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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hen Do Refund Nightmare

61 replies

FuzzyTights · 26/03/2020 10:54

Sorry in advance for posting in AIBU but I need some quick replies.

I'm MoH for my best friend and I've organised a hen do that we were supposed to be going on in April. Obviously, it is now cancelled.

I booked an Air BnB using my credit card and paid in full with the other hens paying their share directly to me. Which I then put on the credit card.

I can get a full refund but they will only refund me onto my credit card. How on earth am I meant to refund everyone else? I can't afford to refund anyone from my current account. What am I going to do?

I'm extremely stressed!

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 26/03/2020 11:30

Fruitsaladjelly, I had no idea about that, I thought it was just chargeable with interest. Shock

I don't routinely do that but have done once or twice when I've given my bank card to my husband for some reason and forgotten to get it back.

I won't be doing that again!

ShellsAndSunrises · 26/03/2020 11:31

@FuzzyTights It'll be fine, honestly. They won't want you to hold a credit, it's a pain (and usually chargeable!). They'll either send you a cheque, or more likely, transfer it to the account that you usually make payments from.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 26/03/2020 11:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

EarlGreyT · 26/03/2020 11:45

Use your credit card for shopping/bills etc and send the cash to mates. Might take some time though.
This

Likethebattle · 26/03/2020 11:45

Definitely calm them. My monthly payment went through twice because Santander are muppets and told me it hadn’t gone. I spoke to my cc and she said ‘yes we have an extra payment pending which will go on tomorrow, calm ya then as your account will be £800 in credit and we’ll send it straight back’ it can’t back within an hour of calling.

Standrewsschool · 26/03/2020 11:45

I’m presuming you have now got extra money on your credit card, possibly in credit. If so, use you credit card to pay routine shopping and petrol etc, and use your debit card to refund the hens.

damnthatanxiety · 26/03/2020 11:48

OK, this is NOT a nightmare. it is a something you need to sort out but this is about as far from a nightmare as anything I can think of. Losing all your income and having no home is a nightmare. Having to redistribute money that you have been refunded is a blessing

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 26/03/2020 11:51

damnthatanxiety who are you to critique someone's choice of words? This is stressful for the OP and you and others are determined to not offer any help, just censure. Why do you feel the need to do that?

Handsnotwands · 26/03/2020 11:55

i've had a similar issue. you can link your credit card to your paypal account, then pay your friends back using friends and family option, so they don;t get charges

Biscuitsdisappear · 26/03/2020 11:56

If money has been refunded to my credit card I just phone them and ask for it to be transferred to my bank account.

needsahouseboy · 26/03/2020 12:05

just contact the credit card company and ask them to transfer the credited money to your bank account. That's all that I did, it's hardly rocket science

londonrach · 26/03/2020 12:05

If you have money on your credit card you can ask your credit card company to return it to your bank. Yabu. It got the money back in what part is this a nightmare!!!!

TheOrigBrave · 26/03/2020 12:07

Medievalist

Unnecessary. OP can be concerned about things other than life or death. Where better to ask than here, where people with more experience or knowledge can advise and OP can then sort things out.

Original poster
FuzzyTights · 26/03/2020 12:12

@damnthatanxiety

Who are you to say what is and isn't a nightmare? I have chosen to post about this ONE situation because I needed advice.

Like thousands of other people, I am going through a lot of other issues. I have lost my second job due to this virus and have no idea how I'll be able to pay rent and bills.

Just because I have posted about one issue doesn't mean there aren't any others going on in someone's life.

OP posts:
Chewbecca · 26/03/2020 12:16

Could you use the card for some other expenses that you would usually use your current account for then use the current account £ to pay back? (There would be no credit card bill as it would be offset by the refund).

Bluntness100 · 26/03/2020 12:17

Yeah I can see this issue here, and I also don’t think people should not have any other problem worth discussing other than Covid. Life does go on.

