To think this is unsustainable (working with kids)

[coffeeforone]

So from Monday this week DH and I have been working at home full time on the following rota:

6am-10am Me working, DH with kids
10am-1pm DH works, me with kids
1pm-5pm Me working. DH with kids
5pm-8pm DH working, me with kids
8pm onwards - both working to catch up, dinner, laundry, cleaning
11pm - collapse.

Kids are 3.5 and 18 months and would usually go to nursery full time while we work.

Both of us have busy jobs with no sign of them slowing down. Employers have both said we can be flexible like the shift pattern above but we both need to put in about 50 hours each week.

Any tips to make this more sustainable. I'm already exhausted after 4 days!

How many hours would you normally put in? That’s 10 hr days

I'm tired just reading it.

Doesn't sound much fun.

Should have said I need to work more than DH at the moment as it's our busiest time of the year.

Do you typically do 50 hours each per week?

Are you normally paid for a 50 hour week?

And why are your shifts 4 hours and DH works 3?

Your employers are shits, demanding that you do 50 hours a week with small children are home.

Assuming the 18 month old naps. Can you use YouTube, tv for a while.

Also I would get at least one employer to accept you can’t do 5o hours or do some on a Saturday?

Us too... DH doing 7-1pm, me doing 1pm til 8pm

I’m exhausted

8 and 3year old so no naps either

Yes, typically I work 2 or 3 long days in the office 8am-7pm, then 3 shorter days when I do nursery pickup.

Can you do any of the housework tasks in the childcare bit? Ive introduced a film section to every day so i can get some sort of housework done? Otherwise id bin off cleaning until weekend tbh when you dont have to work

I’m the same , and a lone parent

Not proud but YouTube and Nintendo’s are
My babysitters bright now

Stopping and starting can't be much fun either.

Can you do 6am-12noon (with dh bringing you breakfast and cuppas), then he works 12-6 with you taking him lunch and cuppa.

6-7.30 time with the kids together Inc dinner (which you or he prep before 6).

7.30-9 he does bedtime for dc and the laundry and you do the additional hours you need.

9pm relax for both of you.

The 18 month old does nap in the afternoon. We've been using that to give my eldest more attention as the 18month old is quite 'demanding' when he is awake!

Maybe just one longer stint each might be a better solution to stopping and starting - we'll try that next week!

I hear you. It’s my busiest week of the year and I’ve made at least one howler because I’m not fully ‘on’. DH is being a brick but has to work too and DSs are 7 and 4. If I knew it was for a month and then would be over I would be coping better.

It's horrendous, isn't it.

I feel so, so guilty but CBeebies has been on a lot in my house. I'm trying to work more after bedtime (2 and 4 year old DDs) but being up at 07pp and finishing work at 2100/2200 is tiring.

In short, it is unsustainable!

That sounds exhausting OP and I'm sure you're not alone in feeling like it's unsustainable. My DS is 9 and we're coping, but I'm sure it would have been miles harder when he was a toddler.

All I can suggest is taking on a very stoic "we can do this" attitude- think of it as you're 'doing your bit' to help the country get through this, no matter what your work is. Many are struggling with the same dilemma and having to make do.

Practically, use the looking after kids time to also do little jobs. You can put on laundry with them there, prep dinner while you're prepping lunch, clean a little.

This isn't mean unsympathetically. It's SHIT. But barring reducing your hours via your employer, you just need to be grateful you've got a partner allowing you to do still do both, even if it's exhausting. Keep reminding yourself this is short term, it's not forever, you're tired but will be ok.

I wfh as my normal and have had to work with my child home on a few occasions before this pandemic.

My suggestion is given there's two of you, that I would go for a longer block of time each.
So I'd say you doing 6 to 12pm then you managing lunch and dinner. Plus 18m nap from 12 to 6.
Oh until 12 doing the children's breakfast and schooling g etc.Then 12 to 6 oh works. 6 to 8 he gets the children bathed and bedded. Whilst you continue working. He can them join you if needed.
Household tasks imo should be divided into morning and afternoon when with the children. Eg one outs laundry on line, other puts it in. One peels and preps the meals the other makes.

Yep we are doing similar but all of us are mildly ill which mean tempers are very short. We've been at home 10 days now. Its just about manageable at the moment but when we get bad weather again it will be hell.

It's not sustainable. Your employers have to recognise this is a national emergency and you are working flexibly. DH is doing days I'm at work ( frontline nhs hcp) then will work when I get home. That means me doing all baths, dinners and housework and him working until early hours. I don't know how we will cope over 6 months or so. We will both be exhausted and possibly divorced.. ..

I would also look into doing a 6 day week instead of 5 so you could work shorter hours on the weekdays.

If you can be flexible can you work at weekends given that they are now no different to any other day?

The chopping and changing would be the worst bit for me, I would rather do much longer chunks and then 'swap', or ideally alternate days and then work every evening.

Exactly the same issue here, except 3 kids and trying to fit in all of the home schooling too (kids are young enough that they need a lot of help with home schooling). I really don’t know how we can sustain this :(