To feel like I can't carry on with this 'show' any more?

[Pushpushpoosh]

I am trying to remain upbeat and positive Infront of the kids but when they go to bed I'm consumed by anxiety of the current situation.
My dd has undiagnosed asthma she's on asthma medication but she's only 3 and no Dr will disagnose it so DH has been placed into a high risk area of his work however if we had proof DD has asthma he would be more protected but we can't get the proof because no Dr will speak to us.

If dh brings the virus home I don't know how did or her younger brother will manage it they've both been very unwell respiratory wise in the past and I'm just so worried.

I feel constantly sick and my face aches from clenching my jaw constantly because of the worry. I know everyone is feeling the same I don't want a pity party just a hand hold maybe?

I miss my mum so much, I see her most days usually and this is killing me. I honestly can't see a light at the end of this tunnel. But I know I need to get up in the morning and put on my brave face again. Right now I'm exhausted with the anxiety and worry of everything

I am incredibly lucky, I know, we have food and dh has his job and my family are all currently well I don't want to complain. AIBU to just ask you to tell me this will all end at some point I can't see out at the minute.

It’s normal to be worried, but I think you need to put your worry into perspective otherwise you will struggle to cope.

DS is 5yo, has viral asthma and just got COVID. It lasted 13 days, he needed his inhalers and then steroids, but he was fine. Of course we were very worried, but it never got bad enough to need a doctor’s visit, it was all done by phone.

Children do get COVID, children with asthma also get it, yet, statistically, they are fine. A very tiny proportion of children who get it may need medical help but that is a very reassuring fact.

My ds has got what appears to be this virus. Like your dd, he uses inhalers and had hospital admissions but was never diagnosed with asthma for the same reasons as your dd. He had a fever for a few days and still has the cough. He uses his inhalers but it doesn't seem to have progressed beyond that. Like someone else said, there are so many children with asthma and if this was affecting them badly we would absolutely have heard about it by now.

Take care, this is a very stressful time. Keep pushing the doctor for a letter, more so that you feel in control which will help your anxiety. Practise as much isolation at home as you are able, and clean surfaces and clothes. Try to keep busy with creative or physical activities. Hopefully at some point we will all be looking back on this time as a distant and awful memory.

I would agree with people not posting links to awful stories. The OP obviously takes this very seriously indeed and stories about specific individual cases will not help. OP I wouldn't even click on the links, go with what you know, which is that children, including asthmatics, do not seem to be badly affected by this illness.

Sending you a hug. This is hard! But somehow you must go into your own world a little bit now. Forget the news, the stats etc. Keep your days busy. Windows open. Go outside. Play music. Watch a box set. Picnics outside. later nights. Hopefully lie ins! Watch a comedy. Play with the kids.

We won't ever know the true stats. But there's 65 million people in the UK. Children mostly seem ok. We can argue there's 12,000 cases already plus thousands more. but millions and millions are ok.

You are allowed to worry though. I've had my wobbles. I don't know how I'll relax when we are allowed out again. I'll worry about child getting it at school. Even though I want her back with her friends and hate that her life has been changed so drastically.

I went through two days of crying. (When kids were asleep or at school) two days of feeling sad/pissed off etc. But now I just want to try to appreciate this extra time with my children. I will be given such a simple amount of time again with them. We don't have to rush. We don't need a routine. My kids have been so happy outside. They have chased butterflies and made a ladybird house. They have played with water for hours. They have skipped and played ball.

Perhaps your hubby can stay elsewear at the moment.

I do understand your fears for your little girl. Keep her healthy with fresh air, food and lots of fluids. She will be ok.

If you're that anxious.. cant you and the kids move out or him move out? Short term?

I had this same worry about my DS OP. He is on Montelukast and a blue inhaler when needed for viral-induced wheeze. I phoned the GP and he reassured me that my son was at no higher risk than any other child and just to follow guidelines. Because Montelukast isn't an oral steroid, like a previous poster said it's an allergy medication, I think that makes a difference.

Hope you get the answers you need from the GP today

@HicDraconis
Superb advice re the big ziplock bag and the mobile phone ..
I have been wiping mine down with methylated spirits , and using IPA {isopropyl alcohol...had some before this} on my laptop.

Good advice all round, thanks

I just wanted to say that my dd did grow out of it around age 4. So it does happen. Try and stay positive op.

@HicDraconis

Really good advice and I’m sorry you are having to live like this, some people are sacrificing so much while others continue to flout the rules.

@JellyXwellies

I turned LBC radio off, and tuned to another station .......?the constant drip feed of 'Covid-19 news' was exhausting.

I heard this advice from an LBC radio presenter, who said ''if it all gets too much, listen to something else''

but aargh...just now, even on my 'other' radio channel they just mentioned Coronavirus podcast...no escaping it on any radio format, it seems.
But the constant reportage can get a bit much day after day.

Back in Jan, I asked our local Pharmacy if the 'Wuhan virus' was 'anything to be concerned about', about it spreading..when they allowed the buses to come in with the quarantined people on. {bus drivers with no hazmats}

She said there were ''no real concerns for us over here''....How things have accelerated..

I really hope you manage to get a doctor's note to explain to this employer. There is no point putting a key worker in a high risk role to save people, only to give it to his very own daughter with respiratory problems. We all have to do our bit for society, but I still believe our first priority must be protect our own loved ones, no matter how much society try to pressure key workers otherwise.

Can I just add. My daughter is severely asthmatic and has been on inhalers since she was 11 months old she is now 8. They would diagnose her until she was 6 just in case she get out of it. It may sound strange but it happens regularly.