Op they may use the money to pay off any debt the card has, if you’ve been only making minimal payments. Call them and speak to them. But if worst case they won’t let you have the money or withdraw cash, then you’ll need to explain to everyone and owe them the money.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 26/03/2020 12:28

If you know the other hens well, then maybe speak to them about it. We certainly wouldn't be chasing a refund now from one of our friends if it was going to cause them difficulties. We would be happy to wait.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 26/03/2020 12:36

You will get credit back from your card then won't you? Say it was £500 and you then get a refund of £500 - I think your credit will then be paid back to you?

Surely that depends on whether you're able to clear your CC every month or if you run a balance on it.

If you had, say, a limit of £3K on your card, had an ongoing balance of £2K before you spent £500 on the hen do (on behalf of everybody including yourself), taking you up to a £2.5K balance; and then the hen do £500 is refunded, taking you back down to a £2K balance that you still owe to the CC company - they aren't going to ring-fence the £500 and refund it back to your account, when you still owe them £2K, are they?

I second the PayPal option. I'm guessing that they probably levy a fee for using a credit card to send money to friends or family, though - otherwise, if it were free, everybody would do that to effectively take out cash on their CCs without fees or credit down-scoring (i.e. you send your DH £1K via PayPal and fund it with your CC, then he sends it back to you/withdraws it, whether via PayPal or manually).

TheJoyofBeingSingle · 26/03/2020 12:39

withdraw cash from your credit card

Do not do this. Cash withdrawn from a credit card is normally charged a massive interest rate - it's usually way higher than purchases. It's one of the reasons why taking cash out of a cash point against a credit card is an act of madness.

As others have said, I would speak to the company and (assuming you have a positive balance on your account) ask them to transfer that positive balance to your bank account.

The key thing is to make sure that your not going to be treated as making a cash withdrawal.

So for example - say you have been refunded £500 and you want that back but in the same time period you have spent £900, your total credit card balance is minus £400 (to pay).

If you tell them you want £500 cash as a withdrawal (check your interest agreement) often they will have the power to treat the £500 credit as being payment against the debt of £400. So the debt of £400 takes priority and you only have a credit of £100.

If you ask for a £500 cash with drawal (at a point where you have only £100 credit) it will then be treated as a cash advance of the remainder (ie. £400) which will then attract the cash insanity interest rate.

It will depend on your agreement but you need to watch out for this and check that you are not being wrongly treated as having a cash advance.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 26/03/2020 12:40

Obviously, if you're in a position to be spending a lot of money on regular outgoings that you'd otherwise pay by cash or debit card, it's better to pay for those with your CC and then refund your pals with the cash you would have spent instead - but it sounds like there isn't a huge amount of cashflow available here and the friends won't want/be able to wait for their money back.

A bit like when your company expects you to pay large amounts upfront and then claim it back as expenses - they assure you you won't lose out and you'll get every penny refunded straight back in the next few weeks; which is all well and good if you actually have that money spare upfront to 'lend' to them in the meantime....

GrouchoMrx · 26/03/2020 12:41

Nightmare?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 26/03/2020 12:44

It's one of the reasons why taking cash out of a cash point against a credit card is an act of madness.

It is if you have any alternative. Like payday loans and the likes of Bright House (if you can't pay your basic bills and/or your fridge breaks down - not just because you fancy a massive new telly, obviously) - to use them, you either have to be mad OR extremely desperate.

TheJoyofBeingSingle · 26/03/2020 12:48

Also do speak to the hens if you feel able and explain your situation. I get that it will depend on their situation but I would imagine that anyone who is financially able to wait, would be willing to wait and be really understanding in the current climate.

Although I get that you may not want to explain your own financial issues to others but don't rule out kindness and understanding of others as an option if you can't get any where with the Credit card company. Even if only some were wiling to wait it would ease your burden.

TargaryenDragon · 26/03/2020 12:52

Some credit card companies are not charging for cash withdrawals. The interest in cash would still be high, but if you pay your balance off every month that wouldn't be an issue anyway. So check what your company is doing at the moment (I'm with Barclaycard).

TargaryenDragon · 26/03/2020 12:56

This is the message on Barclaycard

www.barclaycard.co.uk/personal/customer/coronavirus

It's in a blue and white box just down the page a bit.

No charges for cash advances.

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