there is nothing she can use to climb up anywhere in her room (or the house), have a cuppa and stop beating yourself up over a perfectly normal fear/anger/frustration response to what happened.

It's hard times for us all but double the stress of a member of the family is a frontline worker you have a small child who is picking up on the different times and they can be hard to please at that age too. Please don't give it too much thought your baby was safe and unharmed. Please look after yourself we've all been there. Maybe push baby out to the park for an hour you'll both feel much better.

You did exactly the right thing. You placed her somewhere safe while you got control of your anger. Well done.

Trying having a bath together, I always find that a nice soothing time with DS

OP you sound like a good mum!

We’re all going to lose our shit at the moment. Take it easy

It is really hard just now. It really is.

Teething?

I thought this was going to be much worse from the title. Don’t worry. It sounds like she wouldn’t have even seen you lose your temper as it mostly happened outside the room. Totally normal.

I locked myself upstairs to cry loads when DD was small. Id make sure she was safe and curl up on the landing cry it out and get back to business as usual! Just because you made them doesn't mean they cannot drive you nuts! It happens to the best of us x

You definitely did the right thing and I am guessing most parents have had their moments with toddlers. It’s a lovely day out there so I would put her in her buggy and go for a walk.💐

Aw OP we all lose our shit ocassionally at the best of times.. You did the right thing by leaving her safely for a few minutes to calm down.

You handled things like a pro. Seriously. You pit her somewhere safe and lost your shit elsewhere. Why on earth are you beating your self up? You are allowed to crack you know. Give yourself a break, get through to bedtime and then pour yourself a nice big gin.

Agree with pp. You did the right thing left her in a safe place while you vented your anger away from her.
Putting her in a buggy and going for a walk sounds like good idea and will help both of you.

It’s ok you handled this fine. You protected your dd and didn’t let her see you angry. I second putting her in the buggy and going for a walk. You will be in no danger if you follow distancing rules.

I voted YABU for thinking you've done something awful. Toddlers are incredibly frustrating and these are stressful times. You didn't scream at her or hurt her, you put her in a safe place then gave yourself space. All ok.

Get out for a walk. Staying indoors with no fresh air is no good for you or her. And you responded pretty well to a clingy stroppy child!