@Leaannb nobody under the age of 9 has died from it. I think that’s what the pp meant when they said that children aren’t as affected. Also the cases you posted are the rare exceptions where younger people have had serious complication. Of course young people still can get seriously sick but it’s is still a very low probability.

OP I think you need to relax about asthma diagnosis for now. It is very low priority on the nhs list right now and unless your daughter was diagnosed with severe asthma then your dh would not be getting any more protections from work.

If it reassures you, my 4 year old nearly died of bronchiolitis when a baby. She has a cough this week which is not bothering her at all. It started as stridor at night which was scary but she has been fine since.

Hope you get your letter and your DH gets moved onto less risky things, OP.

Another here saying thanks Hic for the ziplock bag/phone advice.

I’ve also been washing down my glasses with soap and water when I come in. I’m quite good on not touching my face, but still have to push them up my nose now and then, and clean them as I work in a dirty environment.

Leaannb you terrify me on every thread you pop up on.

I’m not sure what you’re trying to achieve, but I visualise you in a Grim Reaper costume. Ringing a bell.

Can't help you with the diagnosis but I can give you some practical tips in trying to minimise the risk of your DH bringing anything home with him. My DH is a dentist, which is actually the most high risk job atm due to close proximity to patients (literally in patients' mouths).

1. DH keeps work clothes completely separate from his other clothes and changes into them at work.
2. He takes his shoes off at the door before he comes in.
3. He has a shower as soon as he gets home, he already washes his hands just before leaving work but tries not to touch anything until he's had a shower.
4. He puts his work clothes in the wash himself and washes them separately from other laundry.
5. We use disinfectant spray/wipes to clean high traffic areas like door handles, light switches, our phones and remote controls every day.

Taking some of these steps may help you manage your anxiety and feel a sense of control. Your DH could also buy his own protective equipment like a mask and gloves from a hardware store if they're not offered to him by his work.

I understand your worries op, as children can get this virus. My 2 year old dgs has shown symptoms, high fever and bad cough! He has a heart defect, so a bit more concerning. Son and family have had to go into 14 days isolation meaning dil nurse is off work. She feels really guilty being off, but doesn’t want to pass it on, and occupational health won’t test anyone under 3!

You can be diagnosed at under 5 but it is very rare. Ds was diagnosed at 11 months old but he was and still is a severe asthmatic so there was no room for doubt with him (he is 10 and now falls into the shielding group)

Keep practising good hygiene and sensible precautions. Try not to let your anxiety get to you too much (easier said than done I know)

@Pushpushpoosh - given the advice on shielding for those on certain medications, if the GP isn't able to give you a letter, I would give your husband the most recent prescription boxes and a copy of the current guidance on who are considered high risk asthmatics from asthma UK.

With regards to your husband, if he is able to shower and change before coming home, clothes in a bag and straight into the wash, or at least straight in the the shower, bag clothes and put them straight in the wash, it would help a little.

DH and I are both keyworkers and doing the 'strip and shower' as soon as we finish work or get home, as are the children when they have to go to school. Of course it might make no difference, but the school have asked for the children to shower daily when with them if possible and have clean clothes every day so I feel at least a little more in control. a lot of my worries and anxieties about this are because it's unknown.

Lots of children have asthma! They're not considered to be at real risk from corona- stop worrying about it and just take sensible precautions.

It might not be diagnosed as asthma but they are regularly taking specific medications aren't they?

There was a list wasn't there of particular medications/dosages & that people who were on them should isolate(?) for 12 wks?

So was the underlying cause or the medication the reason to isolate?

Why do you have to put on a brave face? Ive cried in front of DD and SD. They know I struggle with anxiety and they are both healthy. I am healthy. They also know that as adults we struggle and they will feel the same when they are older. I think it is fine to normalise being NOT ok. Because sometimes we are not. I am lucky to be key worker able to work from home. DH is a key worker. He has to go out but luckily his employer has put in great measures to keep him away from people. My ex is also a key worker. He works in the NHS but back office so shouldn't have much exposure. I am still shitting myself that they bring it home. I was tempted to ship DH off to my exs (we all get on really well) but I am aware that is not an option so stripping off at the door and showering every day is the compromise.

It is ok to be scared. It is ok for kids to know we are not invincible. If you need to cry all day one day then do it. We do not need to pretend x

Monteulkast and ventolin alone don’t fall into the shielding group. That’s not to say sensible precautions shouldn’t be taken of course.

@Ohdearymeshame Your DD is undiagnosed but on medication for asthma? If a doctor won't diagnose her then it's because she isn't asthmatic.

I''m calling bullshit because I've been through the same, they required 3 hospitalisations before they agreed yes, she had asthma. OP is lucky she has inhalers, they only gave my DD inhalers after she was diagnosed.

That said, OP take a breath and think logically, the data suggests that children are less likely to be detrimentally affected by this virus, so technically, she is not high risk at this time. Don't think we all don't understand, some of us do. My (usually so laid back he's going in reverse) DH freaked out for the first time the other day when he heard about the 18 year old that passed away. We are not told what the underlying health conditions are, we know it's respiratory, so our minds go to the dark place. Totally understandable.

Just take a step back, close your eyes, breathe, and then allow the data to ease your mind.

YANBU to be concerned but fortunately, even with a diagnosis, your little one wouldn’t be concerned to have severe asthma and required to shield for 12 weeks.

You’ve been given some good advice on keeping safe and minimising risks and hope this helps you. Of course you’re worried, I get that. Take care of yourself and don’t feel like you can’t vent or be honest at home when you’re having a bad day. Kids need to know that sometimes adults have a cry, it doesn’t make you weak.